The New Boss
by lulupetts
Summary: After the tragic death of Chief Strauss, BAU has a new boss. How the new boss will interact with the team, and especially with someone whose feelings were pending? Is it too late for them? Let's found out. Rating maybe change.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, people, for those who still love Emily Prentiss, this story is focused on her, and Derek Morgan of course. It will be a Demily romance I must let you guys know. I have to bring her to the BAU all the time still, because I love her so much, and I f***** miss her. I hope you all enjoy. Have fun!**

* * *

The entire team was on vacation after the case that ended tragically with the death of Erin Strauss.

It was now the day that they were going back to work.

The first to arrive at the BAU was Hotchner. He knew that the new boss was coming to take Strauss' position. Hotch wanted to be aware of the main pending cases to report to the new boss about what would be the next steps for the team. He was already locked in his office.

* * *

Gradually, each one of the team members was arriving at the BAU, and they formed a kind of relaxed gathering around Morgan's desk, each one of them holding a cup of coffee. They were talking about their vacations. It was Derek, Spencer, JJ, Penelope, and Blake. After a while, the elevator door opened and Rossi came to join them. They were anxious to meet the new boss who could get off the elevator at any time. But what they didn't know was that the new boss already was in the office that once had belonged to Strauss.

* * *

"Hey, JJ, any idea of who the new boss is?" Derek asked.

"Hmm, as far as I know, even Hotch doesn't know a word about it…" JJ answered.

"I just hope that it's not a person as annoying and dangerous as Strauss…" Derek said.

"Derek!" Penelope kicked him gently, calling his attention to the fact that Rossi was practically a widower.

"That's okay. She didn't become a saint because she died." Rossi pointed.

"And I hope this new boss is not as uptight as Strauss. I hope this person have at least a little of sense of humor…" Garcia said.

"We don't even know if it's a woman or a man…" Rossi said.

"Considering the last person who held the position, and because of all the problems that happened, I think, unfortunately, it will be a man…" JJ pointed.

"Statistically, science has proven that women get consolidated much better in their job than men. Another study showed that they also do much better in command of any type. Researchers interviewed 600 high-ranking officers. The results showed that men in general are more tough, they only stay on the traditional way, and they do not care if the decisions will please or harm other people. On the other side, the women seek more innovative solutions, consulting other members of the company, while also taking into account the opinion of the entire team and they usually think about the negative consequences of that decision. They are more just, creative, and therefore, fare much better as leaders than men… So, I think it will be a woman…"

After that, everyone was silent, looking at Reid, trying to assimilate all the information that he had shared. Derek said:

"Ohhh, C'mon, pretty boy, today is only the first day, please don't fill my "HD" brain that way on the first day…" Derek begged.

Everybody laughed. At that moment, Hotch came out of his office and headed towards the meeting room, calling everybody to follow.

* * *

They were in the meeting room, talking about their vacations, waiting for the new boss to enter. A silence and an apprehension gripped them. Morgan got up to put one more dose of coffee in his cup. No more than five minutes passed when they heard the steps of someone coming. By the sound of heels, they were sure it was a woman.

Two or three more steps, and a beloved being, wonderful, loved by six of them there, entered the meeting room, wearing a black skirt to the knees and a white shirt, impeccable. Earrings and necklace of pearl, black heels, hair perfectly styled in a ponytail to the top of the head, and beautiful as always. It impacted everyone: Emily Prentiss in flesh and bone.

The first sound to be heard was Derek spiting his coffee out.

"Oh, my God!" Garcia gasped.

JJ smiled widely and frowned in surprise. "This must be a dream. Emily is that really you?"

The men looked speechless. That was Emily, but now she was their boss: Their new boss. JJ and Garcia quickly rose to hug her friend. After they sat down again, Emily was complimenting everyone and one by one they stood up to greet and hug her. The first one was Rossi.

"You know how they say: some people always show up like a bad penny in your case… you are a golden treasure, my dear… gracing us and blessing us with your presence again… and wow I was not expecting this very pleasant surprise….welcome back..."

"Always a gentleman! Thank you, Rossi". Emily smiled and hugged him.

"Emily, it is so good to see you again. I hope this time you stay permanently. I'm glad that this turn of events gives me the chance to spend more time with you. I thought it would never happen. I really needed you in the past few months, and I'm really happy now that you're here with us. You've always been family to me…" Reid said when hugging her.

"Thank you, Reid, and we have a lot to talk about. I'm here for you all the time now." Emily said, smiling at him and they gave each other one more affectionate hug.

Then it was Blake. Emily acted perfectly like her mother had taught her: political correct. Blake and Emily shook hands.

"You must be Blake…"

"Nice to meet you…" Blake said.

Emily smiled at her and then turned to Morgan. During the almost six years that they knew each other, only on that last dance both of them felt that they had left something pending behind. Only on that last dance where they danced hugging their bodies tight, they knew that they had much to say to each other, but it was too late at that point to say something. Maybe she still expected something more than a simple: "I think I miss you already," on his part, but his ego was too big to try to prevent her from going by begging her to stay. Even more, because of a possible return to Clyde Easter.

But what she didn't know was that Derek Morgan had saved for her very beautiful words, well saved within his heart. Right at the moment of the dance, he was thinking: 'Why ask something to her if she doesn't want to talk? Please… don't run away. But, I will not cry if you want to leave, sometimes the distance helps, and this storm will end someday. I just want you to remember the time we spent together, because somehow I know our story doesn't end now…' And why didn't he say all this to her? Well, he wondered that now. He just didn't think that their paths would cross again so soon. In the same intensity, he felt a shame of having done nothing to prevent her from leaving, and a determination that he would now fight for her, without jokes or cheap flirtations. Emily Prentiss was a woman to be taken seriously and he wanted to erase the memory of what he had said to Reid. He had a formidable task ahead: to prove to her that she was rather a woman who can make him change his ways.

For now, he just said:

"Hey, Emily, wow, I'm speechless. I'm very happy you are back with us, where you belong…" He was kind of paralyzed. She seemed even more gorgeous, but it wasn't her beauty that was making his heart beat that way.

She tried not to spend too much time into that hug. She was very quick with him.

"Thank you…" She smiled and hugged him before moving on to Hotch:

Hotch got up to hug her and said:

"I am pleasantly surprised, but there is no one more qualified than you Emily. Welcome back and we all look forward to working under you…"

"Thank you, Hotch…"

Then everybody sat down.

"First, I want to say that it was a big surprise for me too when they called me to ask if I wanted this position and I have to confess that I didn't think twice before I accepted, because I've missed all of this. This is home for me, but mainly because I missed each one of you. You guys are family to me, and I missed you all like hell, like I never thought I would miss anyone. Management positions are not really my thing, but to be near all of you, I had to accept. Plus, at Interpol I couldn't travel as much I was doing because I had some serious personal problems there in London, so I had to find somewhere to settle down, and nothing better than home so this proposal came for me in the perfect time. I want to say that we are going to do this as a family, like we always were, and that the door to my office will be always opened for all of you, and please, don't hesitate to come see me and talk to me…"

"Will we have to call you Ma'am?" Garcia asked, joking.

"Well, Garcia, my new rule here is no flirting in the office, especially you and Morgan…"

"I always remembered you being more fun. I hope the British tea and crumpets didn't change you…"

"I'm just joking… please… everybody call me what makes you feel more comfortable…" She said with a smile. "Now, I know everybody is coming from a big vacation, but there are hundreds of cases waiting for you guys, as well as dozens of papers at my desk so I can be aware. I'll let you work now, and I'm going to my office. Thank you all again, it is really good to be home again."

She rose and added:

"It was very good to see you all again, and it will be great working with you guys as a family…I am here to add, I am here to help…"

On her way out, Garcia and JJ went out of the meeting room with her. Garcia said:

"I hope you being our new boss does not prevent us from having our usual ladies night…"

"Hmmm, I'm afraid that what's going to prevent her from ladies night is another thing…" JJ said pointing to Emily's wedding ring.

Only Garcia and JJ knew that Emily had got married in London. Emily said:

"You are kind of right, JJ, but not because the reasons you are thinking… Unfortunately, the problem is bigger, but we talk about this later, okay. I'm sure Hotch is waiting for you guys to present the case…"

Before returning to the meeting room, JJ said:

"It's so good to see you again…"

"It's so good to have you here again…" Garcia added.

They smiled at each other and Emily went back to her office and JJ and Garcia went back to the meeting room. Before Emily could enter her office, the building maintenance people was putting up a new sign in Strauss' office that now belonged to Emily, changing the sign on the door to Emily Prentiss, Unit Section Chief. Emily greeted the people politely, and went into her office. Right after her, without her even noticing, Morgan entered her office to talk to her:

"Hey…"

Emily looked back at him and smiled. He said:

"Welcome back again… I was totally lost in my words back there…"

"You? Lost in your words?…Hmmm…Right!" Emily smiled at him again, joking.

"You should be glad because it's really difficult for someone or something leave me speechless…"

Realizing that Morgan wasn't there to talk about work, she said:

"Derek, I don't want to be rude with you, but Hotch might need you now…"

"I know, I know, but I couldn't let one thing go…"

"What is it?" She asked.

He approached her and touched her hands, gently. They looked each other in the eyes. He asked:

"Is this a wedding ring?"

* * *

**Well, guys, the main idea is this. Now, if I will continue or not with this story, it depends on your comment, okay.**

**Thank you so much for reading.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Oh my GOD! I'm soooo happy with all the sweet and nice comments that I got for this first chapter. This made me so happy because I can realize how much people are missing Emily on the show! I'm not alone, so let's keep Emily Prentiss alive forever! Thank you so much again to everyone! Enjoy!**

**I OWN NOTHING**

* * *

"Hey…"

Emily looked back at him and smiled. He said:

"Welcome back again… I was totally lost in my words back there…"

"You? Lost in your words?…Hmmm…Right!" Emily smiled at him again, joking.

"You should be glad because it's really difficult for someone or something leave me speechless…"

Realizing that Morgan wasn't there to talk about work, she said:

"Derek, I don't want to be rude with you, but Hotch might need you now…"

"I know, I know, but I couldn't let one thing go…"

"What is it?" She asked.

He approached her and touched her hands, gently. They looked each other in the eyes. He asked:

"Is this a wedding ring?"

Emily broke the contact of their hands. She looked down. She turned her backs to him, and she walked slowly to her desk. Before sitting down, she bit her lips, gently, while she was thinking and said:

"Derek, this is not an issue that we should talk here…. Please…." She asked gently.

"It's just a 'yes' or 'no'. Is it so difficult?"

Morgan was nervous, apprehensive and agitated, frowning.

She hesitated for a few seconds and said:

"Yes...This is a wedding ring..." She asserted.

All that he did now was look at her: a deep and sad gaze at the same intensity. It was a propitious time now for some kind of congratulations, but he could not, he was angry, not towards her, not towards the wedding, but to himself. How could he have lost her? How could he have let her escape? There would be time still to try something? They stared at each other in the eyes, for a reasonable time. She felt naked now, not naked of clothes, but naked of soul. He was only looking at her eyes. What could he see in those eyes? He was trying to see beyond them, and he could see: there was still much to be unraveled in there. She finally broke the eye contact, and sat down behind her desk. Morgan followed her movements with his eyes. She began to stir in the papers on the table, and he left her office. She looked up and she could still see him coming out of her office. 'This will really be difficult', she thought.

Although they had never had any kind of romantic relationship, they were always near each other all the time, during six long years they worked together, always pairing in all the BAU cases, and whenever the team went out to celebrate something, they were always together, and always when they had some kind of specific training outside BAU, shooting, or tactical, or training other agents, they were always together. And for that moment, with the hectic life of the BAU, for them, it was good and enough. But from the moment she moved to London, the feeling that they felt for each other that was asleep and untouched began to emerge for both of them. But she always remembered their last meeting in London, the very last time that she had seen him, at that very moment she lowered her guard in a way so vulnerable to him, but he simply did not recognize this moment, when he and Penelope were helping her with the move.

* * *

**About 1 year ago:**

It was around midnight, and Penelope was sleeping in the guest bedroom of Emily's new chic flat. Emily was in her bedroom, but it was hard for her to sleep, she was thinking about the big change in her life again, moving to London, painful memories came to her mind now. But she was at her maximum effort now, trying to think positively, now she was the boss at Interpol, she would not have to go anywhere undercover anymore, and she was not alone, she had Clyde Easter around. Steeped in her thinking, she heard a noise coming from the kitchen downstairs.

She put on her black satin robe, and went downstairs. Was it Sergio trying to get used to this new place? She wanted to see if he had destroyed something.

Already downstairs, she met Morgan coming out from the kitchen:

"….I'm sorry if I woke you… I was looking for a cup…" He said.

"Oh, no….. no problem…" She said hugging herself.

The living room was dark, and it had only the moonlight illuminating the environment through the huge glass pane.

"….Difficult time to sleep?" He asked to her.

She hesitated a little. The fact that she was only in her robe and almost nothing under it in front of Derek Morgan, was messing up with her a little, but they were just friends, former partners, right? Right! So she said:

"Hmmm… Yeah… kind of…"

"You will do great, Emily…I'm sure of it…"

"Yeah… I think I will…" She approached the huge window glass to look out. She had her backs to him now.

"Hey, c'mon Emily, what's up?... you have regrets now?"

Still backs to him, she said:

"Oh…. No….. It is just...another big change, and…...It's like I am starting over and over again….. and… nothing new has changed…"

"You are so good in what you do…..… what kind of 'new thing' are you talking about?"

Morgan was right behind her now, and she turned to face him, saying:

"I just… sometimes I…hmmm… errrr… never mind…" She said, she gave up on saying. He insisted:

"No, please, try me…" He held her now, gently, using both of his hands on her arms.

She looked at his eyes and said:

"Sometimes… I wonder if I had only gotten married and had children…My life would not to be so empty…"

Morgan was not expecting this, not that way, so sincere. She was opening herself for him talking about the deepest desire of her soul in the most pure sense, even demonstrating a certain weakness, a need, never seen in her before. He said:

"Really, Em? Well…. I think you would make the greatest mom ever. It is not too late to start this dream of yours…"

Their eyes met shining brighter than the moon itself. But he was Derek Morgan, too dumb to realize that that was the opportunity of his life. Too selfish to give up on the character he had created for himself: a player. She was there, she was right there. That was the maximum she would do to show him that maybe she was ready for something else beyond weapons and hunt bad guys. But, realizing he did nothing with the lots of information she had shared with him now, she said, getting away from him and going to the sofa:

"Huh, never mind, Derek, it is just … this first moment, these first week…. And, besides…tomorrow you and Pen are going back to America and… I think I'm a little emotional… it will pass…I know for sure…like you said: I always go all alone, right…"

'Wait a minute, I let it pass the very moment that she confessed to me that she wanted to marry and have children? Wait!' He thought. Now, he was confused like a typical 'head of men', and a little desperately, he tried to get back that exactly point that he could have changed his life in a way he would definitely find a complete happiness. He sat beside her, saying…. Well, he opened her mouth to say, but:

He could not say anything because Penelope appeared in the living room, wearing her pink flannel pajamas with drawing bears, coming out of nowhere, saying:

"Am I interrupting something?"

Emily got up from the sofa, quickly lighting the little lamp of the coffee table, saying:

"No, no…. of course not… and since no one of us seems to get sleep, how about we open a good wine and drink during all the night, since it will be our last night together…."

"…Only if you retreat your last sentence! This will not be our last night together! I refuse to believe that you are gone so far from us..."

"Okay, okay, Pen, I retreat. It will be our last night together within maybe a year…"

"I hope it will be less. I will not stand being away from you, God, Emily, why? Why do you have to leave us?... Come back with us to America please, there's still time!" Penelope started to beg her.

Penelope was already shedding tears, Emily was the knot stuck in her throat, and Morgan, well, Morgan was just watching how women are so efficient and able to open up themselves so easily and leave the safe and defensive place. He was looking at those two women interacting and he wished for a moment to have that power too. In less than a minute, Penelope had said all the words that he was supposed to say to Emily, moments before, when he had his chance and missed.

They three talked during almost the entire night, drinking wine and remembering funny things they had lived together.

* * *

The next day, they had called a cab to go to the airport and back to America. Emily's heart beating fast now, but she did not want to show it. Penelope hugged her tight, shedding tears, of course, saying:

"I'm leaving you here… just your body, because I'm taking you with me, here, inside my heart…" Penelope said to her, holding both hands.

"I know…" Emily said, smiling at her.

Morgan also hugged her tight, saying nothing at the first moment. He held her by the waist as she rested her hands on his shoulders. Their faces were like glued, and their eyes were closed. He now wished to return to the moment of dancing, when they were exactly the same position, and tries to change something, but once more, he said nothing. His pride and his ego still spoke louder, fearing he was seeing too much, and he could not try something with her and get 'no' as response. He just said, looking at her eyes now:

"….I'm going to miss you…"

She just stared at him, like: 'so, this is it? She thought in a kind of 'okay, this is all that you have for me'. She actually said:

"…Me too, Derek…"

And they went back to America, Morgan and Garcia. Garcia whining all the time, and Morgan had just one sentence pounding in his head:

"Sometimes I wonder if I had only gotten married and had children…"

* * *

**Now a days:**

It had been the first day of Emily back to BAU as a Unit Chief. The team had already traveled for the first case after their vacation. It was about eight PM and Emily was going home now.

She arrived at home and her husband was waiting for her, just watching TV. She entered the place. They were living in a comfortable Ground floor house now, no stairs, and very spacious.

She approached him and kissed him on the lips. He said:

"How was your first day back?"

"It was good….you know….. seeing everyone again… they have been always like a family to me… as you know…" She sighed, as she sat on the sofa.

"…..And how did they take the news….. with you… as the new boss? He asked.

"Hey, I am home now, and I want to leave work at work, and at home I just want to talk about non work things, so we do the new adjustments to living here in America, okay?"

"Sure…" He said, not too comfortable about what she had just said

"….And how about your day?" She asked.

"…Bored without you…"

"Hmm, I know… but I am already looking for the best physiotherapists in this city and I am thinking of asking them to come every day to spend some time with you ...…"

"Oh, no Emily, not every day… It's not necessary, darling…"

"You need intensive physiotherapy…" She pointed.

"I know, I know… but not every day… besides, you know that my condition is irreversible…"

She approached him taking his hands and saying:

"I know… but we have to do our best to at least try and give you the best conditions so that you have an excellent quality of life, despite your condition…" She smiled affectionately at him.

"I love you…" He said, looking at her eyes.

She smiled again, but nervously now, she could not say it back to him, not anymore, not now. So, she quickly got up from the sofa, kissing him on the head, saying:

"I'm going to prepare dinner…. You must be hungry, right…" She said while going to the kitchen.

* * *

They were having dinner in silence now. Suddenly he said:

"You used to say it back…"

"What?"

"When I say I love you… you used to say it back…"

"Oh, please, not now…"

"No, no, that's okay…I'm just saying, Emily…..I want you to know that you are free, I mean: the time you wanted to leave me… I will totally understand…"

"Please…. I said…. not now….I did not say it back because I have lots of things on my mind right now…. I had a very busy day today…...it's a big challenge for me in this new position at the BAU…"

"I cannot help but feel like a dead weight for you…"

On the table, she took his hand and looking at his eyes, she said:

"You saved my life! You took that bullet for me! I will never forget this. I will never leave you…I already promised you that and I promise again…"

"You don't have to be with me because of this, Emily, because of gratitude…"

"Hey, I think we know each other for too longer for this, huh?…I'm not going anywhere…..Do you want to hear? Then I'm going to say: I love you…okay…I love you…. I am with you because I want to be…"

"It is…. Just… that the only things that works on my body is my left arm and hand, my head and my brain, and you are so pretty, so gorgeous and so full of life still… you deserve someone complete…I'm in this condition already for six months now, and you know I'll stay like this forever..."

"Do you really want to have this conversation now? We talked a lot in London before coming to America. Haven't we agreed that we were going to do this together? Nothing changed, okay?...The moment I don't want to be with anymore, I let you know…" She said flashing her big eyelashes at him.

She got up and started to wash the dishes. She just listened to the wheelchair leaving the kitchen.

* * *

The team was in Texas working on a case, they had just finished delivering the profile, Morgan called JJ to a corner, and asked her:

"Hey, JJ, do you know who Emily's husband is?"

JJ made that facial expression as if she knows but she does not want to say, or not sure if she should say. So, she said:

"Morgan, really, this is so personal, about her life, please, just ask her okay…"

"Can you give me her phone numbers?"

JJ saw no problem in saying her phone number to him, since everyone on the team had to have the phone numbers of each other.

"It is that we had a tense moment this morning and I just wanted to make sure that she is okay. She just came back and I want her to feel really welcomed and that she can count on my support...…"

"Here…" JJ said to him.

Morgan called her cell phone first. Emily was at home, on the shower now. She usually took the cell phone to the bathroom, but from the shower she could not hear, because she had forgotten to take the cell phone of vibrate mode. So, Morgan called her at home. Emily's husband answered:

"Hello?"

"You must be Emily's husband, I presume…."

"Yes, it's me… she cannot talk right now… what can I do for you…"

"Wait….. your voice sounds so very familiar…"

* * *

**So, guys, any idea who Mr. Prentiss is? Do you guys want to know who he is? Next chapter! Please let me know what you are thinking. Leave a comment. Thank you so much, guys!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks again for all the comments! First of all, I want to apologize in advance for two things: my English, although I have betas that help me a lot, sometimes… Another thing is because this chapter will be a big flashback, because I have to explain how Emily ended up married to that person. It will still have another flashback about it in a conversation between her and Morgan, but then it will be only 90% Demily begging to build their romantic history.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

The team was in Texas working on a case, they had just finished delivering the profile, Morgan called JJ to a corner, and asked her:

"Hey, JJ, do you know who Emily's husband is?"

JJ made that facial expression as if she knows but she does not want to say, or not sure if she should say. So, she said:

"Morgan, really, this is so personal, about her life, please, just ask her okay…"

"Can you give me her phone numbers?"

JJ saw no problem in saying her phone number to him, since everyone on the team had to have the phone numbers of each other.

"It is that we had a tense moment this morning and I just wanted to make sure that she is okay. She just came back and I want her to feel really welcomed and that she can count on my support...…"

"Here…" JJ said to him.

Morgan called her cell phone first. Emily was at home, on the shower now. She usually took the cell phone to the bathroom, but from the shower she could not hear, because she had forgotten to take the cell phone of vibrate mode. So, Morgan called her at home. Emily's husband answered:

"Hello?"

"You must be Emily's husband, I presume…."

"Yes, it's me… she cannot talk right now… what can I do for you…"

"Wait….. your voice sounds so very familiar…"

* * *

**November, 1999, Emily was 29yo:**

It was the first day of Emily Prentiss as a new member of a recent team led by Sean McAllister, at Interpol. Sean was tasked with arranging a team for Interpol, codenamed JTF-12, which consisted also of Clyde Easter, Tsia Mosely, and Jeremy Wolff. The team was specialized with profiling terrorists for Interpol and helping it apprehend them.

The team spent the first month just chasing smaller groups of terrorists in Europe, since the offices of Interpol was in London. That team had been very efficient and they had managed to exterminate several small groups of terrorists already in their first months of existence, around the world.

The most recent one was in Greece. They were still staying there in a hotel. Emily was sharing a room with Tsia, they were just resting in the hotel because the operation had already been finished, but Sean was still dealing with bureaucratic paperwork. Tsia got up to go to the shower, saying to Emily:

"Well, I'm going to take a big shower and get ready for my date tonight..."

"Hmmm, date?" Emily said.

Tsia sat again on the bed, she was really happy, excited, and she said to Emily:

"Yeah! Jeremy…. he asked me out…"

"Wow ,that's... that's great! I noticed a lot of flirting between you two...Congrats!"

"… Thank you… I noticed something between you and Clyde too…" Tsia smiled at Emily.

"Oh, no… you noticed from his part…"

"Don't you feel attracted to him? …Not even a little?"

"Hmmm.. I don't know...He does not inspire confidence in me as he is already on my list of number of unreliable things...…"

"…But people can always change… I think he likes you…for real…"

Emily just smiled at her.

"…I'm going get ready now….And I probably don't come to sleep here this night…Just joking… it is just our first date…" Tsia said, going to the bedroom.

"Well… we never know…" Emily still had time to say, thinking to herself when it was the last time she had kissed someone.

* * *

Later same night, Emily was just reading a good book in her bedroom Hotel, when she heard someone knocking on the door. She opened the door, it was Clyde:

"I wondering if you want to drink a wine with me…In the bar of the Hotel…"

"Hmmm…No, I'm just relaxing… reading a book…"

"C'mon, Em…You can do this later…The book can wait…" He insisted.

"Oh, actually, the book is really interesting…" She pointed, because she was not that much in a mood for a wine.

"Well, I don't think this book is interesting…"

"You don't even know what the book is about! How can you say this? She pointed.

"Never mind…I'm just jealous of it, because it can feel the touch of your hands all the time…"

Emily smiled bitterly, saying:

"I must be out of touch these days…I never heard such a lame attempt …because that was a terrible line!"

"Just a wine, please…or I'm going to use my whole repertoire of cheap lines..."

"Oh no please.. I will go ...I will go..."

She went with him.

* * *

And that was just the first of thousands of cheap lines, among all the others that he said to her for the next few months working together, like he was always saying to her: "Aren't your legs hurting from running to my dreams all night?", "That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.", "Is it hot in here or is it just you?", "Can I have directions? To where? To your heart…"

He was always teasing her all the time, without thinking.

* * *

**Octorber, 2000, In Prague:**

They were in a very dangerous operation and Emily was hostage all alone, with two bad guys. In just two seconds, Clyde ended with them with just two shots, saving her life. Later:

"Thank you! You saved my ass…"

"No need to thank me darling, I did it thinking about myself: how I could live without seeing you every day…"

She smiled at him.

"Thank God that I'm already used to your cheap flirting...…"

He took her hands in his and said:

"It's not just only flirting…..It is much more than that as it is much deeper…"

* * *

**July, 2001**

The Interpol team was working straight, so now, they would finally have a few days out, to rest, the whole team, about one week. Emily was still at the office finishing paper work:

"Hey, What are the plans for the vacation?"

"Hmmm… well, not a pleasurable thing… but I'll have to go, my parents are completing 35 years of marriage, and my mother will give a big reception for all the important political, and high society of the city, and unfortunately I have to go…"

"Is it too bad? I never saw you so discouraged… even when we have to go infiltrate in the worst cases!"

"It's a bummer. In every reception like that, my mother always wants to push me to some single political guy, or some lonely and depressed guy of high society... And she always introduces me like that: 'Emily is still single!' This sucks!"

"I can go with you…" Clyde said without thinking twice.

"What?"

"Yeah… I don't have any plans for vacations and I can go with you, you can say that we are in a serious relationship… and we can have some fun…"

Emily's eyes flashed at him, blinking her big eyelashes. She thought only for a minute and said:

"Really?"

"Yeah… totally…"

She thought for a second now, and said:

"Nah! Your idea is crazy! My mother might expect us to tie the knot and she might want to plan our wedding with the US President marrying us, this idea of yours might backfire on us…"

"Well, I don't have any problems in marrying you…"

She took this as one more of cheap flirting from him.

"Yeah, Okay, I can use this idea, but we are not in any relationship of any kind. Don't count your chickens before the eggs are hatched…"

"Well, Emily, darling, we can start hatching those eggs very soon, if you want to…"

"No, I don't! Thanks!"

* * *

**The night of the party:**

Emily's parents were living in France now. Clyde and Emily traveled to there. Ambassador, Emily's mother had insisted that she stay at her house, a real palace granted by the government of that country. But they preferred to stay in a hotel nearby. It is clear that Clyde wanted only one room for them to stay, but they stayed separated, each one in a bedroom.

The party was in the big banquet hall of the palace, with the red carpet including, every little thing was impeccably perfect. Women of high society dressed in clothes of the most famous European designers and sandals overpriced, and all the men in tuxedos. Emily, well she did not like anything of it. She and Clyde got out of the car that Emily's mother had offered to fetch them at the hotel. She took a deep breath and said to him:

"Well, let's face it…"

He took her hands and said:

"First, I want to say something…"

He looked her up and down and said:

"…You look gorgeous…"

She smiled: "Thank you, you look good yourself too…"

They entered the party, arm in arm, Emily introduced Clyde to her parents, and Ambassador introduced them to all the most important and influential people of the party.

They sat at a beautiful table now, Clyde had his back to the entrance, but their table was far away from the entrance, even so, Emily could see a very famous person entering the place: it was Angelina Jolie, she had been invited, because she was too involved with lots of political organizations of charity too, and they were coincidentally in the country for that day. Emily said to Clyde:

"…You are not going to believe who is entering the party now... my mother always out do herself every day...…"

"Who is it?" Clyde did not look to see, he just asked Emily.

"Angeline Jolie in flesh and bone…"

Emily was expecting to Clyde to turn to see her, but Clyde just drank a little more of his wine. Emily said again, almost whispering:

"Clyde? It's Angelina Jolie! Don't you want to see her?

"Why I would want to see Angelina Jolie, when I have the most wonderful woman in the world right here in front of me…"

He said that, and Emily could notice he was not joking. She smiled sweetly at him. He then approached even more closer to Emily and said:

"You know, Em, you were right… this party is pretty boring, I have an idea: I think we should have sex on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW! Imagine the face of these people here…"

Emily laughed so loud that the Ambassador had to get her attention because her speech was about to begin. They were sitting at the same table.

"Em!" Ambassador said, frowning, angrily.

A little later they decided to stroll around the palace and the huge forest that it had around. It was July, and it was very hot in Europe right now. They were now on a suspension bridge that was over a small pond and trees, just talking:

"It was crazy what you said back there…crazy and funny…" Emily said.

"No, not crazy… Do you want to know what is crazy?

"Tell me…"

"I am going to swim in that lake right now. I'm dying in this heat.…"

"No!. You are not capable…"

"Want to bet?"

"I bet what you want…"

"What I want?"

"Yes…"

Clyde walked down the little bridge, he approached the lake, took off all his clothes and he was only in his underwear now, and Emily was watching that scene from above the bridge, mouth wide open. Clyde entered the lake and started to swim:

"The water is delicious…"

She just smiled at him. He said:

"I win the bet…I want my reward…"

It started raining very strong at that moment. Those typical summer rains. Emily was just standing, letting rainwater falling on her, ruining her hairstyle and make up. A while later she asked him, still from the bridge:

"…And what is your reward?"

"Come here and I tell you…"

She approached the little lake where he was swimming and said to her:

"Come here… and I tell you…"

"Clyde, are you crazy? I don't have another clothes here, I'm going to be soaked…"

"You already are…"

She just took off her sandals and she entered the lake wearing her beautiful red dress. She approached him inside the lake, waiting for him to say:

"You said you bet what I want…"

She bit her lips, they were very close now. He took her beautiful face gently with both his hands, he stared at her mouth for little while in a kind of warning for what he was about to do, to see if she would stop him, but she did nothing, so he kissed her passionately on the mouth.

That night, they went away walking to the hotel where they were staying. And they started to occupy only one bedroom of the hotel for the rest of the week.

* * *

So, that way in July, 2001, they started a relationship, so they were partners at work and in life, and in love.

* * *

**July, 2003:**

Clyde and Emily were already living together and working together. They were together romantically for two years now. Sometimes, they used to spend over than a month separate because of their duties. But, this time, Clyde was in Greece again, to try to get the main weapon dealers of that country, and he was there for over two months now.

She wanted to make a surprise for him, so she traveled to there. She went to the hotel where Sean and Clyde were staying. She got there it was almost midnight, she thought a little strange to meet Sean staring at the door of the bar of the Hotel. It was a very luxurious hotel. She entered the hall of the hotel, and she walked to Sean.

Sean was startled when he saw her there. The last person he wanted to meet there now was she. Emily was happy because she was going to see Clyde, but she was surprised by Sean's reaction to seeing her. She hugged him, and was just wondering:

"What?"

"Emily...you should not be here...We are in the middle of an operation right now…"

Before Sean could explain something to her, she looked into the bar behind the red curtains and saw that Clyde was in a passionate kisses with a sexy blonde. She said:

"What the hell…"

Sean just held her arm strongly, saying:

"Emily, look, this is nothing, that woman is the former lover of our main guy here that we are looking for, she has important information about his whereabouts…. we need to get all the information from her...…"

"OH! REALLY! Why the fuck aren't you doing it?"

"Oh, please, Emily, we worked so hard to get to this point…"

"Yeah! I can see how very hard he is working right now! He is very hard I am sure from an erection with that bitch. He is almost fucking her on that sofa! I'm flying back home..."

* * *

Emily returned to her house, the flat she shared with Clyde in London, with another heartbreak in her account. She arrived back in London, and she took all his clothes from the closet, leaving all his personal things scattered on the floor, in a corner of the living room.

Sean had not said to Clyde that Emily have been there, because he did not want to change his focus of important investigation they were participating now. It took twenty more days to be able to exterminate this group. They were returning to London now. Only on the plane, Sean told Clyde that Emily had saw the kiss. Clyde now was sure about why Emily was not answering his phone calls.

* * *

He came home and saw all his things scattered on the floor, belongings, clothes, shoes, everything. He looked at it all and he went to the bedroom to talk to her:

"Why the hell you did that?"

"I don't want to see your face ever again! Go fuck yourself in another place!"

"Emily, listen to me… that was the most important case, the guy, the leader of the gang was the most wanted of that country… do you have any idea how big is this?"

"How many times you had to make the sacrifice to fuck her to get this, huh?"

"Emily, this is part of the work… you should already understand that…"

"So, you are saying it happens all the time? No matter how big is the case, Clyde! What makes your big stupid ego think I would forgive you for this and be okay with this? WE ARE DONE, CLYDE! From now on we just work together….. nothing more….and our relationship is strictly professional!" She was screaming now.

"Emily, please..."

"No! You did it behind my back! If I never had gone there, I would have never known. How dare you?! I will never forgive you...GET OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!..."

He realized that she was too nervous to talk. Then, he went away without taking anything.

* * *

For the next two months, he tried too hard to get back together to her. He tried to reconquer her, but Emily Prentiss was a tough cookie. She did not budge. They were talking only professional things now, and he was suffering a lot too, and Emily was experimenting the bitter taste of a heartbroken again on her mouth.

* * *

**September, 2003.**

Sean got the news that his team would have find and arrest Ian Doyle. He was now passing this information to the rest of the team, Jeremy, Tsia, Emily and Clyde. They were having this meeting. After Sean had said absolutely all the information about that big operation, he said:

"I asked to Interpol send us a woman who is expert in disguise in order to conquer him, I think we have a chance to get him using this since he is too weak to women, he collects women, his sexual lovers list is extensive…"

"I can do it..." Emily Said.

They all acted as if they had not heard correctly. Emily insisted:

"I can do it, Sean…You trust me with this?"

"Of course I trust you, Emily, but it is not a matter of trust only. He is very dangerous person… and, you'll have to get involved with him…live with him…"

"I am completely okay with this…"

"Sean, she does not know what she is talking about…" Clyde said.

Emily just looked at him, saying:

"Speak for yourself!"

She looked at Sean and said:

"If you trust me with this, I'm in…"

After all agreed, everybody was out of the meeting room, Emily said to Clyde, very close to his face:

"Aren't you the one that always said we have to do anything we can for an important case…. and this is one, for sure… and your actions in the past proved this point, so I am doing the same now…"

He only did those facial expressions: 'okay, you're paying me back. That's all cheap revenge', but he said nothing. He was pissed off.

* * *

**From October, 2003 to September, 2004**, Emily was undercover getting all the information from Ian. She did not see or talk to Clyde during all this time, and she barely talked to Sean, only to pass the information she was getting.

* * *

**September, 2004:**

Emily was caught from the village in Tuscany, and Ian Doyle was arrested. Emily was taken to a hotel in the city, and then, immediately back to London. They would have to fake her death in a car accident. She was at her home now under vigilance and protection. Sean had sent Clyde to stay with her all the time. It was exactly one year they did not see each other now.

"You did great, Emily! I'm glad you are safe now...I was very pissed when you offered yourself to do this, really, I suffered like hell in a way I cannot put in words imagining his hands on your body… it was torture for me…"

"Clyde, please… not now…"

* * *

**Ten days later:**

Clyde was visiting Emily, she had not get back to work again. She had already told Sean she would not come back, but Clyde did not know this. They were talking about the operation, but he realized how different she was, more introspective, a certain mystery in her eyes, a cold way of acting. Almost a year pretending things and pretending be someone she was not, it must have messed a lot with her. He was thinking, then, he said:

"Emily, I never forgot you… I know it is still too soon for this…but let's try again…There was not even a day that I did not think about you…I miss you like hell…Please….just give me another chance... You wanted to pay me back and you did, it hurt a lot but you did it so we are even now..."

She was looking at him when he was talking, but her look was cold and distant. She was almost motionless. She said, then:

"Clyde, I… I can't…" She was about to explode in angst.

He was staring at her face now, at her eyes. Her eyes were so very clear for him. She repeated:

"I can't…"

He frowned a little and almost whispering, he asserted:

"You fell in love with him, didn't you…"

"Clyde, I don't know… I am so confused right now…I really wanted to get him because he is such a dangerous man that had to be stopped. I really was acting and put my heart into this work that I did not expect my heart to fail me here…. I did not expect that. During the time I spent there I could see another part of him interacting with people and I could feel he is totally capable of love, not just for me, but strongly love for other people too…"

She was talking about Declan, but she could not say to anyone anything about the boy. She had already sent Declan and his nanny to her friend to take care of them in America. She kept saying to Clyde:

"…I saw a totally different side to Ian… I don't know what to say right now… I don't know what to think… I almost don't know who I am anymore…and I do not know if one day someone will be able to fill this huge void that formed inside of me when I had to deliver him to the police..."

Clyde looked down, he was very sad now hearing all this. Emily said to him:

"Just give me some time…"

He gave her a tight hug, and left her home.

* * *

Few days later, at Interpol office:

Sean, Tsia, Jeremy and Clyde were at meeting room for another case. Clyde asked:

"Emily was not supposed to come back to work today?"

"She… she quit, Clyde… She went back to America…"

Well that's why Clyde always says she is good at running away

* * *

**End of the flashback.**

Morgan was on the phone with Emily's husband:

"Wait….. your voice sounds so very familiar…"

Emily appeared on the room, wiping her hair with a towel, wearing a bathrobe, saying:

"Who is it?"

Her husband handed the phone to her, saying:

"It's for you…"

"Hello?"

"Emily! I cannot believe you are married to Easter! I asked you if you were coming back to London because of him and you said no…Now you come back and bring him as your husband!"

Clyde was there near her, so she only said to Morgan:

"Derek, I'm not at work right now. Can we talk about this case tomorrow, please?"

"Okay….I…. I'm totally sorry for my reaction… I'm sorry bothering you… I just wanted to know if you are okay…"

"Okay, Derek, we talk tomorrow then, or when the team comes back…"

"Okay…"

"What did he want? He seemed so upset…" Clyde asked.

* * *

**Well, Emily is trying to deny to herself how much she missed Morgan when she was living in London, and how this feeling got intensified when she looked at him again. But will our queen of compartmentalization Emily be able to hide her true feelings about Morgan from her husband... Stay tuned folks to see how this plays out and please give me your thoughts and ideas in review comments… Thank you, again!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well… I have to share this here too with you guys. Finally I got my tweet from my role model Paget! I'm a very happy!**

* * *

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Morgan was on the phone with Emily's husband:

"Wait….. your voice sounds very familiar…"

Emily appeared in the room, wiping her hair with a towel, wearing a bathrobe, saying:

"Who is it?"

Her husband handed the phone to her.

"Emily! I can't believe you are married to Easter! I asked you if you were coming back to London because of him and you said 'no'! Now you come back and bring him as your husband!?"

Clyde was there near her, so she only said to Morgan:

"Derek, I'm not at work right now. Can we talk about this case tomorrow, please?"

"Okay, okay…I'm sorry for my reaction… I'm sorry for bothering you… I just wanted to know if you're okay…"

"Okay, Derek, we'll talk tomorrow then, or when the team comes back…"

"Okay…"

They hung up the phone.

"What did he want? He seemed so upset…" Clyde asked.

"It's… about work…"

"He should talk to Hotchner then, and not call you at home…"

"Clyde, please, don't do this… You already knew this would happen when we chose to come back to America… You already knew this kind of work consumes us all the time and I never have the correct schedule to follow… So, please, save us from unnecessary arguments…"

She went back to the bedroom.

"Yeah… the blame is all me…" He whispered to himself.

But she could still hear it, so she asked:

"What did you say?"

"Nothing…"

* * *

Later that night, they were already in bed. Clyde had not been able to perform as a husband in sex issues for six months now because of his health complications, but Emily was okay with that fact, especially now that she had seen Morgan, and all the feelings that she had denied before. She had thought it was only something from her mind, but now it was confirmed. Although Clyde always tried to give her some pleasure using his hands, but it was in the beginning because she felt really uncomfortable and it was an embarrassing situation for both of them, so for the last four months she had been refusing him every time he tried.

…Especially because of situations like this happening all the time:

In the middle of the night, around three in the morning, Clyde wakes Emily:

"Em, hey…"

"Hmm?" She answers before opening her eyes.

"I'm sorry to wake you again…I forgot my bedpan…"

"Oh… okay… okay… I got it…"

"I'm sorry again, but I can't wait until morning…"

Before getting out of bed, she said to him:

"Clyde, please, ask me anytime you need… We've already talked about this before so many times..."

Emily brought the bedpan for him. She waited for him to urinate inside it. It took a while because he could only move his left arm.

"Do you need help?" She asked gently.

"No… Thank you…"

Well, this kind of thing used to happen all the time now in their marriage. So the little of passion that one day she could still feel for him was totally killed now. Situations like this can happen to married couples, but when it comes to real and deep love, everything could be faced and overcome with the love, but this was not the case for them, at least, not from her part.

* * *

Two days after this, around seven PM, the team came back from the case. Emily was waiting to talk to Hotch, and the rest of the team was working on paper work.

Hotch ended talking with Emily about the case, and he dismissed the team to go home to rest and finish the paperwork the next day. Emily was at her desk now, finishing paperwork and she was kind waiting for the rest of team, more specifically Morgan, to go home. When she realized she was alone there, she decided to go home.

She got the elevator to the internal underground parking. As soon as the elevator door opened, she saw him. Morgan was leaning against her car, waiting for her. She took a deep breath and walked up to him.

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"I'm waiting here because I know you would not want to talk in your office…"

"There are lots of cameras here too, Derek…"

"We are just two colleagues, right… so I assume we can talk to each other…"

"Yeah… we are just two colleagues…" she said in a sadly way while she was working to open the car door.

"C'mon, Emily… Easter?" He asked, frowning.

She could feel a certain desperation in his voice. She looked at him, blinking her big eyelashes.

"I gave all the space you needed when you left, but I never thought even in my worst nightmare that this could happen…"

"It's a long story, Derek…"

"So, you confirm you two had a thing in the past…"

"Do you really want to have this conversation here, in the BAU parking lot?

"We can have this conversation wherever you want, Emily, but I need to know everything…"

As if she could put away that feeling of anguish just trying to keep him away, she started to get in the car, but gave up, staring at him again.

"Why do you even care?" She asked with a shrug.

He approached her.

"Why do I care? You've been avoiding looking me in the eyes, so, look into my eyes now…" he said almost in a whisper, staring into her eyes.

She looked into his eyes for a long time and nothing needed to be said now.

"Can't you see?"

"Derek…I think we shouldn't even have this conversation…I believe things have a correct timing to happen and when this time pass we don't know how to get back to that point…"

"Oh, please, Emily… It's me, Derek! Are you happy in this marriage? Do you love him?"

Emily didn't know how to answer to this. She could not even look Derek in the eyes. Derek knew already the answer by her look on her face and her behavior. He was a profiler after all.

"I am asking you this because that is all I want: your happiness, Emily… and I don't see anything close to happiness in your eyes…"

"There are lots of other things happening, Derek…"

"So, let's talk... please…"

Emily was in a hurry to leave, it was nine pm. She was supposed to be at home already. So, she said:

"Okay, Derek… we can have this conversation, but not now, not here… I need to go home…"

Before entering her car, she said:

"We can meet on Saturday afternoon, if you're free…"

He was supporting part of the weight of her body with his hand resting on her car.

"Okay…" He said to her.

She made a huge effort to look at him again, and say:

"Bye…"

He just nodded to her, and she got into her car. She quickly started the it. She wanted to leave from there, and Morgan was a gentleman, of course he would wait for her to go first, before getting into his car. Emily went quickly away from the parking lot. She drove a block or two, and turned the car in a street somewhere. She parked the car and let all the anguish she was feeling flow, through tears, many tears, with both hands holding the steering wheel. She cried for a while, thinking that she always had the control of her life in her hands, when it came to everything, but the feeling for Morgan now seemed annoyingly much stronger than before. The edge of the uncontrollable, and she would not even want to see the battle that was forming right in front of her now in the next few months.

A little calmer, she looked at the thousands of buttons on the dashboard of her car, and wished it could have a button called 'compartmentalization'. It seemed that she was losing this ability. After a little while, she went home.

Morgan, meanwhile, was having a very bad and difficult time to digest the fact that his colleague Emily Prentiss was married. Married! He still wondered why the hell it was bothering him this much. Of course, he would not ask himself. Deep, deep down he knew it was love. Love! But He was not ready yet to assume it even for himself.

* * *

At home, Emily opened the door of her house and she felt a pleasant smell of food coming from the kitchen. She went to the kitchen and said to her husband:

"Are you cooking?"

"You were taking too long, so I imagined how busy you must have been and I wanted to do a surprise: macaroni and cheese… your favorite…"

She smiled at him. She approached him and lowered to kiss him on the lips, saying:

"Thank you… By the smell, it seems delicious…"

"I hope it is. It's good to know I'm not too useless…"

She looked at him in the eyes, caressing him on the face, and said:

"You are not useless…"

They dined and talked normally as just another ordinary day. Emily denied the whirlwind of emotions that was forming inside her, and Clyde was fine with just pretending he didn't notice anything for a little while. Then he asked:

"You seem a little restless, something you want to share?"

"Hmmm… no… I'm normal…"

"Okay, first two weeks here in America, we bought the house, and the things. We put everything in the right place, we made plans too…We watched movies and talked a lot, and now, three days into work you seem like a totally different person…It must be something wrong…"

"There's nothing wrong, Clyde…"

"Emily, every time I ask you about work and what's wrong, you close up like a book. You can tell me anything. Something is upsetting you and I know it's more than work. If you can't tell me, your husband, then who can you tell this to? Please tell me what is troubling you, so I can start helping you. I know something is bothering you and I'm guessing it's about work or something much deeper. You can tell me anything, anytime, no matter what it is. I will try to help you…"

"Right, it is about work. You know the pressure of being the boss. You know it first hand, the pressure that falls on you. Plus there are adjustments of coming back to America after over a year being away from here. It's like I'm a little lost and disconnected. This period of adjustment and the pressure that fall upon me is a little overwhelming right now, but I know I will be okay in time. I do not want to talk about work anymore right now. We are home now and I just want to relax even for a second. Don't think about work right now, please…can we do that please?"

* * *

Later that night, they were in bed.

Clyde wanted to try to give some kind of pleasure for her, even if using only a hand to do it. He was running his hand down her body, but before he could reach the most intimate parts, she stopped him, saying:

"Oh, no, don't…"

He looked at her, disappointed.

"Emily, it's been so long..."

"You don't have to do this…"

"I want to…please…"

"No, no…... I'm sorry…"

"Emily, why do you not want me to pleasure you? We both need this! We are husband and wife and we are only sleeping together….literally. Is there a reason why you do not want me to touch you? It feels like my touch disgusts you... Have we reached this point that we are now both strangers even though we know each other for over a decade…"

"Clyde, it is not you… because I am thinking of you as well. You need your rest to get all your strength back… and you need to preserve all your energy as all your nerves are weak... Any excess movements may cause more pain for you and I do not want to see any more pain for you…"

Then, Emily turned her backs to him in bed. It was a big lie what she just said, and he pretended that he believed in her. It was the smartest decision for now.

* * *

Friday night, the team had returned from another case. Emily was still in her office. Morgan waited for Hotch to come out of there, before going into her office to talk to her:

"Well, it seems like we have a free weekend ahead…"

"Yeah, I brought some luck to you. For now, you're off tomorrow…" She said smiling at him

Thank you, boss.

She smiled a little at him again.

"So, can I wait for you tomorrow?"

Her smile faltered and she look at him. He said:

"Our talk…"

"Okay… our talk… I think we should do it in privacy… I'm going to your place after noon…"

"Okay, I'll be waiting…"

He left the place and she just looked at him leaving.

* * *

Emily finished dealing with the dirty dishes from lunch on that Saturday. Of course she didn't like lying to him, but she could never tell him that she was going to meet Derek Morgan. He would never understand that it was just for a talk. Men do not understand these things, ever. They just don't understand.

"I need to leave soon. I have some things to sort out…" she said.

"And I'm not supposed to ask what are those 'things'?"

"Women stuff Clyde. Nails, hair and I want to go to the mall…I need some space… just for me… are you okay with this?"

"Sure…"

* * *

Emily parked her car in front of Derek's house. She was not sure what she was doing there. She was totally torn between her heart and her mind.

She looked at the house, and she thought: well I'm here now, so I'll enter. She rang the bell and waited. She heard a sound coming from inside, loud music, which suddenly disappeared. Well, he must have heard the doorbell.

Morgan was exercising in his private gym. He was wearing shorts and no shirt. Through the curtain, he could see that it was Emily. He opened the door for her, shirtless.

"Hi…" She said.

"Hi, Emily… come on in. I'm sorry, I was working out.!I will take a quick shower now, so we can talk. I'm sweaty…Feel at home, please…"

"Okay…Thank you…"

As soon as he left the living room, she thought: wow! There should be a law to ban men with this body type walking around without a t-shirt, or better: there should be a law to forbid men to have this body type. wow!

* * *

After no more than ten minutes, he returned, wearing white shorts, and a light blue shirt, and a delicious scent. She could still feel the smell of soap on his skin when he approached to kiss her on the cheek, saying:

"I can kiss my boss, right?" Smiling charmingly at her.

She had no alternative but to smile back at him.

"Well you can't kiss me at work, but I see nothing wrong with a peck on the cheek when we're not there…"

"Okay…" He said.

But instead of kissing her, he approached her. She looked him in the eye, a little frightened by the proximity of their bodies, and about what would be his next move, but he just held her in a hug, a big and long hug, showing how much he had missed her. She closed her eyes and just hugged him back. He whispered to her:

"I've missed you! Welcome back…"

Derek Morgan was one of those guys who knew perfectly how to handle a woman; adding to this the fact that he was in love with her. Damn! He was in love with her! It was love! He was just too stubborn to admit it, but he was close to reaching this point to admit it for himself and also for her.

Emily also had her personal struggle to cope, holding herself tightly to fight this strong feeling right now that she couldn't loose her mind and let be lead by the heart. She had to control herself all the time.

He finally let go of her.

"I've missed you too, Derek…" she said.

"Have a seat… Do you want to drink something, eat?"

"No, thank you… I just had lunch… at…home…"

"Hmmm… okay…"

They were sitting on the sofa. The silence started to bother them. Derek said, looking at her:

"Could we just skip the part that you're married to Easter and pretend this isn't true…"

She raised her eyebrows, sighed, and said:

"No, because, that is exactly what we need to talk about…"

"So, tell me, how did you end up in the arms of that wolf?"

"I am going to tell you the whole thing, okay… because when you found out everything about Doyle, I knew how angry you got, and I don't blame you at all. So, I'm not going to hide anything from you now. I've known Clyde for many, many years before I started at the BAU. We worked together at Interpol, in London, and we had a relationship, but then he betrayed me, and he was doing it for a case. When I surprised him, this hurt me deeply because we were supposed to be in love with each other. We broke up, and after two months or so a new case came up that we had to trap a dangerous terrorist, Ian Doyle, as you know, and I offered myself for this case, and I did the same thing that Clyde did. That broke us up for good in the first place, to get back at him, but the shocking thing is I fell in love with this terrorist. After this all happened I lost myself as I did not know myself anymore, and this caused me to go to America, where I went to the BAU. Then Doyle came back after me for revenge for what I did to him and I had to fake my death as you know, and when I came back from the dead, I lost myself again and didn't fit in anymore. It was the same feeling I had after I trapped Doyle. Then I decided to accept Clyde's offer to lead an Interpol office and I missed you and everyone here at the BAU so much that Clyde and I became friends again, and some of the feelings and memories came rushing back. I don't think it was total love like it was when we first started out, but I was alone, Derek. I was totally alone there like I've been my whole life. Clyde asked me out, I accepted and things ended up happening and I really believe he loves me. He makes me feel loved again which I didn't feel for many years that I stayed here in America. He proposed and it was just as simple as I am telling you… Do you remember when you and Penelope went with me to London about a year ago? Help me with the move?"

Morgan nodded.

"Do you remember me telling you that sometimes I just wanted to get marry and have babies… a family…"

Morgan looked down now, as if he was blaming himself, saying:

"Yes…"

"That was it, Derek. I think this feeling, along with my hormones were screaming inside me. I'm a woman, after all and I stayed during six years at the BAU, dating nothing else than my pillow and a cat…"

"So you just throw yourself into his arms, just because he was there waiting for you…"

"When I was working on my last case here, the Diamond Queen, when the bank exploded, and I had to call him to get some information... I knew when he asked me, if I don't miss this… I knew he was talking about me and him… I'm a woman, Derek, and women sometimes just need to feel loved…"

"It was not love what I felt or feel for him, but it was a big friendship and I feel completely safe next to him… physically and emotionally… he saved my life so many times during all the times we worked together for so many years… The perfect thing is to be with someone we really are in love, but where was this person in my life at that point?"

Morgan looked her in the eyes, hating and blaming himself right now. Completely encased in her speech now, he said:

"What made you come back to America?"

"Well… we, the team I was leading, had trapped a big organization of white-collar crime. Everyone went to jail, but they had ordered my death. They surrounded me in Interpol, and they shot me. Clyde stood in front of me; he put himself purposely in front of me to protect me, and he took all the bullets for me. Then they fled, the police came and it had formed an uproar… in fact: he saved my life again! …And in a way that almost cost his own…"

Morgan was looking at her now. She continued speaking:

"He is completely paralyzed now in a wheelchair... The shots hit the spinal cord, so it affected a big part of the movements of his body. He can only move his head and his left arm. He can't feel the entire right side of his body. He feels will get back to doing physical therapy again. I'm working on this now and I could no longer continue at Interpol, needing to travel all the time… Somehow or another, here in DC I feel at home and this offer of employment to replace Strauss came at the perfect time for me. We talked and we decided it would be best to be here now… Breaks my heart to see him that way… I feel guilty because I saw that he didn't think even for a second before putting himself in front of the gun for me… He did it for me, not knowing if he would survive…Clyde saved my life, and I felt I owed him a lot even though I do not think I'm in love with him anymore…"

She had tears forming in her eyes.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for everything, Emily…"

He held her hands. Little by little he hugged her and she was crying in his chest. After a little while, he looked at her in eyes again and asked:

"Emily… how could you never ever have seen?" He asked almost whispering.

"Seen what?"

"My feelings…Emily…"

"How could I ever imagine that all your flirting could mean something serious, Derek…"

"I'm not talking about my flirting… I'm talking about the way I always looked at you. I'm talking about how I much I always treated you with love. I don't believe you never felt it…"

She was just staring at him, while he spoke. He continued saying:

"You never wondered why the hell in those seven years in the BAU you've known me, I've also never had anyone? And this year you went away, I also never had anyone…Have you ever wondered why?"

She got up from the couch now, saying:

"Whatever the reason is, Derek, it's too late now…"

Derek got up quickly too and held her gently by her arms saying:

"NO! I'm really sorry about the Easter situation and everything, but I'm not losing you again… You know now how I really feel about you. The million dollar question is how do you truly feel about me?"

* * *

**Now that Emily had shared everything about her reasons of marrying Clyde and the history there with Derek, what would she tell Derek? Will she confess her love for him after Derek just confess his love for her pouring his heart out to her or will she keep it in for now. Please, stay on this channel to find out and please, comment! Comment! And let me know what you think and what you would like to see. I would do my very best but I can't do anything if I don't know how you all feel and want to see here… Thank you so much for all the support.**


	5. Chapter 5

**First of all, thank you so much everybody for the sweets comments. I really apreaciate it!**

**I own nothing**

* * *

She got up from the couch now, saying:

"Whatever the reason is, Derek, it's too late for us now…"

Derek got up quickly from the sofa too, and held her gently by her arms saying:

"No! Emily, Look, I am really sorry about Easter situation and everything… but I'm not losing you again… You already know now how I really feel about you… The million dollar question is how do you truly feel about me?"

"….You are my friend… I care about you….. you are important to me, somehow, yes…. I love you…"

"…like you love Hotch, or Reid, or Rossi… Is that what you were going to say?"

"Whatever….. Derek…. this talk has no meaning now…I'm a married woman! My life now is by my husband's side…..now and forever, I will never be able to leave him…"

"Okay… look at me….look here inside my eyes….."

Derek was holding her but her arms almost forcing her really look at him, since she was avoiding it since she got there.

"Are you happy with him?... Just answer me and if I see any sincerity in your eyes, I will never ever bother you again…"

The tone of her voice was a little loud now, as she was becoming too nervous and agitated:

"This does not matter, Derek! If I'm happy or not! That is not the point! I have to be with him! I have to take care of him…. now and forever. I **owe** my life to him! Do you understand that? Do you have any idea what this means?"

"You can be grateful to him… for the rest of your life… but you should not have to be forced to be with him without love because I bet even he does not want this.…"

"Well, now it is too late, Derek. Clyde and I always had this kind of relationship as his love for me always been enough for both of us…"

"This must be a joke…" Morgan spat out incredulously.

"Joke, Derek? Why did you not just stopped me… when I was about to leave to London only a year ago?"

"What? So, this is my fault?"

"No, Derek, this is not anyone's fault… It is just that if you had only said something before I went back to London…maybe we would have had our chance…"

"How could I know? That you had…. Feelings for me…"

"Oh, C'mon, Derek… I refuse to believe that you cannot see an inch in front of your nose…"

"…..I… just….. supposed….. that… you… needed….. some…. space…"

He said very slowly, more like a sad late statement on his part, as if he had perhaps had committed the fatal mistake of his entire life, which he would regret to death. He looked up, into a kind of despair, he frowned, and you could tell he was fighting back tears.

At the moment, she looked at him in the eyes. She could see he was being totally honest. He said to her now, very slowly really meaning every single word:

"I love you since the first moment I saw you….. okay… I confess: first, it was because you are so sexy and gorgeous… that I just could not help be around you and do not dream about you … in all kinds of dreams….but then… day by day, month by month, year by year… I found a really kind, sweet, intelligent and funny woman… and I started to deny it… because we worked together, besides, let's be honest here: you never showed anything… you hid it very well… or I was so blind in love that I could not see anything… during all those years that we've been working together, I never had any kind of serious relationship… and I know you never did too… Don't you think it is pretty clear here that deep down we both knew that we were waiting for each other and our perfect timing…"

"Maybe…"

"Why, then? Why did you have to go to his arms?"

"Because…. I …. just… I was so tired to be alone… I've always been strong and powerful woman, but I was emotionally destroyed when I left here… feeling alone… it could be my mistake but now… the situation is this…" She was crying now.

"You hurt me so bad saying that you were going back to Interpol… to Easter…" He was kind of crying too.

Wiping her tears with her hands, she said:

"Derek… like I said… this conversation will lead us to anywhere…"

"So, you came here to do what?" He was really sad.

"Because I don't want any kind of tension between us, as just like I don't want any kind of flirts or jokes, because I am married now, and things cannot be the way they are before…I want to make clear that we have two big barriers that prevent us from being together in any way: the first is that I am married, and the second is that we work together again, with the aggravation that I'm your boss.…"

His tone of voice was calm and sad now, speaking almost whispering:

"Okay… you are right…. I will accept this crap of situation as my bad… because I could not read you properly when you left for London, last year, but, there is something that you cannot take away from me, Emily… that is how much I care about you, how much I love you… and you as well cannot pretend that we did not live all the things that we've lived together…and you cannot take from me that I will always consider that there is a chance for us, for both of us... for our love, because it would be a torture for me ... Do not close the doors ... Do not try to heal me from you ...because I don't want this… and let's just wait for tomorrow to bring what it has for us… I know we'll be together ..."

He took her hands on his', and kissed her fingers one by one, saying between the kisses:

"I know, Emily…I know that we cannot be together right now, and I don't know when we are going to be able to be together… I respect that, but we cannot deny the feeling that we feel for each other…"

He placed her hand on his chest.

"I want you to know that I would never do anything to hurt you or to harm you in your marriage or at work… because I love you (he emphasized the I love you), with all the meaning of these words…and the last thing that I want it is bring any kind of pain for you…"

He still was holding her hand. She said:

"I love you too…. Derek…"

She just confessed and they were just looking each other in the eyes. Morgan felt a pinched in his heart. He was not expecting she would confess although it was stamped on face and in her behavior. She continued saying:

"…but I feel so guilty only for being here talking to you… because it seems so wrong…"

"We are not doing anything wrong, Emily… and it is not our fault what we feel for each other… it's love, in the most pure sense of the word... even if we cannot stay together to each other right now, even if we cannot touch each other right now, our hearts are connected. The important thing is that we will be committed, if not to each other right, but will our feeling…"

"I cannot promise you anything… I cannot stop you to live a real love with someone else knowing that maybe we can never be together!"

"That choice is mine, Emily, and I will wait for you… you can be sure of it…because that is my only chance to find happiness in love…"

He caressed her on her face, and hugged her tight, very long hug. They closed their eyes just to feel each other presence now.

While hugging her, he said:

"Do you feel how our connection was instantaneous as soon as we looked at each other? We cannot deny, Emily…"

"But I cannot promise you anything, Derek! Anything…"

"I know…"

She broke the hug now, saying:

"Well… I have to go now…" She said, whispering, almost in a sort kind of pain.

It was that big sensation of wanting to stay there with him, on her part, with the same intensity that he really wanted her to stay. It was a pain. They say that the worst pain is love that cannot be lived, because for all other kinds of pain, there is a kind medicine for this, but not for love. Really feeling that pain, they were apart now. It was as if she was escaping between his fingers again, and he had to let her go, again.

Before she could go, Derek kissed all her fingers, tenderly, again saying:

"I am doing this because it is the maximum I can do now to feel your taste…I just wanted to taste a little bit of you since, I cannot have all of you... Even if you cannot promise yourself to me, I can wait for an eternity. I could never be in a relationship with any other woman, because it will be totally unfair to that woman, because I could never love anyone except you, it would be totally unfair because I would always compare her to you, and no one can hold a candle to you in this entire universe. I really hope that we can have a chance, but I will never pressure you…"

"Derek, you are making it so hard for me to leave right now…"

He held her face now, with his hand, placing his thumb on her mouth that was a little opened. Well, now, she had only two choices, let herself jump into Morgan's dream and hers as well, and let him kiss her deeply, or run away. She chose the second without thinking, saying this while she was running towards the door to exit::

"I have to go…"

* * *

She drove all the way back home crying, just letting the tears to flow. She was not worried about red or swollen eyes, she needed to vent, dammit!

As soon as she left, Derek punched and punched the walls, he had several punching bags in his private gym, but he really needed to punch walls now.

Emily was back home about 6pm. Clyde was there just watching TV as always.

"Hey…"

"Hmmm… your hair and nails look the same to me … and no shopping bags… what happened?"

"The hairdresser was running behind… and very busy that I had to reschedule, so I went shopping not to waste this trip, shopping close to the hairdresser… I did not buy anything mostly looking around but I treated myself to coffee and snacks…"

"Well, Emily it looked like you had fun… but if that is the case what is bothering you….something is not right…. I can feel it and see it in your behavior that something is definitely wrong… You want to tell me what it is?"

"Me?"

"Emily… If a high voltage wire comes in here at home, the environment would not be as tense as when you entered…"

She was feeling really guilty lying to him now and she could not even face him or look at him. Of course he noticed her agitation. She sat on the sofa next to his wheelchair and said, facing him now and there was a crying tone in her voice:

"Clyde, there is nothing wrong….. okay….. you said you feel something is wrong….. Hell….. yes! There is! I was thinking….. this is so unfair the condition you are in now…. And this is all my fault…. because of me! ….and I want so badly to do something for you that you don't have to live like this anymore….. but there is nothing I can do! Can you imagine the weight that I have on my backs now…. And you are going to say that is not my fault… when I know it is! And there is nothing I can do about it! It consumes my soul… day by day that I see you in this condition…"

"Emily ...when I said that I would do it for you again and again and again and how many times it takes and needs...it is the truth...… but keep in mind that you don't have to be with me because of this… because of my condition… I love you so much to let you go… and be happy… if it is that what you want… and if it is hurting you so bad seeing me that way… well… you can leave me…."

"No, you don't understand … I will never leave you… but it hurts me seeing you that way because of me when you used to be so active…"

"Are you sure it is only because of this?"

"Only?" She asked, frowning.

"Emily…. Lots of people in the whole world live a normal life that way… in a wheelchair… and we both know now a days… with advances in technology, all the public spaces are suitable for wheelchair users, and I'm adapting in the best possible way, in a way that I never imagined that I could adapt… So, what is this really about? I am not stupid…"

She recovered all the serenity in voice and behavior, and said:

"Yes, you're right. Maybe I'm overreacting…"

"…..many people in your same condition have lived fulfilled and happy lives and I want to make sure you fulfill that and get that too…"

"Right!" He said.

"I'm going to take a shower and prepare our dinner…. Okay…" She said and she went to the bathroom. In the shower, well, she could not stop thinking about Morgan, of course.

* * *

At night, in bed, they were about to sleep, Emily said to him:

"Clyde…"

He looked at her. She turned so she could be in front of him. She said:

"Kiss me…..please…" She whispered to him.

He approached her on the bed, the maximum he could, and kissed her on the lips, and she opened her mouth wider for him to deepen the kiss, and they kissed passionately as they did not do it for a long time. She wanted to see if she could erase Morgan from her mind, she seemed to want to swallow Clyde's mouth but no way her heart was into it, not even a little.

The more she wanted to sweep Morgan out of her mind, his smell, his touch on her hands, the hug, all his words… all of this hit her so hard that she almost thought that she was with him at that time, and she hardly realized that Clyde had his hand in places on her body that she did not want to now. Then, she turned back to herself in time to stop him.

"Don't….don't …. just… be here with me… okay…it's all that I need now…"

"Well… I'm not going anywhere…"

They slept hugged that night.

* * *

**Three months later.**

Emily and Derek were just acting professionally when they saw each other at BAU. But there was always a strong tension between them, so strong that sometimes it seemed that every other profilers were also feeling. Well, maybe they were but no one commented anything.

Both Emily and Derek hearts were feeling like there was a hole in their hearts, growing day by day. Each day they were away from each other that deep hole in their hearts was getting deep and deeper that the ache that they had for each other was totally unbearable for the both of them.

It seemed that if they did not get together soon even for just one kiss, they might explode into total heartbreak and not be able to keep their sanities anymore. The pretending and denying the feelings they had for each other was just too much for them to pretend anymore, but for now they were suffering in complete silence and working together was making this task even more difficult.

It was so difficult for the both of them at the BAU. It was bad enough they had to see each other all the time there, but they were several times when they accidentally bumped into each other in the hallways, that brief touch of their bodies meeting the other body for a brief second made them hungry for the real meeting of their bodies, but it was much more than sex for them, as it is the meeting and joining of their souls that they have been joined for a long time already.

There were times at the BAU when papers fell to the floor and both went to get it and their hands joined getting the same paper, and always ended with a cold: 'thank you', and a very brief meeting of their eyes. All these things happening making them both additionally crazy for each other.

At home, Clyde was doing physical therapy every day. They had hired a specialized team to pick him up at home and take to the physiotherapy center, so he could use all the modern equipments.

* * *

It was a Friday, late afternoon in the BAU, the team was coming from another case. Emily was still in her office, behind closed doors, when he heard someone knocking on the door. Her heart became restless only considering the possibility of it being Morgan. After thinking for just a second, she said:

"Come in…"

It was JJ, who opened the door gently, putting only her face into Emily's office, asking:

"Do you have a minute?"

"Sure, come in…" Emily smiled with relief.

Emily stood up and walked over where JJ was, kissing her on the cheek.

"…As you know, tomorrow is my birthday and Willl and I …decided to make dinner at home for a party.… and I really wanted you to come… I'm sorry that I am only asking you now last minute.… but we did not know if we would have a case, and I would be at home… and now… since Hotch gave us the weekend off… I just decided… and you can bring Clyde too…"

"Oh… That's great, JJ! Thank you… I just don't know if he'll want to go… but I'm going to talk to him…"

"…But I can count on you, right?..." JJ asked, almost saying in an implicit way: there are no excuses for you to not come.

"Yeah…" Emily said, like there is no way I can disappoint my dear friend.

"Okay, great! The address is still the same and at 7pm. I'll be waiting…"

"Okay…"

JJ left the office, Emily closed the door and leaned on it from the inside, thinking:

"Great! If it is not bad enough that I have to see Morgan here...on week days, I'm going to have to see him on weekends too…"

* * *

That night, at home, Clyde and Emily were having dinner. She said:

"It's JJ's birthday tomorrow…"

"…and?"

"She… she will make a special dinner for the occasion and she invited us…"

"Hmmm… good…." Clyde limited himself to say leaving Emily in doubt if he wanted to go or not, so, she asked:

"Do you want to go?"

He looked at her and said:

"Why not?"

She never imagined that he wanted to go, she was not expecting an answer so quickly. She was surprised now, and, he noticed, of course, so, he asked her:

"Is there any problem for you?"

"Oh… hmmm… No! Of course, not… it is just… I myself was not sure if I wanted to go…"

"How come? She is your friend! It's Saturday… nothing wrong… or are you ashamed of me?"

"Clyde! Please… of course not! …How can you even think this?! I could never be ashamed of you….. don't be ridiculous. I am so very proud of you doing the best of a very difficult situation… I am just worried about you being too tired…..it is a very long drive and the house there does not have things prepared and accessibilities like here… I am just worried about you but….I know you will be fine because I will make sure you are….. so, this is my only concern for you…. not being ashamed of you…. just thinking of your welfare….."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay…." He said.

"You should start to choose better words to say, Clyde ... She said getting up from the chair by the table, taking her dishes.

* * *

Everybody was already at the dinner party, except for Clyde and Emily. They were having a certain difficulty with the wheelchair, even it being motorized, it was difficult the access to JJ's house door, because it had a small step that led to the pedestrian entrance. Morgan was anxiously waiting for Emily to arrive, then, through the window, he was seeing that scene. He then went out there to help them. He reached his hand to greet Clyde, then he looked at Emily and:

"Hey…"

"Hey…"

"Let me help you here…."

Morgan grabbed the wheelchair with both of his hands and lifted the front of the chair so it could go through the small step. After that, Clyde took charge and managed the chair.

"Thank you." Emily said to Morgan, who just shook his head and went back inside the house, a little ahead of the couple.

Emily was starting to thinking to herself that she might had made a big mistake agreeing to come to the dinner. They entered the house, and everyone greeted everyone.

After a little while that they were there, Emily was beside Clyde all the time. She did not want him to feel excluded. Hotch was with Beth, and Reid, Rossi, even Blake and her family, and Garcia, Morgan, the kids Jack and Henry running all over the place, typical BAU party meeting, of course Willl and JJ as well.

Rossi was now talking to Clyde about Interpol and other stuff, then he said:

"So, you are the gentleman able to make an honest woman out of Emily and able to tame the untamable Emily Prentiss… must make you are very special man to do it….so, congratulations…"

Emily smiled just a little.

"Well, I did not know what I did to get this special gift in her… but I thank God for this…. even though I am not much of a religious man…. And I know…. shame on me for that….. But I know it is from Him I got this most loving and most beautiful woman inside and outside in the whole universe…." Clyde said.

"…Rossi… Clyde is the very special one here… he saved my life…risking his own… He saved me without thinking twice, he knew that he could be killed by saving me but that did not matter. That is a gift from God and a gift from Clyde. I am so lucky to have him because he gave me the gift of life….with no concern for his own life at all… Clyde's love for me makes me the luckiest woman…"

Rossi was just listening to that and drinking his whiskey, reading perfectly the situation as a fucking profiler he was, just thinking to himself now:

"Poor Emily….. stuck in a loveless marriage because of guilt and feeling she owes him. She is right in a way but so wrong at the same time. She needs to be with someone that she is love with, and this is not fair for Emily and not fair for Clyde as well. God, please, help them, I always love Emily like a dearest friend, please help her to be happy and make the right choice for her and everyone…"

But, of course, he did not say any of this to them. They got back talking about Interpol and how Clyde was getting used to living in America now. Emily took that Clyde was talking to Rossi and that Hotch now had just come along with them, and she went to spend some time with the inseparable girls, JJ and Penelope.

Emily was glad that Morgan was outside in the backyard playing soccer with Jack and Henry, so they did not have to be fighting the feelings that the presence of each other brought to them.

"Okay, my Raven Hair beauty, what is going on between you and my Chocolate God? You two look so tense with each other lately... You two have always been close, but somehow you two are avoiding each other like the plague…" Garcia asked to Emily.

"Yes, Pen is right, Emily, you and Morgan have always been so inseparable always laughing, joking around... Now, you two cannot even look at each other… not to mention not speaking to each other… You've been talking to everyone except to Derek… Even the stranger people for you like Blake and her family you were talking to and you were still not talking to Derek...What is wrong Emily?"

Emily took a sip of her drink now, because her mouth was completely dry now, and said"

"Yes… we are not talking to each other right now… it is a little disagreement between Derek and me. He never did get along with Clyde so he does not understand all this, me being married to him after all Doyle's thing…." She said, as she pointed to her wedding ring. She added: "However we will work it out but we decided to give both of us some space right now….. so, don't worry you two, Derek and I are still good friends…. so there is nothing to worry about…."

JJ and Penelope looked at each other, as if: which story seems more true now: this one Emily just told, Little Red Riding Hood, The Seven Dwarfs, Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. But they pretended believe in Emily and changed the subject.

"So, Emily, does your husband able to knock your socks off…with his husband duties? I remember our girl talks and I am sure that British accent is always a real turn on for you... Give me all the juicy details my sweet friend…I need to know everything…"

"Pen, you are lucky I am not drinking anything right now… you would have had me spitting it on you right now again…" JJ pointed.

"Well… I can say that he used to be really good at that…..but unfortunately his injuries made him unable to move and restrict him a lot… but that is fine… We still share a very special and loving intimate act that is all I need…. so everything is just fine…"

Emily was talking to them but she was not looking at them, even once. So JJ and Penelope could clearly see that something was really wrong with their friend.

Feeling a little trapped, Emily tried desperately to change the subject, because this was being so uncomfortable for her. She said:

"This is JJ's special day…. It's her birthday after all, we need to talk about her… So, JJ, what did Willl get you for a special gift on your birthday? I bet something special like a baby sister or baby brother for Henry… Are you two thinking of more kids? Henry is a darling you need more darlings like him…."

Penelope started to scream in delighting scaring everyone:

"Yes, JJ, you need more darling babies like how Henry was one, I miss his baby days he is a like a big man now even though very cute still…"

Emily took advantage of all the excitement about what Penelope had just spoken to sneak out. She went to the bathroom and locked herself inside. She put both of her hands on the sink, but she did not dare look in the mirror for a while. She found a fixed point in the sink, more specifically in the drain, and she was just wondering how hard it was being for her and how it was getting increasingly difficult to handle the situation of have always to pretend something, and how it was not fair, especially with Clyde. Gradually, she was raising her head, and finally she managed to look at her image in the huge bathroom mirror.

She look at her reflection and she could see her sad expression and she did not like what she was seeing, it was like she was seeing a stranger person in her own reflection, she did not recognize this person. She wanted more for her life and this is not what she envisioned her life to be right now. She could not stare at her image in the mirror not even for a second longer anymore.

She started talking to herself in the mirror, saying: 'Derek, what you had become to me? I think about you from dawn till when I lie down… … you occupy every single second of my mind and I cannot deny it anymore…. I need you… I need you now. I love you, in what point my best friend had become the love of my life…. and how could I let this pass... This is a torture and it hurts…"

She began to breathe faster when she noticed that the tears that were forming were about to start falling. She did not want to blur her makeup, not now, nor have puffy or red eyes. She turned her thoughts to other things like how it should be difficult the life of the Eskimos. After a while she left the bathroom.

She opened the bathroom door but she barely made it out: there was a man, a big man supporting his weight on one hand on the doorframe of the bathroom, almost preventing her from passing. She took a fright. She had almost bumped into him, and she was considering having been fortunate to not bump into him, even though she was too dazed by the smell of his cologne mixed with his own smell ratified by the soccer matches that he had just finished playing with Henry and Jack, that smell of him was driving her crazy, all of this not counting the two buttons open of the shirt that he was wearing.

"God, please, save me…" It was her thought.

Her mouth was dried at the moment, she almost could not close her mouth, she just started to swallow. They were very close now, and their mouths were very close now, and they could even feel each other's breath, just looking into each other's eyes too. Their mouths so close together now. It was like two magnets and the force pulling two objects that it would be impossible to stop this force. Their eyes staring deep in each other's eyes right now looking so deep that it could possibly create laser beams right now. with that very intense look they both had for each other now. They were in a point of no return, like they could not control their bodies anymore.

* * *

**Is there anything that can stop the impossible event to take place right now? Will they locked themselves inside the bathroom and finally kill all the hunger and desire that they have for one another now. Stay tuned guys! Please, please, leave a comment! It really pushes me to update ASAP!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hiiiiii People! I am really honored and flattered by all the comments that I received, especially those asking for updates, I'm really sorry for taking all these days to update, it is that I had a few days off at work and I wanted to do other things, furthermore, I have another ongoing story, and also, as you can see my chapters are really big. Well, without further ado, enjoy yourselves. Hope you like it!**

**I own nothing.**

* * *

Emily opened the bathroom door but she barely made it out because there was a man, a big man supporting all his body weight on one of his hands on the doorframe of the bathroom, almost preventing her from passing. She took a fright. She had almost bumped into him. She was totally inebriated by the smell of his cologne, mixed with his own natural smell ratified by the soccer matches that he had just finished playing with Henry and Jack. This smell of him was driving her crazy, not mentioning the two opened buttons of the shirt he was wearing.

'God, please, save me…' She thought.

Her mouth was dried now. She almost could not close her mouth, she just started to swallow. They were very close now, and their mouths were very close, and they could even feel each other's breath, just looking into each other's eyes. It was like two magnets and the force pulling two objects that it would be impossible to stop this force. Their eyes staring deep in each other's eyes right now looking so deep that it could possibly create laser beams right now. They were in a point of no return, like they could not control their bodies anymore.

But in a small, very small rush of sanity that remained in her now, she just lowered in order to pass under his arms, and run away, leaving the smell of her perfume behind. She ran away, without looking back. Derek closed his eyes tight, and punched the doorframe.

Arriving in the living room, where most of the guests were in, she motioned for Clyde, that she wanted to talk to him, he excused himself to Will and Rossi, with whom he was talking to, and he went with the wheelchair next to her, she whispered to him:

"I…I don't feel good, I think we should go…"

"What are you feeling?" He asked worried.

Emily was a person that could not lie, she was always so honest and true, but, there was no way she could say: well, let's go home because i just cannot be in the same space as Derek, because I can feel his smell so hard and only his presence is capable of destabilizing me completely and he takes out my entire shaft and balance.. Although she did not say that, it was stamped in her behavior, and being surrounded by profilers, she had this feeling that everyone could notice any time. She only said, then:

"I don't know… I just… I think I am tired…"

"Emily...Let's just wait for dinner, then we will go...It will be too big of an insult to your friend if we leave now...…"

JJ was passing behind them and overheard. She said:

"Leave?"

"Yeah… Emily is not feeling well…" Clyde said to JJ, and Emily kind of cursed him mentally.

"….Are you not feeling well? What do you need? I have aspirins, things for upset stomach, with Will and Henry… my cabinet is like a pharmacy…"

"Oh, no, no, thanks JJ, I think I am just tired…"

JJ could see something inside Emily's eyes. She did not know what it was, but she knew that this was not the right moment to talk about this with her friend. Then she said:. Then, she said:

"I will now ask to serve dinner…. I insist you to stay for the happy birthday moment!"

"Okay…" Emily smiled to her friend.

As soon as JJ left, Emily took a deep breath and let all the air out through her mouth.

"Em?" Clyde called her.

She sat on the sofa next to his wheelchair. He looked at her in the eyes and said:

"What is wrong?"

"There is nothing wrong, Clyde!"

"It's pretty clear something is really bothering you…"

"I already told you! I am tired!"

"Can I take a ride on your chair?" Henry asked Clyde innocently.

"Henry! Not that way!" Will was nearby and heard the boy speaking.

"Oh! That's okay… It will be a pleasure to bring this young man to a ride…"

Henry rode in the motorized wheelchair, in Clyde's lap, and they went to the back yard, there was a large outdoor area there. JJ's mother said to Emily, and at the exact moment that Derek was joining them in the living room again:

"Your husband is so great with kids, he would make a great father someday…you and him are planning to have children someday?"

Emily did not know what to say. She could not tell them that Clyde cannot perform. The tension was very thick now, but she was the queen of the compartmentalization, she said:

"Well, Mrs. Jarreau, with this job being so hectic, it would not allow for children in the foreseeable future. Things are really fine the way they are now and we both feel quite blessed to have each other now… living in this fine country…"

"But you are not on the field anymore, right?!"

"Yeah… I am not…"

"Even in the field, JJ makes it work…You should try…"

Emily smiled to the woman, a very embarrassed. JJ said:

"Mom, could you help me to serve the dinner?"

"Ah… Sure…"

Emily went outside to the backyard, she was just looking out far to see Clyde was having fun with the boys, Henry and Jack. Holding a glass of wine in hands, she was just thinking and trying to focus on her husband and not on Derek, which was kind of becoming really impossible for her.

Morgan stealthily approached to talk to her, with glass of wine in his hands:

"Emily, look at your better half….. He is really good with children. I am sure you thought of it because you told me that you wanted husband and kids when I visited you in London…"

Derek wanted to call him 'her worst half' not 'better half' but he thought he better not say this.

"Are you stalking me, Derek?"

"…You got your husband… and now you can work on the next thing you said you wanted….. and that is children. When we had that talk in London about this, I could see you wanted that… So, what is stopping you from accomplishing both goals now…..you got the first one, a husband….. now, how about the second?"

Emily could feel tears forming in her eyes but they were tears of anger! Yikes! She had said it directly to HIM back there in London. To him, with him! And he had not realized it!

"Derek, I think kids are better raised when they have parents that love each other…"

He turned to face her now:

"Then, why can't you make that happen? …And do anything you can to be with the man you love, and have children with him…"

He was now looking deep into Emily's eyes now just penetrating deeply in her heart and soul. With this deep look that he was giving her, Emily could feel a huge shiver tingling all over her body starting with her spine and then filtering every inch of her body. She was reacting to his look, and that look of him was telling her that Derek so badly wanted to father many babies with her. But, the tough cookie said to him:

"Because I said it to his face...and he just turned his back to me and walked away..."

Then, Emily left him alone and walked towards Clyde. That was a big slap on Morgan's face, like a huge typhoon washing over him. He was thinking to himself in his mind now:

'Derek you stupid idiot, why did you not get that clear message she told you in London that day, if you did you would be having a couple of kids with Emily that would be playing with Jack and Henry right now.' He was cursing himself.

Emily approached Clyde, placing both hands on his shoulders, behind the wheelchair, saying:

"You're not too tired, Clyde?"

"Physical therapists said I need to move… And I am enjoying playing with these kids… I just realized that I had no contact with children since… hum... I think I never had…I am okay, Emily… Don't worry…"

Rossi was just walking by and heard Derek cursing himself, even though Derek was trying to curse himself only in his mind, some words slipped out. It was not a loud curse, so, only Rossi could hear because he was the only one close in proximity to Derek right now. This thing kind of startled Rossi and he said to Derek:

"Derek, I do not see anyone a mile from you, so, you are either talking to an imaginary friend, a ghost or to yourself. Any of those options does not sound like things are going well for you. Do you want to talk about it so you do not have talk to any of those strange options... You know that I am a good listener and you know I will always try to give you the best advice I can but with my track record with so many marriages, women is not my strong suit but I can tell this is a woman problem. Even though I had three divorces I learned a lot through my failures so I think I can help you still with woman problems. What is it Derek? It seems that you are ready to explode and lose your sanity if you do not get it off your chest...…"

"Rossi, Man, yes I think I need to talk to you but not here, you are one of the wisest men I know. This is very private so maybe we can talk about this tomorrow at a coffee shop or somewhere like that during work for coffee break or after work…"

Before Rossi could say something, Garcia approached them, saying:

"My God Derek, what is wrong…. you look so upset and Rossi here talking to you something is up what is going on? I am not a great profiler like the two of you combined but I definitely could smell and see that something is very wrong. You all suppose to be having a fun time at this party but it is the polar opposite. Tell me my Chocolate Thunder what is going on?"

Derek kissed her on the head, saying:

"Nothing wrong, baby girl…"

During the dinner:

The adults were all sitting at the big table that JJ had tidy for the occasion. Emily and Derek are across from each other and Clyde was beside her. Both could not think straight while eating dinner, just staring at each other and then looking away suddenly. The tension is so thick they can serve the tensions they have there.

They were eating dinner and Emily had a bit of mashed potatoes stuck on her lips now. Derek wished he could kiss it off of her. But what she did next was a very low blow to him: she slowly ran her tongue over her lips to clean it. It was totally disconcerting to him.

Jack and Henry had finished eating, and they went to join the adults:

"Look, Mom, I ate every little thing!"

"Oh, my Champion! Very good!"

"We can now go play with Uncle Derek?"

"Uncle Derek is still having dinner, go just you and Jack, okay?"

Jack approached Derek and said:

"Uncle Derek, why don't you have any children yet?"

Emily fought an internal struggle with herself, she fought, fought, fought, and she managed to not look at Derek, but her antennas were very well connected in what would be Derek's answer to the curious boy:

"Well, Jack, sometimes when we found the right person we don't realize, and when we realize it's too late (he stole a quick glance towards Emily). But I want to marry and have children. When I am with the right woman I would love to have children that are just as good and sweet as you and Henry. They will play with the two of you, even though you two will be much older than them, but you two would be so wise and protective of them. I am sure you two will protect them and help me look after them…"

"Of course we will!"

In fact, Jack was not interested in Derek's answer. He just wanted to know why Derek had no children, because he wanted to play with the children of Derek. The two boys went to the backyard to play.

"No soccer for now, okay!" JJ yelled before they could leave.

Once dinner was over, Emily called JJ in a corner to say goodbye to her, and only to her, as host, saying that she was not feeling well:

"Really, JJ, I am sorry… but I really have to go now…"

"Emily, what is wrong? I could see the whole party was like a torture for you…what is really happening? Even Clyde was feeling more comfortable than you?"

"I'm sorry, JJ, it's nothing with you, really, I'm really sorry…"

"We still have the cake…please…"

"I'm sorry, I can't, I really have to go..."

Before Emily could go, JJ grabbed her hand, saying:

"If you need to talk…" Like she was offering some help.

"I will… I definitely will!"

* * *

In the car going back home, Emily was driving:

"Emily, why did you look so tense sad and miserable at the party? It should have been the opposite because you are with dear friends that you have known for almost a decade. It was like you were at a prison camp because you felt like you were trapped and in total imprisonment. You want to tell me why and the whole complete truth now…"

She said nothing. He insisted:

"…..is it because of me, Emily? You felt uncomfortable me being there and tying you down? You could not feel free to enjoy yourself at the party because you were always worrying about me and taking care of me?

Okay, Clyde knew very well how to annoy a woman. Emily will be angry and pissed now:

"Clyde, how many times do I have to tell you: it is not this, you are not a burden to me! Do I have to put it in a legal document for you to believe? I will sign it if you want! I am with you and in this marriage because I want to be. You have to stop thinking that you are tying me down. This is not true at all and you have to give yourself more credit than that. I do not want you to say these things to me anymore, you keep telling me the same thing over and over again, Clyde, and I am sick to death of it…"

When Clyde was about to open his mouth to say something, she cut him off, saying:

"Do you really want me distracted while I am driving and crash this car, killing us both? …because of this very intense talk?"

"Damn it!" Clyde cursed.

The rest of the drive was in complete silence.

* * *

Even before Emily and Clyde got home, Derek was also leaving JJ's birthday party.

"Oh, Derek, we still have the cake… wait at least for the cake…"

"I am so sorry, JJ, I guess I am not in the party mood anymore. Your son and Jack really wore me out…. I guess that means I am getting too old… and…. since Emily left the party, it kind of took the fun out of things… Anyways, I am trying to keep my body the way it is and cake is a no, no! Happy birthday to you again, JJ, all the best wishes to you..."

* * *

At home:

Emily was so pissed when they got home, she wanted to be with Derek so badly, and lots of other things and mainly her own situation that she was in a need of an escape goat, and poor Clyde was right there. It was not right she blame only Clyde for the entire situation, but subconsciously she was. So she did everything very fast and angry, demonstrating zero patience. She helped Clyde get out of the car, she helped with the wheelchair. She locked the car, opened the door of the house, locked the door of the house, and she used hurried steps to her bedroom, tearing out her heels through the corridor. Clyde just watched everything, like he was not part of the scene, but he was not that patient, so he went after her:

"Em! Hey! We need to talk! You need to tell me what is troubling you, right now! You said it is not being stuck with me and happy to be with me in our marriage….. but it does not feel that way. It is like your physical body is here in this house only but your spirit and your heart, soul and mind is a zillion miles away. You are talking but not speaking to me. You are barely hearing what I am saying to you… and you are always totally distracted… I refuse to live like this any longer… I rather live by myself even though I love you and want to be with you but if you do not feel the same way what is the point… Emily you need to tell me how you truly feel…"

She was blushed red and she was so pissed right now:

"Could you please give just a few minutes of peace, for God's sake, Clyde! I am sick of your questions all the time!"

They started to yell now:

"NO! I CAN'T! And we are going to resolve this right now… I cannot stand this situation anymore! Look at yourself in the mirror, Emily! You've been treating me like trash since we got here about four months ago now!"

"Trash? What the fuck you mean? If I was treating you like trash I would not care about you as much as I care! How dare you say this to me? You know how much I worry and try to make sure everything is going okay with you….. And you, instead of you helping me, you keep pushing me and pushing me all the time...just give me some space Clyde…"

"More space? You get home, you barely talk to me. You go to bed, and when I say bed is to literally sleep, you cannot even let me touch you anymore...and I miss this so much...I miss your body…I am still your fucking husband!"

"…As if you could really fuck me!"

Emily said that last sentence, but she was much more concentrated on taking the jewelry, earrings and necklaces off. Only then she realized the gravity of what she had just said. She put the earrings on the dresser, very carefully now, she turned to face him, he was trying to recover himself from the punch that he had just gotten in the stomach. She said:

"I…I…I'm sorry…Really… I'm really sorry…. I did not mean…"

He cut her off, saying:

"Is that way you just said how much you care about me, Emily? Well, that last statement said the very total polar opposite… That is the meanest thing a human being could say to another even to an enemy so if you really care about me like you said you would never ever said that to me…"

He said huffing wheeling away fast like a race car driver.

Well, she stood crying after he left, and she cried all the crying that was stuck in her throat because of the night. She slept on the bed, and Clyde has not appeared more in their bedroom that night. On Sunday, next day, she tried to apologize again, but he did not talk to her.

* * *

Monday morning, at BAU:

Although her chance to be happy was against all the possibilities now, Emily was happy to climb the steps of the BAU, toward her office, but not before saying a 'Good Morning' to Hotch, who was still always the first to get there. She opened the door of her office and she froze, and then immediately melted. He was there, with a cup of coffee for her.

"Thank God, you arrived. Otherwise the coffee would be cold…"

"Good morning…" She said dryly, but not angry… only distant.

"How was the rest of the weekend?" He asked.

"Oh… I… nothing special…"

"Hmm… I see…"

"At least we could have some fun at JJ's…"

She only looked at him, sarcastic look, and she did not even answer to that. That party had been a complete torture to her. And he knew that.

"So, as far as I saw, Clyde is doing very well here in America…"

Derek was talking about everything, steering away from the topic of them, which was what they really needed to talk about. But she did not answer too.

"Does he have a chance to recover… I mean, from…the…"

Emily cut him off, and he himself was realizing what a silly talk all this was. She said:

"Derek, I am very busy here, I do not have time for chit chat. If this is a business issue, please, go ahead, if not, please, we can have this little talk at another time, thank you…"

Well, it was a kick in the butt by her. He said:

"Hmm, okay, Mrs. Easter, right? …and not Prentiss anymore, right?"

Realizing that he was being really sarcastic now, she was just looking at him, and he was saying:

"Clyde or Easter? …Since you belong to him…"

She did not say anything, Morgan kept saying:

"Okay, Boss Prentiss, I will make an appointment the next time with you, and I will make sure it is BAU business issue next time I enter your office. I never want to bother and disrupt your very hectic schedule ever again. Please accept my apologies my honorable superior…"

"Derek, I do not want to fight with you here or anywhere or anyone. We can talk about this soon just the two of us. We have to find a way to work out this unresolved situation between us. It is not an easy situation like you always says it is. This is not easy for all of us involved. Any decisions I make does not only affect you and me but other lives not just Clyde but the entire team…"

"I just wanted to bring you a coffee, Emily…Or should I say: Prentiss?"

"You can call what you want, but just don't make things more difficult to me… please…"

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for being so rude…It is just so unfair…"

"Whatever, Derek, here is not the right place for that…"

"My place? Tonight?"

"Derek,.. please…"

"Just a talk, Emily…"

"Okay.."

* * *

**Sooooooooooooooooooo…. Emily is going to Derek's place once again after work. He is going to serve them dinner but I know these two will only have desserts on their minds… hehehe. So, what will happen on this private talk between them at Derek's place? Stay tuned on this same channel and please tell me what you think and please continue to comment and thanks so very much for all your kind words and ideas, please keep them rolling! Thank you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hiiiiiiiii guyssssssssssssssss….**

**Missed you all! Well…. Have fun!**

**I own nothing**

* * *

"I just wanted to bring you a coffee, Emily…Or should I say: Prentiss?"

"You can call what you want, but just don't make things more difficult for me… Please…"

As a gentleman and a man in love, he said:

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry for being so rude… It's just so unfair… this situation…"

"Whatever, Derek, this is not the right place for that…"

"My place? Tonight?"

"Derek... please…"

She was in doubt.

"Just for a talk, Emily…"

"Okay…"

* * *

Same time, in the meeting room:

They were all together and Garcia was about to present the new case to the team. It was Rossi, JJ, Reid, Garcia and Blake who were there, waiting for Hotch.

Hotch entered the room and before he sat down, he asked:

"Where is Morgan?"

"My Chocolate God must still be in the gym, sweating that body…" Garcia said.

Hotch gave her a frozen look. She said:

"Sorry, Sir…"

"He really needs to get stronger to be able to tackle trains like he did in the past… Or is he somewhere other than the gym because I know he is already here…"

"He must be at the gym, which is his favorite place at the BAU, everybody knows that…" JJ said.

Looking at the Ipad in her hands, as if she had some poison seeping of her mouth, Blake said, almost in a whisper:

"I think he has another favorite place now…"

"Let's get started…" Hotch said, cutting off the talk.

Garcia presented the case, another serial killer. It was very quick because the serial killer was acting very fast, so they had to travel soon.

"Wheels up in thirty…" Hotch said.

* * *

In Emily's office:

"So, I'm going to wait for you tonight. Maybe I can cook some dinner and we can talk or just spend some time together…" Derek said as he opened the door to get out of there.

"Derek, no need for dinner… It's not a date…" Emily said. Derek turned to talk to her, leaving the door ajar.

"I know it's not a date, Emily. I know you can't, right now, and I respect. You don't have to believe, but I know that I wouldn't be happy, staying the way you are now, married. But I love you so much that I just want to be near you, even if it's just to talk or just to look at you…"

She regarded him, and he could see the love in her eyes, but he could also see the pain. He held her hands. Hotch was now by the door, watching the scene unfold in front of him through the small opening. Derek still held her hands. Hotch frowned, now knowing something was going on, but he didn't know what it was, and he was mentally praying that it wasn't what he was thinking. Even if the door was ajar, he knocked it, making Emily and Derek a little apprehensive.

"Hotch..." Emily said.

"Excuse me…" Hotch said, still outside the door, just peeking inside.

"Come in…" Emily said.

"Excuse me, Prentiss. I just need to talk to Morgan."

Morgan gave her one final look, and got out of there with Hotch. The two men entered Hotch's office.

"Morgan, is there any problem?" Hotch asked.

"Problem?"

"You know if you have a problem of any kind that concerns the BAU or work, you have to talk to me, right?"

"I know, Hotch, but there's no problem. I was just saying good morning to a friend…"

"So keep your friendship outside of work. You can be friends out of the BAU. You missed the briefing. I don't want this happening again. Do I make myself clear?"

"Sure… So we have a case?"

"Yes… Wheels up in thirty... You can go now."

It was clear that Hotch had already 'read' everything perfectly clear, but he would not approach this issue now. For now, he would stay in observation mode only. And Derek and Emily knew that. So Derek didn't dare to enter Emily's office to say that their plans were ruined for now. Even though, she would know that the team would go out of town, he wanted to say it in person to her, but he couldn't so he decided to text her from inside the airplane.

"I miss you so much already even though I've only been gone for a few minutes. Too bad our plans to meet up for dinner is interrupted by this case. I love you so much, Princess, and hopefully we can do what we intended to do very soon."

Emily texted back to him:

"Please be safe and get back in one piece. Although I want all of my team members to be equally safe, but I have an extra soft spot for you, Derek, because I love you too… xoxo."

Derek's smile was so wide when reading her reply that the whole team on the jet could see it.

"Statistics show that a mega watt smile from texting means that the person is texting someone who's a very significant other. A smile like that could possibly light up an entire dark planet. Mostly this person is heads over heals in love with the other person…" Reid rambled.

"Where do you come up with all those statistics, kid? You are incredible! However, I agree with Reid. Derek, he is right. Do you want to share?" Rossi asked, mildly amused.

"Well, text messages are private, and Derek doesn't have to share if he doesn't want to. I think he would like to keep it private for now. We expect the same respect and privacy for ourselves, don't you think?" JJ said.

"It's nothing… Just texting a friend and he wrote a joke in the message. Nothing like laughing to lighten up my mood before going on a typical gruesome and horrific case…"

Rossi rolled his eyes.

"Well, nothing wrong with that… We all have our ways to deal and prepare ourselves mentally for a case before we have to tackle it, but nothing wrong with being in love either…" Rossi said, winking at him, making it clear that he knew very well the 'joke' was a woman.

Derek thought to himself that he really needed to start being more careful.

* * *

At night, Emily went home. The team was still out working on the case. Emily entered her home. The physiotherapist was still there, working with Clyde.

"Good evening…" Emily greeted them.

"Hi, Mrs. Prentiss, we have some good news…"

Well, the situation was very weird now because Emily and Clyde still wasn't speaking to each other since that fight on Saturday night, three days ago. But the physiotherapist had nothing to do with it. He had no idea what was happening between them, but he realized that as he talked about the good news, Clyde had changed his mood from happy to angry and impatient. Emily put her purse on the couch and approached them.

"That's great! What is it?" She asked Clyde.

Realizing that Clyde would not tell her anything, the physiotherapist said:

"Well, after all these months, we were finally able to get great response from his right arm. He can now move his hand. We were just practicing, look!"

The man waited for Clyde to make the movement, but nothing. An embarrassing situation had formed. Even to the physiotherapist who was very far from being a profiler had noticed the size of the gap between Clyde and Emily. Clyde said:

"It's just… I'm tired now… I think we've done a lot for today…"

Still a little embarrassed, the man said:

"Yes, you're right. Well, tomorrow our session is there in the clinic, okay…"

"Okay…"

Clyde followed the man to the door with his wheelchair. Then he locked the door and passed Emily in the living room who was waiting for him.

"Clyde…"

He did not stop the wheelchair, as if she was not there. She tried again:

"Clyde…"

He stopped the wheelchair in the middle of the corridor on his way to the TV room. She approached him and said:

"Look, I'm so happy for you. You've made a huge progress and I'm really happy…"

Very sarcastically he whispered to her:

"But if you're hoping that I can move something else… I still can't and I don't know if I ever will…"

He started rolling out with the wheelchair, but not before looking at her with anger in his eyes. She knew that he was still upset, but she did not expect this at all. It was like receiving a punch in the stomach. She went to prepare something for them to eat.

After about an hour, she came to call him for dinner:

"Clyde, dinner is ready… It's on the table…" She said, very sweetly.

"You can eat alone, Emily. I'm not hungry and I can make myself a sandwich later… Thank you…" He said without looking at her.

Well, she had cooked more because of him than because of herself. So the food just stayed there on the stove, getting cold. Neither of them had dinner. Emily went to her bedroom to take a bath.

* * *

Later that night, she was in bed, reviewing papers from work. She was waiting for him to come to bed because he had not slept there during the two last nights. It was almost midnight so Emily decided to go to speak to him:

"I can't stand it anymore, Clyde. We have to talk…"

He continued to watch sports on the television. Emily walked and turned the TV off. He looked at her and said:

"Okay… what do you want to talk about? Was it not enough what you said to me?

"I already said I'm sorry… Clyde, really, please, believe me… I regret what I said… I never meant to… I… I did't have the intention to hurt you… I know I did, but it was not my intention… I was so tired and nervous that day…Please forgive me…"

He was still very hurt, but on the other hand, he loved her so much that he could not continue giving her the silent treatment. Emily approached him and she held his hands.

"Please…"

He looked at her and said:

"You know I can't see you that way, so sad because of me… I love you so much, Emily. Sometimes I wish I'd have really died when they shot me because you would be totally free l, and I wouldn't be a burden for you all the time…"

"You are not a burden, Clyde…"

"But I know you don't love me like I love you…"

Emily was a bit blank now. She looked up, searching for the words in her mind. She said:

"But Clyde… When I look back at my past and when I think about someone that really loved me, you are the only one that comes to mind… You are the only man that for a long time showed and proved all the time, how much you love me… you know… I feel totally loved by you and this always made me feel safe… I've always been so independent and stuff, but the eight years that I spent here in America, two on a desk job, and six on the field meant so much loneliness for me… I used to go home late at night and all the lights that I could see through my window didn't help me to forget all the darkness in my lonely life and looking back there was always you… You were always there for me and I could think: I have someone that if I want I can be with him… Be with you!"

Emily was holding his hands, and Clyde pulled her gently, so she sat on his lap now in the wheelchair.

"I will always love you… for both of us…" he said.

He tried to kiss her, but she quickly got up and said:

"Now, come to bed… it's already really late…"

* * *

In the bed:

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

"If… one day… you fall in love with another man… would you tell me?"

"Where is this coming from? I mean… I'm here…"

"Just answer…"

"Clyde, right now, all that I can think of is your comfort, health and happiness. With you and my very hectic job I don't have time to think about anything else but you and the job so please don't worry about me. I'm here because I want to so please no more of this for now, okay?… Now, let me sleep… I have to wake up in a few hours to work…"

* * *

Two days after, Wednesday evening, at the BAU, the team came back from the case. Emily was still there. She knocked on Hotch's office door.

"Come in…" He said.

"Hey, Hotch, do you have a second?"

"Sure…"

Emily got inside his office and closed the door.

"How was the case?"

"After some bureaucratic stuff, we made it… I will report everything on paper to you…"

"Okay… Good… Look… about the other day… I want to say I'm sorry, Hotch. It was my fault that Morgan was not there for the briefing…I wanted to talk about something and we lost track of time. It won't happen again, I apologize. Shame on me, trying to keep up with the best procedures and the BAU protocols and I slipped. You can pin this on me, not Morgan, please…"

"Emily, it's very endearing that you're taking responsibility for the fact that Morgan missed the briefing. I know how very professional both of you are. We're all human and make mistakes. I know it won't happen again, but I had to tell Morgan because it's my job to do so. I know how very valuable he is to the team and it's really important that he is present all the way. You have nothing to worry about, but thank you very much for telling me and informing me of all this Emily…"

"Thank you…"

She got out of there, and started walking towards her office when she heard Penelope calling her.

"Hey, sexy high heels…" Garcia said, referring to Emily:

Emily looked as if it was not her. But Garcia said:

"Hey, it's you I'm talking about. Are you still in the boss mode?"

Emily smiled and approached them:

"We're going to a restaurant to have a little fun after these two last terrible days… just for a dinner…" JJ said.

"C'mon my Raven haired beauty, we have not done this for a long time, please..." Garcia begged.

"Emily you're the only one that can give me a run for my money. None of these people can keep up with my drinking, but you can. Come on we will have fun, just like the good old days…We work so hard so we're entitled to play hard as well. This has always been good for team spirit and moral. You being the boss, Emily, you'd want that and you being there would lift up our spirits a million times more, so what do you say? Can you please join us…" Rossi tried to persuade her.

"I… I can't…" she said, sadly. " I have to prepare dinner at home…"

"Well… you can join us for dinner and then you can take some food home to your hubby… So no excuses… Even JJ is coming…"

"Only because Will took Henry to visit his relatives…" she said. "I'm really sorry guys, but I can't…"

Morgan was just observing. She glanced very fast at him, and went quickly up towards her office, her heels clicking away from them. Morgan followed her with his eyes. After she vanished from there, he said:

"Well… I think I'm not in the mood either…I have a terrible headache…"

"What? So suddenly?" Reid asked.

"It's not suddenly, pretty boy, but since this morning when I had to put three doors down, and stop the guy with my hands… I'm really tired…"

He said while he was getting his go bag and walked towards the elevator. Once alone inside the elevator, he texted Emily:

"I'm waiting for you at my place. Please… I need to see you…"

* * *

Derek went home, he took a shower. He was wearing very comfortable pants and a white T-shirt. He went to the kitchen to prepare that pasta that Rossi had taught the team. He put the water to boil, and put a soft cool music in the background. He was seasoning food and drinking some wine, while he talked to Clooney.

"Hey, buddy… Do you think she is coming? I hope she comes, buddy…" Morgan looked at the dog. "When she comes please just vanish away and don't be rude, and mainly don't fart in front of her, Clooney, please… okay, buddy?"

The dog was only looking at Derek.

* * *

Emily was still in the parking garage at the BAU, with her cellphone in hand. She had read that message more than 100 times, but she was not sure of anything. As if she was running away from a destination path, to escape from a reality that she no longer could bear, as if she could pretend that nothing was happening and it was just her and him now, trying to deceive herself, she began to drive fast, with an incredible speed. It was as if she could not leave any space to think, and go back to what she had decided. She could not even think right now. She was driving without stopping, like crazy, because she had to fight against it. She had to keep her mind, and she had to keep her sanity with not room for regret. She parked her car, and looked at the house.

She walked very quickly to the door and rang the bell. She was so nervous that she was pacing from one side to another in the hall until someone opened the door. Morgan opened the door. She stopped, and they looked at each other. She just jumped into his arms, as if she wanted to hold him for an eternity. As if she had all the thirst and hunger from throughout the world. Morgan was hugging her tightly while he at the same time closed the door and they were inside the house.

They were still hugging each other and their bodies were completely intertwined now. Derek held her face with both hands, and they just looked at each other. Her breathing had accelerated, their adrenaline was on top. They could already feel a fever creeping up their bodies, and a craving which came to burn. She began to try to avoid contact with his eyes, but it was like a magnet, she could not help it. Even though she didn't want to look at him, it was impossible not to do so and the proximity of their bodies and eyes and mouth made them feel each other's breathing.

It became uncontrollable for them to stop what would follow, the explosive passion between them that left both of their bodies completely on fire. They just wanted to swallow each other's mouth now.

Derek finally kissed her, passionately. They both moaned loudly because the kiss was just too delicious for the both of them. They couldn't get enough. The intensity of the kiss was so big that the world could end and the two would still be kissing. Their hands were moving up to the shoulders and going lower and all over each other's body. Their mouths and hands just couldn't get enough of each other. They continued to kiss like this because this was the only time they would get to kiss each other which was a total explosion of feelings for both of them.

They caressed each other's body and the urge to rip off the other's clothing in a single second was totally overwhelming. They continue to swallow the other's mouth like a desperate act. The only time they stopped kissing was to catch their breath. They kissed as if their lives depended on it.

* * *

**So, where is this passion and kissing will lead our couple? Please stay tuned and let me know what you think as you are all doing such a great job in doing so all the time. Thank you very much please continue to do so as it is always much appreciated. The talk between Rossi and Derek will come in next chapter or the other. **

**To reader Genevieve, thanks very much for your offer to help me and please send me a pm because I cannot contact as you are on a guest ID. I have two betas but sometimes they are busy and etc.**

**Thanks very much to you and everyone here and please to tell me what you would like to see happened as I will always do my very best efforts to accommodate you all.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily and Derek were kissing each other, tongues fighting deliciously. They held each other's body so tight, hands everywhere, and the urge to rip off the other's clothes was totally overwhelming. They continued to make out like a desperate act. The only time they stopped was to catch their breath. They kissed as if their lives depended on it. As if it was the only way that they could continue to live.

While desperately kissing each other's lips, jaw, everywhere, they were moving with slow steps towards the couch. The huge sofa was like a magnet for their bodies.

They felt their bodies burning with desire for each other, like an ember. Their eyes were closed to intensify the wonderful feeling they had. That kiss was no longer only a part of an imaginary world. It was real, so fucking real, and no longer a fantasy that they both had, had in mind since the day she had returned from London. It was everything that he always wanted, but he was always so dumb to realize that before.

Derek had been in her dreams since forever, but she was too controlled to get carried away by feelings. But now, all that she wanted was to be in his arms, to let his strong muscles hold her.

Their bodies were on the sofa now. He was on top of her. He tried to take his weight off her, but she did not let him. She held him down by his back and ass. She just wanted to feel all his weight on her. She was hungry of him, desperate for it. Both of their hands were everywhere, feeling and touching each other's bodies and Derek could feel her breasts against his chest and this was driving him crazy. His hands went underneath her shirt, and even if they were fully dressed, Emily could feel the size of the erection that she had given him beneath the comfortable pants that he was wearing. They were totally involved in each other now, guided only by the desire. They just couldn't stop. Not now. They were completely transcended into a world where they could be together and make love and mating their bodies as if they were just one, like a perfect match of body, soul and heart.

Suddenly, a deafening noise came from the kitchen. As if she had been rescued from an imaginary world towards happiness, Emily stopped her movements and opened her eyes. Yeah! She was sane again.

Derek had also been brought back to this world: FUCK! He thought.

It was a kettle of water for the pasta that he had put to boil. It was whistling in a mad urgency for some attention. What the kettle didn't know was that they were into a much bigger urgency of each other.

Awakened from her delicious 'dream', Emily made some movements to try to compose herself. Derek stood up, composing himself too. Well at least he was trying to.

Still recovering his breath, he said:

"It's the kettle… The water must be boiling…" He said while he made his way to the kitchen.

"Maybe it was fate telling us to stop because it won't go anywhere…" She said more to herself, trying to straighten her skirt and her silk blouse. She was thinking that he was not even there anymore. But he was, and said:

"What did you say?"

"Hmm, nothing…" She whispered.

And what once had been fire turned into ice at that exactly moment. There was an intense look and he went to the kitchen to make the kettle shut up.

Emily felt that she should go now, but it was only for a second. She knew she couldn't go out, leaving things unresolved and more complicated than before she got there. She went to the bathroom and stayed there for a while. Taking a deep breath, thinking about the kiss, and how it would be good to make love to him. Not because of his perfect and defined body, but because of the love she felt for him. And she had just remembered that she'd never made love with someone she really loved, the way she loved him.

After about ten minutes Emily left the bathroom, and went after him. She approached him and said:

"Derek… you don't have to cook. Actually, I think I should go…"

He was stirring the pasta into the water. He turned to look at her. It was clear that there was a disappointment in his eyes. And of course she realized it.

"Go?" He raised an eyebrow.

She saw that he had already prepared everything. The onions, tomatoes, parsley, and chives were cut on the board and the kitchen drainer was already in the sink.

"I mean… you didn't have to…" She swallowed hard.

Derek took the dishtowel to remove the casserole from the stove, and throw the pasta in the kitchen drainer. He wiped his hands on the towel and walked up to her.

"You came here so we could talk, right?" He said.

"Yes…" She whispered.

They both were very apprehensive because they knew that they had gotten to a point of no turning back. Derek was a perfect gentleman, but he was also very sure of himself. He looked deep into her eyes.

"Do you really want to go?"

She smiled nervously, looking up at him.

"I think we can both enjoy a nice meal and talk," she said.

She sat down on the high stool that he had by the counter. Derek put the spices in the pasta, and Emily just observed him. Oh God, she loved this man. She was imagining how wonderful it would be waking up next to him. She imagined him making pancakes for her in the morning, after making love in the early morning before going to a stressful work day. She imagined herself in that kitchen preparing food for him, or maybe just some popcorn for them to watch a movie together, holding each other on the couch. Her thoughts went miles away. She was brought back to reality by his voice.

"You want some wine?"

"I'm driving so better not..."

"Okay…" He said, while placing the plates and cutlery on the counter.

"But I could use some water…"

As he was still busy preparing the pasta, he said:

"You can take it in the fridge… I have some juice too…"

Him offering her to open the refrigerator nourished her imagination even more about to one day in her life be able to walk around his home, as his wife. She just felt so happy opening Derek Morgan's refrigerator that way, so freely. That was a good feeling for her.

Finally he brought the dish with pasta over, giving off a very pleasant smell and the steam indicating that it was really hot.

"Looks delicious…" She said. She was a little more relaxed now.

He just smiled at her. He sat on the high stool at the counter facing her, taking another sip of his wine. Then he put some pasta on her plate and a bit for him too. Before eating, he offered his glass for a toast, and they clinked, without looking away while toasting.

He waited for her to have the first mouthful to see if she liked it. He drank the wine, while she tasted the food.

"So? Is it good?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes! A little different from Rossi's, but also delicious…"

He smiled, satisfied with his performance in the kitchen, and began to eat too. After a little while, he said:

"It's different because I didn't add the bacon or the pancetta like he likes to say…"

"It's really delicious, Derek, I never imagined that you had these culinary skills…"

They talked while eating.

"I didn't add the pancetta because although it was very tasty, I don't think it fit well…" She looked at him, and he added, "...to the pasta…"

"Hmm…. The two ways are delicious…."

"Sometimes when things don't fit together we just have to part them…"

"Because if they don't fit they will never be nice together…"

He ate, talked and looked at her. Emily wasn't sure if he was relating the meal with their situation.

"Because it wouldn't do any good for anyone… I mean… if you put two ingredients that don't fit together the food won't be good and it won't be good to eat…no one is going to be happy…"

"It depends on the taste of each person…" She said, half apprehensive, trying to roll the pasta on the fork, but she was just stalling, like trying to say: it depends on the situation. To two good profilers, they knew exactly what the other was trying to say.

"Yeah… I agree with that, but there are some tastes that are totally uncontrollable for us… we just love or don't..."

Now she was sure about what he was talking about and she didn't have an answer for it. They finished eating in silence, but the silence was weighing as their thoughts were running over them, and the will to get it all out took a toll on them. After a last bite, Emily stood up and said:

"Derek, I'm already very late so it's better if we start to talk clearly instead of by metaphor…"

He took a last sip of his wine, and they went to the living room.

In the living room, he sat on the armrest of the sofa and she stood next to him.

"We have to forget about what happened, Derek…" she said.

"Can you?"

Of course she had no response to that. Well, she had, but she didn't dare to say it. She could never forget that kiss, not even in a million years.

"Emily, look me in the eyes and tell me that was not the most special moment that's happened between us? If that kettle had not whistled we probably would have made love for the rest of the night because we can't control our feelings anymore… How can you even suggest that we forget this? I will not forget the most wonderful and precious moment and I'm pretty sure you can't forget it either, can't you see that? How can you ignore this?"

"I'm not ignoring it, Derek... We would have enjoyed the lovemaking that was about to take place, but at what cost? I know we both love each other very much and want each other right now more than anything, but I don't want our first time to have even a slightest ounce of guilt and regret. Our love deserves much more than that…."

"Emily, I know this situation with your marriage is complicated with Clyde being in that situation, but we can't help who we fall in love with... Us being in love and you being married to someone else is not ideal either, but our love is so worth it that even if this situation seems impossible, I know we can make it because true love like this makes the impossible possible. We just have to talk things out together, share everything and we'll be just fine. We deserve to be happy together and as long as we are apart we'll never be. It's not fair to Clyde either. You need to tell him the truth about everything. I'll never pressure you to do so because I love you so much. I'll wait forever if I have to…"

"I still need a little more time to think about where I want to go with my life and everything. This affects everything, not just my marriage but the dynamics of our team. I'm your boss and this will impact the entire BAU. We need to think about this fully before we take this step because the consequences of our actions could leave us with regret and guilt and I don't want this for us, Derek…. Can you understand that? I love you so much that my wish right now is that you could just fall in love with someone less complicated and totally free. An unmarried person and I would be the one to live with our love here inside my heart and with the memory of that kiss…"

"Things at the BAU will be just fine. I'm sure all of our friends would support us in everything, but what I don't get is why can't you leave Clyde? Why is it so difficult for you tell him the truth, Emily? I'm sure it's a torture for him being with someone that doesn't love him, unless he has a cold heart… Just tell him the truth and ask for a divorce…"

"I can't, Derek…" a lump was already forming in her throat.

"Why?" he asked, his eyes sad, pleading.

Emily looked down. She thought for a second before looking back at Derek.

"He took that bullet for me, Derek, and I'll never forget it… It was because I had made a big mistake. I sent the documents getting this gang arrested and thrown in jail! I was the person who confirmed that the case was over, making a big mistake… It was a drug dealer gang who were arrested by Interpol, and the rest of the gang was still fugitives. They threatened to invade the Interpol building, and we worked for weeks on the best security, until we could arrest all of them, and then the building returned to normal. I marked that case as closed, but in fact there was still one person missing and I couldn't see that. I was his target. He was hiding in my office when me and Clyde entered… He was there and only said: 'This is for you…', and Clyde stood immediately in front of me. Clyde was hit and I shot the guy... It was horrible…"

Derek just listened at her speaking. Derek could feel the angst in her voice.

"So it's much more than gratitude. It's guilt also…" She said.

Emily felt so lost now. She felt like she was a piece of paper that had been thrown through the window of an airplane. She was feeling completely ungrounded, but she had someone to rescue her. Derek immediately stood up, walked over to her and pulled her into a tight and warm hug. She hugged him back and they stood there, just holding each other for a while. Derek rested his chin on her head, and kissed her there. After a while he said:

"Since when do you think you can repay love with gratitude and guilt?"

She came out of the hug, telling him:

"I care a lot about Clyde, Derek, and I think that I was really in love when we first started dating, even before I met you. It was on the first day when I started at Interpol. I'm not in love with him anymore because the first day I met you, my life changed… I fell in love with you a little at a time, Derek, working so close with you, always together as partners and sharing laughs outside of work for many years… I got used to not touching you and not telling you how I was really feeling because I knew that we couldn't be together. Partly because of the BAU rules, but also because I never really knew how you felt about me…"

"I was so stupid, fooling myself that the chill I felt every time I saw you was just horny…"

"So when I came back to Interpol Clyde was there, waiting for me... I'm human… I have my needs and I was so tired of being alone, Derek, and since you just let me go things between me and Clyde rekindled in the second month I was there… The past that Clyde and I shared... The strong feelings I have for him is still there even though it's not true love anymore… I care a lot for him after the tragedy happened…"

"And now… what about us?" Derek asked.

"Well… Derek I still don't have a clue about what to do… It's not as simple as you say it is to tell Clyde the truth about us, to ask for a divorce… I can't just act too quickly without thinking about what will be the consequences… I'm going to carefully think what I'm going to do Derek… I'm not going to ask you to be more patient because I know this is unfair to you, and if you can't wait you need to move on and be happy with someone else which I would perfectly understand…"

He hugged her again, very tight, saying:

"I would never do that…" He said.

He held her face gently, looking deep into her eyes.

"I L.O.V.E Y.O.U!" He said, pronouncing each word slowly.

And they kissed again, passionately, not as crazy as before, but like two people in love. After the kiss, she whispered to him, still with their mouths connected:

"I love you too…"

He followed her to the car and waited for her car to take off before going back inside, locking the door.

Clooney was lying on the carpet, sleeping, oblivious to all that talk, but he was awakened by the sound of the punch that Derek had given the wall after she left. He opened his eyes and looked at his owner.

"How does it feel, buddy, belonging to the stupidest person in the world?" Derek said to him.

Clooney lazily stood up and walked over to Derek, offering him some support. Derek ruffled the dog's head.

"Clooney, buddy, I envy you sometimes... You're happy, only eating and sleeping, not having all these thoughts, emotions and worries… Sometimes I wish I had a simple and easy life like you. Sleep and just wake up when I need food and take those walks we have every day in the nice cool fresh air in the park…"

The dog was just listened to Derek speaking.

* * *

Emily got home around midnight. Clyde looked through the curtain when she parked the car in the garage. She walked into her house and saw Clyde staring at her.

"My God Emily… I was so worried about you because I thought something bad had happened… I wish you would have called me and let me know you were coming home this late... I know you always have meetings which is why I didn't call you at your office or cell phone, but I was wheeling back and forth in my wheelchair like a mad man, worried sick about you… What happened to you because you… you look flustered?"

Emily felt so guilty and her stomach turned as she couldn't really look him in the eyes.

"Clyde, I'm sorry... The meeting at work took way longer than I expected and when the meeting was over, I had piles of paperwork that I had to take care of before going home… I'm so very sorry that I forgot to call you. I know I should have, but I was so busy that one thing led to another and it totally slipped my mind. I promise, from now on I will always call you if I'm coming home this late again..."

She walked towards her bedroom. Emily felt so terrible for lying to him. She couldn't tell him the truth. In a way she was telling the truth... One thing did lead to another and that was the very passionate kiss with Derek and the almost love making, but she didn't dare to tell him that, at least not now.

She entered the bathroom of her bedroom and Clyde slipped under the covers, waiting for her. In the shower, she cried a little, while the hot water fell over her body. She placed two hands against the tiles of the wall, and she placed her face on between them. She closed her eyes and remembered the kiss while the tears were mixing with the water, feeling all the angst, pain and heartbreak.

Emily got dressed in the biggest pajamas that she had, and got under the covers with him, but it seemed very wrong for her now. It wasn't that she felt as if she was betraying Derek, but that she had just betrayed Clyde. He was her husband after all. She was also betraying herself, her feelings, and this was already deeply agonizing. As if it wasn't enough with all the feelings she had now, Clyde started to touch her, under the covers, hugging her and going with his hand under her pajamas on her breast.

She stopped him, holding his hand, and said:

"Clyde, I'm so tired. You saw the time I got home…I'm sorry. I know it has been a long time, but please… not today…"

Clyde was a very intelligent man and knew very well that it was much more than her being tired. By the way she said it, by the way she had been acting lately and by her actions. He was also a profiler and he could read this wife very well too. He said nothing. He only accommodated his body again on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Emily turned her back to him in bed and tried to sleep.

* * *

The next day at the BAU, the team traveled to a case. Emily and Derek thanked God because they were sure that they couldn't look at each other and be able to disguise everything as if nothing had happened, not now after that kiss. Not now that their bodies and their looks were like a magnet pulling at each other all the time, and they had to fight against it all the time too. It was very tough to fight in the middle of a bunch of good profilers.

Derek, however, was the one that had more difficulty to disguise emotions and feelings. He was very explosive and true, and he didn't know how to compartmentalize. He didn't even want to learn, but for these last days, he was more locked in his own world, more reserved, smiling a lot less.

The team had been out for two days now, working on the same case. As they hadn't slept much during all this time, Hotch had authorized a rest one night in one of the hotels in that city. All of them had already realized how different Derek had been acting these last few days, mainly because they were together all the time. But Rossi, Ah! Rossi was the man! Derek was in the bar of the hotel. It was almost midnight. Rossi went to Derek's bedroom and knocked on the door and nothing. Soon he knew that Derek would be in the bar. Bingo! Derek was sitting at the counter, looking at his whiskey with his thoughts far, far away from there.

Rossi calmly approached him, sitting down in the high stool beside him. Rossi glanced at him, and then looked at the clerk on the other side of the counter, and said:

"I want the same as this guy here so I can try to travel to where he is now…"

Derek looked at him, and tried to smile, but he failed. Rossi said to him:

"So do you want to share where your thoughts are right now?"

"We had agreed to not profile co-workers…" Derek said.

"Well... I'm not here as your co-worker… I'm here as your friend, as a person who likes you enough to care for you and who knows you enough to realize something is really stealing your joy of living…" Rossi said.

In a way of agreeing with what Rossi had just said, Derek's eyes showed even more sadness and stared at his drink, while one of his hands was playing with the glass on the counter, making small circles, slowly. Rossi said, after tasting a little bit of his own drink:

"Derek, I have an idea of what you are going to tell me because as you know I have been doing profiling way too long even before you were born… but I need to hear it from you… If you want to… and I can tell… you need a trusted friend to tell your thoughts and the things that are troubling you… and you always can count on me Derek and trust me to be discreet… By the look on your face you need to confide in someone or you will lose your sanity…"

Derek then looked at Rossi and shook his head very slowly.

"Rossi, man, I'm sure you know what is going on, but I need to tell you everything… I know that none of us can keep anything from you and you are totally right… if I don't share this with someone I know I will go insane…Here is the full story: Emily and me are in love. She is married to Clyde out of gratitude as he saved her life and he is disabled because of saving her. End of story…."

"Wow… I was pretty sure what this was about, but I needed this confirmation…"

"She can't leave him, but she wants to… to be able be with me and she's making other excuses as well, one of them she being my boss and would screw up the dynamics of our team…But I know the mainly issue is him…"

"I know it seems impossible for the both of you right now… with her being married and she being the boss… but if you two love each other that much and want to be together… you both have to overcome these obstacles by talking fully with each other…she with her husband and eventually to the whole team…"

"Yeah... The thing is….It doesn't look like she's going to do that anytime soon…"

"Well, Derek, it's not an easy situation, but I'm sure that everything is going to be okay because Emily always loved you…"

When Rossi said that, Derek kind of took a fright. He looked at Rossi frowning, as if asking: how so? Taking a short break in the long speech that Rossi was about to make, Derek asked him:

"How do you know? Did she tell you something?"

Rossi gave a sarcastic smile, saying:

"C'mon, Derek, she's always loved you… I think it didn't even take two seconds to realize the first day that I stepped back in the BAU again…"

Derek shook his head again, as if to say to him: Yeah…I'm really dumb. Rossi continued talking:

"Emily will tell her husband the whole truth soon, I believe that, because it's not fair for him either and I'm sure he doesn't want her to stay with him out of duty and gratitude. I'm sure he wants more of his life plus I think he loves her enough to want to see her happy and she can only be happy with you Derek. She needs to do this for not only her sake and yours but for her husband as well… Just give her a little more time…"

"This situation is killing us both. I mean… the other day she came to my place and we kissed and almost got lost in our actions and desires and I don't want this… I know she doesn't want this either… our love is so precious and we don't want to betray and harm anyone… We just want to live our love completely… It's killing me inside when I put my head on my pillow and remember that she is sharing a bed with him and God knows doing what… I don't want to think about this…She needs to ask him for a divorce because I don't know how long I will stand this anymore…"

"Derek, let me give you one piece of advice. I think I know Emily almost as good as you… but take my advice… because I learn from my mistakes…. In the past I gave the women I love an ultimatum and pressured them to make a decision... You know I'm Italian and I'm very hot blooded … You know Emily is a woman that doesn't like to be pushed into anything… Give her all the time and space she needs to make a decision and you know that even if Emily is still in this marriage with Clyde for the wrong reasons it's still a commitment… and Emily would never take a commitment lightly as I know she cares deeply for him… regardless of her reasons of gratitude and guilt… Just continue to be patient because as you know Emily is so special and worth waiting for…"

They talked a little more and Derek said to him:

"Thanks, Man, I was really in need of talking to someone, otherwise I would have exploded…"

"Anytime…" Rossi said.

* * *

The next day, at night, Emily came home from work. She made dinner for them. They ate, and she washed the dishes. They had a maid during the day, but Emily always liked to wash the dishes in the evening to keep herself busy. Later that night, Clyde was watching a movie on TV, and Emily was in the office they had at home. She was reviewing BAU documents. In fact, it was a big excuse to get away from him, and keep busy. JJ called her cellphone:

The team was already working on the same case.

"Hey, JJ…"

"Hi, Emily…"

"Is everything okay?"

"Hmm… Yeah! I mean… the case…it looks like the UNSUB took a pill to be invisible and continue killing… It's really hard to find him…"

"Hmmm… just keep yourselves safe…."

"Hmm… We always try … I'm calling because we just ran out of money for this case and I need your authorization so we can spend one more night or even more nights at the hotel… The team is exhausted…"

"Oh, JJ, sure… totally… you all need some rest…You can use all the money you need…"

"This will help a lot for our sanity…Thank you, Emily…"

"Anytime, JJ, and if there is something else you can call me anytime, please… I miss the field, but I remember how hard it can be…"

Emily was now standing, just looking outside through the window at the starry sky, while she talking to JJ. She lost her mind for a second, and JJ talked on the other side of the line:

"Okay… I will, Hmm, I have to go now…"

Silence. JJ asked:

"Emily?"

"Hmm… I'm here… hmm… okay, JJ… Anything you give me a call…"

"Emily… what's going on? I didn't want to push you, but you came back so differently from London…Know that I'm here for you… I'm still your friend…"

"Oh, thank you so much JJ, I will definitely talk to you when you come back… I need to talk to someone before I explode…"

"Okay… as soon as I get back… take care for now…"

"You too, JJ…Bye…"

"Bye, bye…"

Emily turned suddenly just to see Clyde in her office. She didn't say anything, but her reaction screamed out loud to him. She flushed, her mouth opened and he could almost hear her heart pounding.

"What do you need to talk about so badly that you can't share with your own husband? What is it that is about to make you explode? It must be very serious, but you can't share it with me?"

* * *

**Well it looks like Emily is caught with her pants down so to speak, with Clyde overhearing her talking to JJ. How will she talk herself out of this? Will she able to spin a good web of a lie, like she has been doing so far or will she finally tell him the truth?**

**Please stay tuned to this same channel to find it as always and please continue to give me all your great ideas, thoughts and comments as you all continue to do so very kindly. **

**Thank you very much again to all of you again for all your sweet thoughts as it always means a lot to me. THANK YOU!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily turned suddenly just to see Clyde in her office. She didn't say anything, but her reaction screamed out loud to him. She flushed, her mouth opened and he could almost hear her heart pounding.

"What do you need to talk about so badly that you can't share with your own husband? What is it that is about to make you explode? It must be very serious, but you can't share it with me?"

Emily didn't know that Clyde was eavesdropping on her. He was quiet like a mouse. Usually she could hear him come in, but since she was so fully concentrated on talking to JJ, her mind was lost in that call. Not to mention that Derek was always filling her mind and thoughts so she didn't hear Clyde come wheeling in, even though his entrance was noisy. The thought of him overhearing something that she didn't want him to know made her almost jump out of her skin and bury her head in the sand for a while. Emily tried to remain calm but she was nervous and flushed, but very quickly showed a very cool exterior. Doing her job for such a long time she learned this important skill and she needed it now.

"Clyde, there's no big secret here. That explosion I was referring to is at work. I'm having some issues with my superiors. You know how it is if you don't talk to some of your close friends about this, it can eat you alive. It was JJ. I wanted to talk to her about my frustrations with my superiors. It's making me upset and also the pressures of the job, cases and other work related issues. You know how work can be, Clyde. I figure it's better to tell my coworker about my frustrations because she knows the direct occurrences and what's going on at the office. Besides I don't want to bore you with my office routines and problems. Now that you know this is all work related, are we okay?"

Clyde just looked at her, still suspicious. She was dying to leave the office, but he was in a wheelchair right in front of the door. She looked at him again and said:

"Nothing to worry about, Clyde, because I'll be fine after I blow of some steam with my good friend and coworker JJ..." Then she noticed something and said: "Oh… Is your nose bleeding again? We need to check this up…"

Clyde moved his hand to his nose and realized that there actually was blood running from it. He went to clean himself in the bathroom.

Later that night in bed:

"Emily, could you grab another blanket for me? I'm really cold…"

"Cold? Clyde, I don't understand…It's really hot tonight…"

She sat up in bed and looked at him. He was red. She put her hand on his face.

"Ouch! You have a fever! I'll get the thermometer…" she said

She put another blanket over him, and put the thermometer under his arm and waited.

"It looks like you'll get the flu…" she said.

His body was shaking, and he was sweating. After three minutes, Emily took out the thermometer.

"Wow, Clyde, you have a 102 fever!" she said.

Emily gave him a pill to lower the fever and sat there on the edge of the bed beside him. He was sitting on the bed too, but with the legs under the covers. Emily had brought damp towels to put on his face. While she was moving the towel gently over his face, wiping away the sweat and trying to lower the fever, he was stunned by her beauty, her perfect skin.

"God, how I love you…" he whispered to her.

She froze. She felt a stab in the heart, and some air was stolen, as well as a blow to the stomach. Her mouth opened a little, and her eyes met his. They were very close and he could se clearly the tears forming in each one of her eyes. She exhaled a shaky breath. She was struggling with with what to say. Nothing wanted to come out.

"No need to tell me back... I just wish you could love me even if it's just little because the amount of love that I feel for you is so enormous that even a little love from you would be enough. It would kind of make up the difference in a way…"

She smiled at him, very embarrassed.

"Well, it's better to wash these towels... They're wet… And you, you better lie down and rest now. I'll be back in a minute…"

She went to the laundry room and threw the towels into the washing machine.

Emily sat down on the floor of the laundry room, hugging her own legs and thinking about how everything was supposed to be so different. Thinking that perhaps what she wanted with Derek, she tried to have with Clyde, marrying him as soon as she had returned to London because she knew that love was also about admiration, and she admired him. She was such an idiot… She thought that she could just forget about this 'nonsense' that she felt for Derek, but the only problem was that this 'nonsense' was LOVE, a fucking HUGE and TRUE love. But the situation in which she was now had become absurdly torturous for her. While they were in London she could live a life of devotion to her husband because he would need her, like forever, but now that she had Derek in her thoughts and in her heart and in every ounce of her existence, it was hard for her to hold on.

And in a sudden moment of rationalization, she thought: fuck Emily! Who do you think you can fool! Nobody can return love with gratitude! Until when do you think it will last? Her thoughts were racing now. She realized that although she had this commitment to care for him, she knew that all people deserved something to warm the heart for real, a relationship that would bring the will of living, for both sides. And Emily realized that instead of love, it was the pain that was taking over. But she also considered the many obstacles that prevented her from filing for divorce. On the other hand, what could she do with the love and attraction that she felt so strong for Derek? On the verge of taking her to madness. The worst thing was that she tried to visualize how her life would be in a year? But she couldn't see any changes, unless she did something.

Realizing that her thoughts would not take her anywhere, and her husband was in need of her, she got up and went to the bedroom. There she lay down beside him, facing him, and asked:

"Are you feeling better?"

"Better now when looking at your beautiful face…"

She smiled even if she didn't want to, and said:

"I'm serious, Clyde…"

"Me too…"

She grimaced and said:

"I'm talking about the fever!"

"I think I am… At least I'm not shaking anymore…"

"Good. Now try to sleep and if you need anything you can wake me please… anytime…"

"Emily?"

"Hmm?"

"Let me hug you… just a hug…I mean… I can't even remember when the last time I hugged you was. Let me feel your body… just a hug…please... just tonight…"

She approached him under the covers and Clyde hugged her, and closed his eyes. He wanted to travel back in his mind to a time when they were happy.

"Remember our first kiss?" He said.

"Yes! At my mother's boring party, when we ran away from there…" Clyde smiled as if agreeing. Emily said. "I had to listen to my mother cursing me for months after that…"

"You know, on that day, you made me the happiest man in the world... I mean, I've had dozens of women, but I could never really feel anything for them. I had never loved… Sometimes I wondered if I was like those psychopaths that just can't feel anything, but it fell apart the moment I met you, and after that kiss, running through the rain to the hotel, and when we made love like crazy that afternoon, I felt like a little boy, so fragile and needy, because for the first time in my life I was not in control of my feelings and I knew you had won me for life!"

Emily was lying on his chest, and he had his hand around her body. Luckily for her, he could not see the sadness in her eyes. She remained quiet, just listening to him talk. He continued:

"I know that at some point the whole thing collapsed and you just went to America without even saying goodbye to me and I understood your reasons for leaving behind that time as well as I'll understand if you leave me for someone who can make you really happy because I know I can't do it anymore and I'm not talking about sex, but love…"

At that point, she raised her head to look at him, her eyes shining, almost teary, and he said looking at her:

"I love you so much… I want you to be happy and I would not stand seeing you sad…"

"Somehow, I love you too, Clyde…"

"Yeah, but before that 'somehow' turn into a brotherly love, please, I'd rather you leave me…"

There was an exchange of intense looks, and he could almost see that was already happening, but before he could be sure of it, she looked away to take her place in bed again.

"Better we try to sleep now… You have to rest and I have to work tomorrow…"

* * *

Next day, on Thursday, the team was back in Quantico. It was around seven PM. Before Morgan could make his way to go home, Hotch called him from the top of the stairs, in the middle of all the other profilers that were each one at their desks.

"Morgan, before you go, do you have a minute?"

"Oh, no, Hotch, I decided to leave all the reports from the last case for tomorrow because I really need to go home…" Morgan said, carrying his go bag on his shoulder already.

"It's not about the case, Morgan…" Hotch said.

Very upset, Morgan made his way up the stairs, following his boss into his office. Inside, Hotch asked dryly:

"Is there something going on?"

Very impatient, Morgan returned the question:

"Is there something professional somewhere in that question?"

Hotch almost made a face of astonishment. He didn't say anything so Morgan continued:

"Is there something wrong with my performance at work?"

"There's nothing wrong with your performance at work, Morgan, but I can clearly see that something is bothering you, and if it's something that has to do with work, I need to know. If you're no longer satisfied with the work or if you're going through some kind of issue here in the BAU, I need to know now…"

Rubbing his forehead with his fingers, very nervous, Morgan said:

"Yes! There is something bothering me, Hotch, but it's a very personal matter. I don't want to share it. I promise that this will not affect my performance in the field, and if it does, you can pull me out... Can I go now? I really need to go home…"

"Okay…" Hotch said, with his best stoic face.

Morgan came out of there, closing the door and very surreptitiously looking at the bottom of the corridor, where Emily's office was, with a mad desire to get in there and grab her in his arms without thinking about the consequences. But he knew he couldn't so he made his path to the elevator.

To his sweet surprise, she was there in the Parking garage of the BAU. She was inside her car, waiting for him. As soon as she saw him coming from the elevator, she got out of her car. He approached her and she said:

"How was the case?"

"Pretty tough…Three days chasing the son of a bitch and then he ended killing himself…"

"I'm sorry…"

He rested his arm on her car, but they were really carefully because they knew that that place was full of security cameras. He said:

"I miss you…."

She could see the sadness in his eyes. She said:

"Me too…"

He could see the truth in her eyes too. She said to him:

"Derek, you need to go back to what you were before… I mean… I know how hard our situation is right now…. We'll find a way, Derek, but you can't let this waiting turn into a torture for you…. You can't let this situation affect the fun and captivating way that you always had, which was one of the thousand reasons why I fell in love with you…"

With sad but determined eyes, he said to her:

"It's just impossible for me to imagine you in his arms, Emily. This is killing me... When I put my head on the pillow and imagine that you might be making love to him... It's a fucking pain!"

"My heart, my soul, my thoughts, are already yours, Derek, but I will let you know something if it really makes you feel better. Me and Clyde… we don't make love anymore… He's totally paralyzed from the waist down, and when I say totally, I mean totally... When he tries to kiss me I always avoid as good as I can so you don't have to worry…"

"I know I said I would never pressure you, but you need to ask for a divorce, Emily…"

"I'm really considering doing this, Derek…"

He was looking down, and when he heard this, he raised his head to face her. His eyes looked like they were smiling now. There was a different brightness there. She couldn't help but to smile at him, seeing such happiness in his eyes.

"If I could just hold you now…" He said to her.

"We can't take too long here, Derek… someone can come…"

"I know… When are you going to talk to him?"

"Hmm… I'm still thinking… the right moment will come… Right now he has a strong flu so we have to wait a little longer…"

With that said they both went home, but each one in their own car. He was following her until their paths to their homes coincided, and they were exchanging flashes using the headlights of their cars as if their cars were flirting with each other. And it put a smile on their faces.

* * *

At Emily's place, during dinner:

"So, how was your day? Are you feeling better today?

"Yeah… it looks like the fever is gone, but my nose has bled three times... It's kind of worrying me…"

"Then we need to see a doctor…"

"Well, if this continues the next week… then we go…"

Clyde held her hand on the table, saying:

"I have an eternal debt to God for having sent you to take care of me and I always wanted to take care of you…"

She smiled at him, nervously, and said:

"You took care of me, Clyde… You almost died taking care of me…"

He was already holding her hand, so he tightened his grip, saying:

"But I don't want you to stay with me because of that. Never!"

They were just looking into each other eyes. She said nothing to that, but he could see into her eyes.

* * *

Saturday afternoon, JJ and Emily met at a coffee shop that they picked because they thought they wouldn't bump into anyone they'd know, especially Garcia. The last thing Emily wanted to do was to run into her even though she was one of her best friends, but she always let things slip out and couldn't be discreet like JJ. They had set a time to meet, and Emily got there a few minutes before JJ, waiting for her at a table. After twenty minutes, JJ entered the place, walking towards the table Emily sat at. Emily got up for a quick kiss on JJ's cheek and JJ said to her:

"I'm so sorry for the delay. Henry and Will were getting ready for a soccer game at the club and I was helping him to get ready... anyways…"

"Oh, no problem, JJ. I'm sorry for taking you from them as I know how busy our workdays are…"

"Oh, no, Emily, I really miss our talks…"

They ordered two cups of coffee, and JJ said to Emily:

"Emily I'm dying to know what's troubling you so bad because the way you've sounded and acted these last couple of months... since you came back from London I think… but these last few days, wow… it must be something really big… I'm all ears!" JJ said and smiled at Emily, in her angel ways.

Emily was now a little nervous and agitated.

"Yes, JJ, there is something that's really bothering me and I'm so lost that I don't know what to do... It's really eating me up inside that if I don't confide in someone that I can trust I think I will go crazy… and I know that I can always trust you to keep everything between us… and that's one of the reasons I didn't invite Penelope. I love her to death but you know... she wouldn't tell anyone intentionally, but she has a way of letting things slip out accidentally and also by her actions…."

"Yeah…" JJ totally agreed. "And, yes, you can always trust me just like in the past. We can always confide in each other and that will never change. Please tell me everything that's troubling your soul and I'll try to help you with whatever you need, advice or just a friendly ear or moral support…."

Emily was really nervous again. She bit her lip.

"JJ, this is about Derek and our true feelings for each other. This is the other reason that I didn't want Pen to be here because what I'm about to tell you could hurt Pen's feelings. I don't know how she truly feels about him… Through the many flirtations they have, I can never be sure of her true feelings for Derek and although Derek flirts with her too, I know Derek only has brotherly love for her…"

JJ suspected something like this but to get this confirmed was still a little shocking for her. Realizing that JJ was kind of shocked, Emily said to her:

"Yes, JJ, I'm in love with Derek and he feels the same way about me… It's just that we realized this a little too late… When he and Pen went to London to help me with the move, I kind of hinted to Derek that I wanted a husband and kids, giving him the hint that it was him that I wanted this with, but he didn't say anything so I thought he never felt the same about me since he just quietly went back to Quantico… Clyde was there all the time and we had been dating a long time ago when I just started to work at Interpol so there was a long history between us and I didn't want to be lonely so we tried again…"

"Wait… wait… Emily… Are you really telling me that just because Derek didn't say anything to you at that time, you just jumped into Clyde's arms because he was easily there?"

"JJ, it's not just that… When I went to Interpol for the first time we had a relationship and several things happened between us…Those things just ended and I came to BAU, but after the whole Doyle thing and I thought that I didn't fit at the BAU anymore… I went back to London and I knew that at the moment he asked if I didn't miss that, he was talking about him… about us… and I gave Derek a hint, but nothing… I was so tired of being lonely and I never thought my life would take another 360 degrees turn again…I didn't think fate would put Derek in my path again and that our feelings would be so overpowering and uncontrollable like that…"

"Wow! Emily! I knew that you and Derek had something more than friendship and I hoped you two would realize it, but I'm sorry it took so long and that you married Clyde before it… I know these are huge obstacles to overcome, but if you love each other that much which I know you do, then you can work together to overcome these mountains and obstacles…"

"The other night, at his place, we wanted to talk, but we did more than talk... We made out and it almost lead to sex. Luckily we were saved by a whistling kettle. JJ, I don't know what to do. I can't leave Clyde and my marriage, but my soul and heart is crying out to be with Derek…"

JJ then took Emily's hand and said:

"Clyde wouldn't want you to stay with him if you don't love him as much as he loves you, Emily. I know he loves you so much Emily. I saw how he looked at you at my birthday party. I'm pretty sure Clyde loves you enough to let you go and you need to tell him the truth soon because this is not fair to him, you and Derek… He would want you to be happy and you staying with him out of duty, gratitude and guilt is not going to work out for any of you…."

"The thing is JJ, I have no idea how I'm going to tell him that me and Derek are in love with each other…He lost everything and I know how much he loves me… He keeps telling me that he has a reason for living and that the reason is me… He has no relatives or anyone else in this world, just me, but this is weighing me down so hard that I can't take this anymore, but I just don't know what to do…"

"Emily, honesty is always the best policy as the saying goes and you need to talk to Clyde very soon and tell him nothing but the complete truth. I know this is not an easy decision to make because I know you care for him deeply still and you don't take a commitment as marriage lightly, but you can't stay married to him if you don't love him and want him like you want Derek. The kissing and almost lovemaking proves how much you two are really in love with each other…. Be honest to yourself, do you really think Clyde is happy now?"

"At least he has me, JJ…"

JJ held Emily's hand again and said:

"He can always have you, Emily… You can still be his friend and care for him. You can still help him with everything, but you need to be happy with Derek…"

Emily then tightened her grip on JJ's hands and said:

"You always make things look so easy..."

JJ smiled and said:

"...and I will be with you every step of the way…."

"Thank you!" Emily said.

* * *

On Monday, at the BAU, Garcia had already presented a new case for the team. It was a group of terrorists that was acting in New York and it involved high-ranking government issues. After Garcia presented the case, Hotch went to Emily's office to talk to her. He knocked on the door and heard:

"Come in…"

He opened the door and said:

"You have a second?"

"Sure."

"Emily, I need you to go on this case with the team... I'm afraid we'll need you to deal with the political issues…"

This caught her by surprise. She said:

"Hotch, are you sure? I mean, Clyde has this strong flu with high fever almost every day… He needs me…"

"I wouldn't be asking if it wasn't extremely important." He declared.

She thought for two seconds and said:

"Okay, but I don't have a go bag here…"

"Do you think 30 minutes will be enough for you can go get it?"

"I think so..."

She got up and went home to get her go bag.

In the BAU plane:

"It looks like the BAU plane is even more flowered today…" Rossi said.

Emily smiled at him.

"And Emily has also some kind of magic because it looks like she brought a smile to someone's face here again…" Reid said.

"Okay… Let's review the case…" Hotch said, and Derek and Emily mentally thanked him.

* * *

After two days working on this difficult case about terrorists in New York, Hotch thought it was best for the entire team to take a night's rest so that they could return with their minds renewed. Emily and Derek had barely seen each other during that time because while he was in the field, she was talking to the political authorities of that city, but in the lobby of the hotel when all of them were at the hotel reception, Hotch said:

"Well, I can share a bedroom with Rossi, and Morgan, Reid, is it okay if you two share a room?"

"Oh, no, Hotch, please, I always share hotel room with him, and Reid never lets me sleep. He talks about the case 24 hours a day… Please…."

Reid frowned, surprised by the older man's words, but he remained in silence for Derek's sake.

"Okay, I can share a room with Reid and Rossi shares with Morgan…" Hotch said. "Prentiss, is it okay if you share a bedroom with JJ and Blake?"

Of course she would've preferred staying alone, but she said:

"Huh, Sure ..."

It was late, and they were all very tired so they went to the respective bedrooms. They occupied three bedrooms on the 3rd floor.

About two hours later, around midnight, Emily lied on her bed. Her cell phone vibrated with a message saying:

"You know, I don't think I can share a bedroom with Rossi, having you in the same Hotel... # 210, 21st floor, we can see the stars from here…See you…"

* * *

**Hmmmmmmm…. I know… I know… sorry for ending it here, but the chapter is already big! Will Emily follow her heart and meet Derek or she will she listen to her head and not see him… breaking his heart and her own heart a little more? ****Please… let me know what you all think because it is all up to you: if Emily will go or not meet Derek in his hotel bedroom****, because I have not decided it yet. **

**I have to say something else:**

**1 -) thank the courtesy of a reader who offered to be beta. Surely I'll need your help.**

**2 -) Thanks to the super beta Lizzabet, for you help.**

**3 -) Thanks Paul for your support.**

**4 -) Maybe from the next chapter the story will be rated M.**

**Thank you all !**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, guys! Sorry this slight delay in updating, but I've been having turbulent days recently. For this chapter, I have to say the story is now rated M for smut, so if you're underage, please skip this chapter.**

**Another thing: I used a song for this chapter, then, I would advise, if you can hear the music with them, it'll be cool and we share this exciting moment with them.**

**The music is: Justin Timberlake - Mirrors**

**I do not own Emily, or Morgan, or any of the mentioned characters, nor music, nor Justin Timberlake.**

**Good reading!**

* * *

It was a big hotelroom. There were three beds in it, and Emily, JJ and Blake were lying in the beds. The room was dark, and it had very little clarity. Emily's cellphone had vibrated with that tantalizing message, and she had cursed herself for picking the bed farthest from the door. Maybe it was because the fact that Blake had already caught the bed near the door, leaving the bed in the middle to JJ.

The first thing that came to her mind while reading the message, was that it was completely nonsense. Not in a million years would she do that. During all those times they had stayed at a hotel, she had never thought about doing this, not even a little. Although, she had always dreamed about it and forever would. At that moment, there was no way she didn't get reminded of the kiss. She closed her eyes and remembered that hot and delicious kiss from the blessed day. And suddenly she found herself sitting on the bed, as if her head wasn't listening to the rest of her body. She had and impulse to go, but she still managed to halt her movements.

And in a huge mental battle between going or not going, reason or emotion? To reflect, or to act? To control, or to surrender? But control what? How can I control this fucking feeling called love? Fucking Love! It can't be controlled, but Emily Prentiss could. Until when? A part of her mind made plans to use the light from the cell phone to get her clothes, go to the bathroom to change, and sneak out of the room. But the other part said that it was not right. Fuck! What should she do?

* * *

It had gone twenty minutes since Derek sent the message to her, and he was sitting on the bed with his phone in hand, waiting for at least a message as answer. But so far nothing! He was getting impatient. That was something new to him. First, because he had never received a 'no' from any woman in his whole life. But she was not just any woman: she was simply the best! In everything! And he didn't even waste time thinking of words to describe her, because that would be impossible! Second because of the love. Yes, love. Derek Morgan was in love with the beautiful and adorable Emily Prentiss. He looked to his iPod that he had prepared for the scene, and also the small lamp, just to give a little clarity to the environment.

"Damn, why didn't I do this before? Years before?" he cursed himself.

Five minutes later, he had lost hope in her showing up. He put on his pajamas, getting ready for bed. Then he got up from the bed, and put the phone on the bedside table. As soon as his cellphone touched the table, he heard a small knock on the door, so low that he got confused, thinking that maybe it could've been the sound of the phone knocking on the small table. But even so he went to check the door.

He opened it, and their eyes met. His face lit up in such a way that she could see the love, and she smiled in a mix of happiness and embarrassment.

He reached for her. She took his hand, and he pulled her into the room, locking the door quickly behind her. He pulled her into his arms, holding her by the waist. They wanted to talk, but what could they do when the bodies screamed louder than words? And they kissed passionately, losing their breaths.

After kissing for a long time, she broke the kiss, but remained in his strong arms.

"I love you so much, Derek. I really wish that this doesn't feel so wrong…" she said, sadly.

"It's not wrong that we act out our love, Emily… Hey, we love each other, we belong to each other, and we're going to find a way, but we can't delay our happiness one second more…"

She looked into his eyes, wishing that things were really that easy. They were still hugging, and he said to her, in a voice so low, as if he wanted to calm her heart:

"Emily, please, think about us right now, just think about me and you. Give this moment to us because we deserve it... Leave everything out and pretend that it's just me and you here…"

She stared him in the eyes, but he could see that she kind of agreed with him, and he whispered to her again:

"Just you and me, okay?"

Very subtly she nodded.

Derek then broke the hug, only to put his little plan into practice. He walked to the corner of the bedroom where the iPod was, on the table, and pressed the button. She liked the first chords of the music. He reached out his hand to her. She smiled and gave her hand to him, and he brought Emily to a more spacious place in the room, as he quickly pulled her back into a hug again, whispering softly to her:

"I want you to close your eyes and let's just transport our minds for our last dance. I want you to pay attention to every single word of this song. This is for you, every single word, and it has been that way for a long time, okay?"

Their bodies were now dovetailed perfectly for the dance. He took one of her hands and place on his chest, on his heart.

Aren't you somethin' to admire?

Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror

And I can't help but notice

You reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and

The glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always

Parallel on the other side

Cause with your hand in my hand

And a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'll be tryin' to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

Cause I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

Staring back at me

Aren't you somethin', an original?

Cause it doesn't seem really as simple

And I can't help but stare, cause

I see truth somewhere in your eyes

I can't ever change without you

You reflect me, I love that about you

And if I could, I

Would look at us all the time

Cause with your hand in my hand

And a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'll be tryin' to pull you through

You just gotta be strong

Cause I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

Staring back at me

Yesterday is history

And tomorrow's a mystery

I can see you lookin' back at me

Keep your eyes on me

Keep your eyes on me

Cause I don't wanna lose you now

I'm lookin' right at the other half of me

The vacancy that sat in my heart

Is a space that now you hold

Show me how to fight for now

And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy

Comin' back into you once I figured it out

You were right here all along

It's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

I couldn't get any bigger

With anyone else beside me

And now it's clear as this promise

That we're making

Two reflections into one

Cause it's like you're my mirror

My mirror staring back at me

Staring back at me

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

Baby, you're the inspiration for this precious song

And I just wanna see your face light up since you put me on

So now I say goodbye to the old me, it's already gone

And I can't wait wait wait wait wait to get you home

Just to let you know, you are

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

Girl you're my reflection, all I see is you

My reflection, in everything I do

You're my reflection and all I see is you

My reflection, in everything I do

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

You are, you are the love of my life

After listening to more than half of the music, paying careful attention to the lyric, she had goosebumps from head to toe. They danced cheek to cheek, and she whispered, stuttering, almost in tears, as if it was a pain to confess:

"Derek, It's... beautiful… I want you!"

Well, this was a really big thing: the two sexiest people on the planet! Together! The Universe could explode in that moment. They were dancing, kissing and moving in sync to the music and Derek slowly started to lead her to the bed. The love and desire was just too deep to turn back and prevent what was about to happen that night.

The back of her legs touched the bed. Derek had his hands on her waist. He picked up the fabric of the shirt she was wearing, and gently pulled it from inside her pants. He grabbed the edge of her shirt and pulled it over her head, at once, breaking the kiss only to the take of the piece of fabric. And his hand returned to her waist.

After another long kiss, Derek moved his hands to the opening of her pants, waiting only a second to see if she would try to stop him, but she did nothing so he unbuttoned and slowly unzipped her pants.

Emily's pants were a little baggy so when he undid the button and zipper, and pulled her body closer to him, she dropped the pants, leaving them in a pile around her feet. She was not in her best lingerie, but her black lace panties and bra were perfect with her creamy, white skin. She made the slightest movement, finishing to get rid of her pants.

Derek was still fully dressed, while Emily was only in panties, bra and black heels. He broke the kiss just to look at her, and in her eyes there was no fear, or insecurity, or anxiety anymore. She smiled seductively at him, as he stepped back, still holding one of her hands, only to look over every little inch of her body. Then he picked her up in his arms, giving her a little time to get rid of her heels by shaking her feet, and then Derek gently put her on the bed.

Emily lied very comfortable on the bed, putting her arms above her head in a kind of stretch while Derek, still standing, admired the beauty of her body. He took off his own clothes and shoes, looking and smiling at her all the time and she smiled back at him as well. And finally he joined her on the bed. In a moment so magical it had become hard to tell who was whom in that scene.

Emily fulfilled her desire to strum the strong muscles of Derek's Morgan body. Ah! How she had dreamed about it! And Derek Morgan also delighted himself with every inch of of Emily Prentiss' beautiful body, her perfect curves! They moaned in pleasure as their tongues danced together inside their mouths. Without breaking the kiss, as in another magically moment, Derek worked on opening the clasp of her bra, on her back. Emily arched her back to help him, but he managed to do this with his experience. He threw her bra on the floor and broke the kiss to look at her breasts. Her mouth opened slightly. Derek looked at her with a smirk on his lips, and he mentally thanked her for not being able to read the insanities that were going on inside his mind now.

And they kissed more ardently. Derek kissed her neck and ear. He licked her ear, making her shiver again, and she could already feel the heat throughout her body. She could feel her heart pounding. Still running his tongue in her ear, he whispered to her:

"I want to taste every inch of your body ..."

She let out a short moan and he ran his tongue down her neck, until her delicious breasts, and they were ready for him. As he licked and sucked her breasts and nipples, he felt her body getting shaky from pure pleasure. She was panting, his heart was racing, and when the pleasure was too much, she whispered:

"Derek..."

Derek Morgan wasn't the kind of man who disappointed any woman, especially this woman! Especially not Emily Prentiss! Especially not the woman he loved! After sucking her nipples, his tongue slowly made his way from her breasts to the navel, making small circles with his tongue as he slowly got rid of her panties, throwing them on the floor to the rest of their clothes, pausing for just a second to look at her. It didn't take long before Emily grabbed the sheets with both hands and her body was writhing with pleasure, and Derek Morgan totally plunged headlong into her bowels. Emily writhed and moaned loudly.

"Hmmm, Derek… Derek…"

She had not imagined that oral sex would happen so soon during their first time together, but they'd already known each other for so long and so well, it was as if they'd always belonged to each other. Derek Morgan and his tongue were a duo that used to drive any woman crazy with pleasure, but he reserved it only for her. He had been dreaming for so long about this day, the day he could literally taste her, and he loved it! He fucking loved the way she tasted!

Derek felt her legs begin to twitch, and her breathing accelerate, and the moans became more and more intense so he intensified the moves of his tongue until he felt that she twitched and held his head in the middle of her legs as a sign for him to stop, and let out a loud moan.

Emily felt her body relax gradually and slowly her breathing got back to normal. He lay down beside her, stroking her hair, waiting for her to recover.

Once recovered, she smiled at him seductively. He smiled back. When he started to get close again, Emily surprised him in a swift and determined motion. She knelt on the bed, and slowly she took off his underwear, smiling seductively at him, biting her lip once she saw his size.

"Do you have a condom?"

It disappointed him a little, but having a naked Emily Prentiss next him still made him happy. He opened his wallet that was on the headboard, and opened it to take out the condom, and moved in a way that told her that he would conduct the situation. Very alpha male! But she held him, putting her hand on his muscular and strong chest, saying a short:

"Nah!"

Being dominated by a woman was unusual for him, but he smiled at her, and lay down again with his back against the pillows. Emily opened the condom, smiling at him, and she showed him her skill in putting the condom on him, and if Derek wasn't an experienced and controlled man, he could've come right there, at the first touch of her hands.

Soon she was on top of him, filling her entire body with him, not only the body but also the soul, and her whole being. They were breathing fast, making love while their bodies were pulsating in flames, and Derek just let himself be carried away by her moves, with his strong and firm hands on her hips, helping with her intense movements, fitting perfectly in her narrow paths.

And they looked each other in the eyes all the time. It was a full complicity, both of them were completely delivered to each another and there was a love and desire that they had saved a long time for each other. They wanted it. They wanted each other, and they wanted this for life. They wanted it so much that they extended to the maximum moment of climax, only to have the body intertwined with the other.

But after a long time and many positions it was difficult to hold the climax. Derek then suddenly dominated the final moments of that amazing dance of sweaty bodies, in a game of giving and taking pleasure, in a perfect rhythm to the sounds of moanings, and Justin Timberlake. Morgan thrusting hard inside her, and finally, they came, together in a very intense orgasm.

They fell exhausted in each other's arms. Morgan was still breathing hard, pulling Emily closer in his strong and warm arms, kissing her on the head, and for a while they stayed there, feeling each other's presence, feeling the hearts decelerate, and the breath calm down. They fully hugged, and Derek stroked her arms.

Derek had set music to play without stopping, so he got up to turn it off, and to turn off the little light that was on. He went back to bed, getting under the covers with Emily, hugging her.

"I love you…"

"I love you too, Derek…"

After a few moments:

"Derek, I should go back to my room…"

"Oh, Emily… Please… Spend the night. Let's not break this moment… You can go in the early morning…"

"Derek, we are surrounded by profiler… the best ones!"

"I know… That's why I got this floor, very far from where they are…"

"What did you say to Rossi?"

"I didn't need to say anything…"

"You didn't say anything to him? Didn't he see you leaving?"

"He did, Emily, but …"

"He knows?" She was apprehensive now.

Derek said nothing.

"Derek! Rossi know we're here?"

"Relax, Emily… First of all, I didn't even know you were gonna be here and even if he knows, he won't tell anything never! You know Rossi."

"I know Rossi is a good friend of Hotch's…"

"Relax, he won't tell him anything… This moment is ours… And Emily what happened here was so big... It meant a lot to me and I don't intend to keep this hidden, even if I have to leave the BAU and go to another department so we can be together. Of course, I won't tell anyone for now, but it's better we start to think about this or do you intend to leave our love only in the backstage?"

"No…" She said, thoughtfully. "I know that what happened in this room tonight didn't happen under the best circumstances, but I did everything in pure consciousness with full assurance of what I was doing, without a hint of regret, Derek, and we'll find a way to make things right for all of us…"

Derek then set the alarm to ring at 5.30am. It was almost 3am when he finally fell asleep.

The alarm rang, and both of them woke up. They looked at each other and smiled: it had not been a dream! It was real!

"Morning, princess…"

She smiled, stretching in bed.

"Morning…"

Fighting against Morgan's actions trying to keep her there for more hugs and kisses, Emily managed to get up and get dressed. He then dressed quickly too. Emily opened the door, but Derek closed it again, hugging her tightly.

"It was the most special night of my life… Really! I want you in my life!" he said.

"It was very special for me too, Derek, and I want you in my life too…"

They kissed each other passionately one last time, before she opened the door to leave, but he came out with her.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm going to take my princess to her floor…"

She smiled and her heart melted. She felt protected, She felt loved, And she liked it.

* * *

It was 5.45am when Emily opened the door to the room she was sharing with Blake and JJ. Blake's bed was empty, indicating that she probably was in the shower. The room was still half dark because the sun was just beginning to rise, but she could see JJ's eyes through the darkness. She looked at her friend, sitting on the bed she had slept in.

"I can see a different glow in your eyes." she said, teasingly.

"JJ, could you not..." She bit her lip, totally out of words.

"No, Emily. That's okay! You and Derek totally deserve it! And I… I don't know anything! I didn't see anything!" JJ said, as if she was promising complicity.

"Thank you..." Emily said, relieved.

"But I want all the juicy details later..."

"That's a promise..."

* * *

All of them had already had breakfast at the hotel, and all the SUVs were parked in front of the hotel waiting for them. Hotch, Rossi, Blake, Reid and Derek were together, waiting for Emily and JJ.

After not too long, Emily and JJ joined the small circle of BAU members gathered at the reception of the hotel. Once JJ and Emily had joined them, even before the circle could dissipate towards the exit, Blake asked Emily, making a point of everyone to listen, just to tease her:

"Where did you spend the night, Emily? I noticed that you weren't in the room the whole night..."

Derek lowered his head, Reid raised his eyebrow and twisted his mouth to the side, Rossi tried to disguise, JJ tried to disguise, and Hotch looked at Emily, waiting for her to answer, not before checking the reactions of everyone around. Emily at her best ability to compartmentalize, said:

"Thank you for caring about my life, but I just needed some space to use my cellphone to check on my sick husband at home… I just didn't want to disturb you and JJ."

There was a tension in the air, and this tension told Hotch that there was something more behind the story, but he couldn't deal with it now. The case was waiting and it was urgent. Hotch said:

"Let's go…"

* * *

Hours later, at the police station, Hotch found an opportunity, and he called Rossi to ask:

"Morgan spent the whole night in the room?"

"Well, Hotch, you know, I don't have that provision that these young boys have... I'm an old man so I slept the whole night and as far as I saw, he was there all the time..."

Well, that was a zero response for Hotch.

* * *

After another day of hard work, the team was able to solve the case and they had access to all the information that they needed, thanks to the contact with local politicians that Emily had made. The team really wanted to go home. Even though it was night, they decided to return to Quantico. They arrived at the BAU around ten o'clock at night, just to leave the paperwork there and go home. Derek waited for Emily in the parking lot in the basement. He waited inside his car to make sure that she would be alone. When she unlocked her car with the key, he appeared. She was startled, and said:

"Derek! Not here…"

"I miss you, Princess…"

"I know… me too… but we can't risk it now, Derek…"

"I know… I just wanted you to know that I can't be without you one more second, Emily…"

She leaned on her car, saying:

"Derek, I don't to give you any hope, but I decided to talk to Clyde and ask for the divorce…"

Derek's face lit up and he smiled widely for her. She said:

"I can't live without you anymore… well… I can live, but I want to be happy. I want to live and not only exist anymore. I've only existed, for almost my whole life and you bring life to my life… I love you, and I want to be with you… I don't know how I'm going to do this…. I have no idea how this will be in the future, because I want to continue taking care of Clyde as a friend… I will never abandon him and you have to be aware of this too… But this weekend, I'm going to talk to him…"

"I want to kiss you right now…"

"Me too…but we cannot… Just give some more time, Derek… I promise…. This is a promise… I'm going to talk to him and ask for the divorce and then we think about what to do regarding to BAU…" She got into her car, and Derek closed the door for her, saying:

"When you miss me, listen to our song…"

She smiled at him, and left.

* * *

Emily got to her house, feeling full, feeling happy and complete. She was not dating or married to the love of her life, Derek, yet, but now she knew that they were together on the same wavelength and love. Despite all the mishaps they would still have to face, she had now a light spirit, and peace. She would not give up on being happy, not now, not for the life she was envisioning in a future, even though dozens of factors could be demonstrated the contrary. She parked the car in the garage of her home, and took a deep breath. She opened the door of her house, taking perhaps the first step to a new path.

* * *

**There you have it folks and do you think Emily will be able to ask Clyde for a divorce or will something happen to foil all her intentions and plans and ruin her happiness? Please let me know what you think and please continue to give me your great ideas and suggestions. Thank you very much to you all and please continue to read on this same channel. **


	11. Chapter 11

**I own nothing**

* * *

Emily opened the door to her house and even before she could take the first step inside, she felt a delicious smell of food coming from the kitchen. She looked inside her house and saw the table set with crystal glasses and candles. It also had several candles everywhere in both the dining room and living room. There was no other lights on, only the candles, but the place was clear enough that she could see that there was at least twenty dozens of red roses, mirrored in large pots, scattered in two rooms. Emily was in shock, paralyzed by that scene. Before she could even close the door behind her, Clyde came out from the kitchen.

"You are home!"

Totally embarrassed and speechless, she said:

"Hmm, yeah…"

She turned her back to him to lock the door, and mentally prayed. Then she said:

"What is this?"

"I made a special dinner for us…"

"But what's the occasion? I mean… why?"

"Can't I cook for my beautiful wife?"

"Yes… of course…"

Emily always enjoyed the peace that her home brought to her, the place where she could, in most cases, be herself. She liked to be at home because she could turn off her compartmentalization button, but not now... More than ever, she had to use her best skill.

In the middle of the living room, she saw everything that he had prepared for her; the flowers, the table, the candles, the smell of delicious food... Not that she was hungry, in fact, that scene had stolen the hunger she'd felt before. But seeing all that, she thought: wow, he must have had to work hard on this.

"I love… I love everything… Thank you!" she said.

"You don't have to thank me, Em… I might have some good news and I wanted a special occasion to share this with my wife…"

"What's the news?"

"Hmm… You will have to wait… not so fast, darling… I'm going to bring out the food and then we'll talk…"

"Let me do it…"

She was worried about him bringing platters of hot food from the oven to the dining room, but he stopped her:

"No, No… Tonight I'm going to do everything for my princess…"

Oh no, don't say this word… Don't say princess, please… She was begging mentally.

Emily hadn't even taken off the heavy bag that she carried on her shoulder, as if she could by a miracle go back in time and open the door again to find a totally different scene.

"So while you bring the food I'll go to the bathroom, wash my hands and leave my stuff there…"

"Okay…"

She had been very determined to ask for the divorce when she arrived at home. Well, until the garage. The issue was still very strong in her mind, she was still determined, but not like before, because she knew it would be more difficult than she thought. She would talk to him that night. She had decided that she would expose her feelings, saying how she was not happy in this marriage. The divorce issue would end the dinner, no matter what, as bitter dessert for both sides, not only for him, because it was extremely painful for her too. She wiped her face in the bathroom of her bedroom, and looked at herself, saying to the image of herself in the mirror, remembering the song "Mirrors": I'm going do it my love, I'm going to do this for us! We are going to be together. She touched the mirror remembering the lyrics, saying that Derek was there, just on the other side of the mirror, and he reflected in all her being.

Emily returned to the dining room, and everything was beautifully flawless: porcelain tableware, and crystal glasses, the candles, and the food with smoke coming from the warmth. He had cooked escalope of filet mignon with mashed potatoes and a wonderful salad with lettuce, carrots, tomatoes and hearts of palm. He waited for her to sit and took his place on the table.

"Hmm, it looks delicious…" she said

"I would cook pasta with cheese, your favorite, but then I remembered that you don't eat pasta at night…"

"Clyde, this looks delicious, really…so sweet of you…"

Even before they started eating, she asked again:

"What is the news you had to tell me?"

"C'mon, Em, no rush, let's have dinner first… then we talk… okay?"

They began to eat, and after about three bites she said:

"Hmm, Clyde, I wasn't really hungry, but this is really delicious…"

"So, how was your trip?"

"Hmm… it was tiring and exhausting, but we managed to catch the gang… I had to talk to all the politicians in the city…"

"Hmm… really… why?"

"Oh, I don't want to get into details of the case, Clyde… please…"

"Okay, you're right… It's just that I can see you're a little tense, or very tense, but I'm happy everything ended well…"

"Yeah, but…. Please… let's not talk about work now…"

"I'm sorry, darling… We can deal with that later…"

"Deal with what?"

"Your tension… You know how good I can be at giving a massage…"

Emily gulped, thinking that it wasn't supposed to be this way. The more she prepared herself to ask for a divorce, the possibility got further away.

"Thank you…" She said looking at her own plate. Actually, she hadn't looked in his eyes even once since she stepped inside the house.

Clyde took one of her hands on the table, and slowly she looked at him, in his beautiful blue eyes.

"Emily, I'm so tired this whole distance between us… I want us to try and be happy together because without you as my wife and partner, I couldn't go on living. I'm just existing in a shell of a man in my condition, all broken up physically and useless, being with my emotional emptiness and loneliness…. Emily, I really need you… I need you because I love you so very much… Please know this and I want us to be man and wife again as before…I want to see you smiling again and I'll do my best, the possible and impossible to make you happy…"

There was something inside her that screamed for her to ask him to shut up and say everything that she wanted, but she just couldn't say it. She couldn't prevent the lump that formed in her throat, and the tears that reached her eyes, though she was fighting like hell to prevent them from falling.

As if that wasn't enough, all the pain and agony that she already felt, he continued talking:

"Emily…. I don't have any living family, you're the only family I have…. Without you I wouldn't a single living soul family member… Plus I don't have any other friends because Doyle killed all of them besides you… Without you I would be totally alone and have no one in my life…"

Now the tears came to her eyes and fell freely down her cheeks, and he realized of course.

"Sorry, I hate to see you crying…"

"No, it's fine. I mean, you moved me with your words. I hadn't expected anything of it... Seriously... I even thought you'd be asleep by the time I got home..."

"You deserve this and much more, Em… Only for choosing to stay with me when you could've left me to live your life with someone completely able to make you happy, someone whose body works perfectly..."

"Clyde, it's not that fact that makes a person stay with the other…"

"So this tells me that it's not only because of that, that you're with me…"

Whoa! It was getting worse than she thought.

"I do have feelings for you, of course…"

Emily wanted the night to be over very soon, and for a new day to come, a day where she could pretend that nothing had happened and talk to him about the divorce. But Clyde still had some surprises for her.

"Well, since we're here talking about our feelings and having a fresh start, I offer this rose for you…."

He took out one of the rosebuds that was in a vase on the table, and offered it to her. Emily took it in her hands and looked at it. She wasn't the romantic type of woman, and being with the wrong man worsened the situation further, but there was no way that she couldn't react to that. Inside the red rose was a diamond ring. She opened her mouth.

She sat there only admiring that ring, not knowing what to think, no reaction. Clyde took the ring from inside the rose, and placed the ring on the finger on her left hand, along with the wedding ring that she was already wearing, saying:

"This ring represents a new beginning for us…"

Emily looked at the new ring on her finger, and her first thought was that she wished that this new ring had magic powers, just like in the cartoons she used to watch as a kid. She wished i it would give her the power she needed to tell Clyde the truth without breaking his heart and ask for a divorce without hurting him so she could be free to be with Derek.

But coming back to reality she wondered how the fuck she had let the situation go this far, everything had happened so fast. She had just let the situation slip through her fingers, and things had gotten so much worse for her, much more difficult. Another wedding ring? What the fuck, Emily! Get it over with! But on the other hand, the voice inside her screamed louder and that voice still held the guilt, and maybe she would have it for life. It was as if she had to give up her happiness to be able to pay for it.

His eyes began to weigh on her, indicating that he was waiting for an answer, so she said:

"It's… beautiful…." Just like she'd answered Ian when he gave her the gimmel ring.

"Emily… look at me… you don't seem to be happy…"

"It's… I hadn't expected this… I'm a little shocked and it's pretty normal, Clyde… I'm tired because of the case…"

"There's something more that you're not telling me… I can see it…"

At that moment, Emily really wished he could picture her and Derek in bed. It would save her a lot of trouble. She was starting to get pissed with the whole situation, plus an extra dose of guilt for sleeping with Derek also added to her discomfort.

"Clyde, you always put me on a high pedestal, making me sound like a perfect angel, but I'm far from that... You don't know me like you think you do. I have done things that I'm not proud of and I need to tell you, but I'm not sure how to do it… Things that are eating me up and I need to get this off of my chest…. You deserve so much happiness and deserve a wife better than me to love you the way you deserve to be loved… You keep telling me that you're not good enough for me, but it's exactly the opposite. I'm the one that's not good enough for you…"

"You are Emily… Look… I already know you and I know you can be distant and cold sometimes, but I know you on the inside and how pure your heart is, and how sweet you can be… I want you in my life… Give us this last chance… please…"

Before she could respond, he said:

"Besides, I still have some good news…" Emily looked at him, drinking a little more wine. "I've been visiting a medical specialist for months now, they say he is the best in the country on this issue, and my impotence situation is fully reversible, so I think that very soon I'll be able to make you 100% happy, maybe we can even have a baby…."

"Aw, Clyde, hmm… you know the sex department was never the first thing in my life… I think it might be the last thing…"

Clyde took her hands again, making her look at him, and said:

"That will change!"

This was a surreal situation for Emily, not even in her worst nightmare would she imagine this. She had an idea that the talk about the divorce would not be nice, but that was the last thing she imagined. Of course they had been through good and unforgettable moments together, and she knew she couldn't just throw these moments into the air, hoping that the wind would simply dissipate them. But then their situation had reached a point where they weren't more than great friends and lovers anymore, at least for Emily, and she never made a point of hiding it from him. The distance between them had already gone too far, to the point that she couldn't just come back. There was no way she could get back to him and feel for him what she had felt in the past. It was as if she had to return to her past, but she had totally forgotten the path.

Fate had once again came to her in the form of a human being, and in the form of love, making the time a brief moment, a precious brief moment where the path back was not even cogitated, and her path had summed up in only one direction, always forward and never backwards, and this brief moment was just life, life that was going on and she wanted to live her dream with the man she loved. As if Clyde could read her thoughts, he said:

"Emily, since I was paralyzed from the waist down, I felt no desire to live anymore because I knew you'd leave me. I know the love you felt for me is no longer there. Maybe it's my fault, but from the moment you chose to stay with me, and now with the news that I will be able to have a full life by your side again, I feel alive again for the first time since the tragedy… I was giving up on life, and I'm not even fifty! Now it seems like a new world opened up for me. My biggest fear after all this was to lose you, and now I feel alive, even more than before, because when I was involved only with work, I had no social life and nothing that brought me life… I lost you because of a job in the past! And it's so wrong… Everything happens for a reason and now I'm thinking of writing a book, or open a bike store, or whatever… The important thing is that I have you… with me… Give me this chance? Please…. I want to make you happy!"

She couldn't do anything but to smile at him, and he understood this as a yes.

"Do you remember when I asked you to come back to London? I was actually asking you to come back to me... You know that, right?"

"Yes…" She whispered, admitting.

Emily felt that she needed to get out of there. It was as if something had caught her breath and was holding it, and she needed to breathe again and soon.

"Clyde, I loved everything. I loved the dinner. I loved the flowers, the candles, the food, everything…. I loved the ring... " She looked at the ring. "...but I'm really tired. These past few days were really tiring physically and mentally. I need to take a shower and rest…."

"Of course, my love…"

He approached her while she was still sitting, placing the wheelchair next to her, and held her face. He brought her into a kiss on the lips. It lasted exactly ten seconds, him pressing his lips to hers, but for her it seemed like years.

* * *

.

The next day, on Saturday morning, Derek felt really happy. It was a beautiful, sunny day and he decided to take Clooney for a walk in a park near his house. After walking a lot, he stopped to buy some water for him and Clooney, and decided to send a message to Emily.

"Hey, Princess, Good morning... Love you… I Miss you, a lot…"

He waited for a response that never came, but he knew that at least for the weekend she would be very busy. It was perhaps her last weekend as married. He looked at Clooney and said:

"Yeah…buddy, very soon, we'll be three! And then, four, maybe five…" He said, smiling and already thinking about having children.

At night, he watched sports on TV with a beer in his hand, wishing she was there. It was getting difficult for him to control the anxiety now. He sent another message to her.

"Goodnight my love, thinking of you as always. I hope everything went the best way as possible…Love you…"

After that, he stayed for as long time checking the phone, even though he knew that the phone whistled whenever a new message came, but still he kept checking his phone all the time. He wanted to fool himself, preferring to ignore the strange feeling that something was not going as planned. He tried to get distracted by the TV.

* * *

Emily had spent all day with her husband. In the morning, they had gone together to the grocery store, shopping for home stuff. She used to alone, but this time he insisted on going with her and participate in everything. It seemed as if he'd begun to live again. Once home, he helped her to prepare lunch, and then to clean the kitchen. Later they were a bit in the garden, and then watched television.

When she had received the first message from Morgan, she had already decided that she would not respond to him because she had nothing to say right now. When he sent the second message, it was night, and she and Clyde was on the sofa, watching a movie. She picked up the phone and read the message from Morgan and her heart broke. Clyde noticed it immediately.

"What?"

"Huh?"

"What happened?"

"Nothing… I… I… I had arranged something with JJ for tomorrow, but she won't be able to go…"

"No problem, my love, we can spend all day Sunday together…"

He pulled her into a hug, so she was practically lying with her head on his chest, and he caressed her hair all the time.

They were together on the sofa for a long time, and Clyde enjoyed the closeness of their bodies.

"It's so good to feel you so close to me, Em…"

Ah, if you knew how far away from here I am! She thought, but didn't dare to say. She just remained silent. Emily showed no happiness at all, but for Clyde, she was always like that... a little cold and distant. He thought it was her normal behavior, and he didn't want to leave room for doubt.

It was almost the end of the movie, and there were hot scenes in it. Clyde had his hand over her body, hugging her. Then, slowly, he opened the first button of the shirt she was wearing. Emily froze, but did nothing. She didn't even move. He then very slowly slid his hand inside her shirt, inside the tight bra, and it provoked a reaction in her. She tried to hold his hand with her own hand:

"Clyde…"

Even before she finished pronounce his name, he whispered:

"Please… I need it…"

Emily then relented, she removed her hand from his, and she would use the all the compartmentalization skills that she could use.

Clyde wanted to see what kind of sensations this would cause in his body. He began to caress her breasts with his hands. Emily was there just like a statue, while he was groping her breasts and nipples, and for a long time he was just doing this and focusing on the sensations in his body.

When he realized that nothing was going to happen, and that a certain part of his body would not react, he was a little disappointed. So he took his hands from her, Emily returned to a sitting position on the sofa, and looked at him. She saw the size of his disappointment, and said:

"Clyde, you will be able to do it ... Give it time…"

"Emily, if it's not happening with you, the sexiest and most gorgeous woman in the world, I'm beyond repair!"

"Of course not, Clyde, just stay calm ... you'll be able to…"

She said but she didn't even want to believe it, and that was cruel. He looked down, he was very disappointed. She said:

"Clyde, hey, you'll get it!"

"With you, I know I have a chance, love…"

* * *

The next day was the longest day of Derek's life, and the shortest to Emily. She knew she would have to face Derek on Monday.

* * *

Monday morning, at the BAU: Emily was in her office, writing something. She heard a knock on the door and by the type of knock she knew it was him. They had agreed that he would not go to her office anymore, but today was an exception because she knew how much he was going to be anxious and she decided to face it. Before she could respond, he opened the door, entered and closed the door. She was sitting at her desk, writing something. He approached her, supporting his two hands on her desk, very close to her face. He smiled widely for her, his eyes shining.

"So, how was it? How did he react?"

She dropped the pencil and looked at him. His smile closed at the same moment their eyes met. She opened her mouth, but not a single word came out of it, and he could read her eyes perfectly, and he knew.

"You didn't talk to him, did you?"

* * *

**Will Emily's assurances of love for him be enough for Derek, and how will she explain what happened with Clyde and her, because if Derek knows about everything Clyde did for her and what he tried to do with her, Derek may not understand and not be happy with all these occurrences. Can their love survive all of this? Please stay tuned to find out and please continue to give me your wonderful ideas and suggestions to let me know what you think. Thank you very much to you all.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I own nothing**

* * *

Derek could see all the pain in her eyes, which were shining brighter than usual, and he could swear there were from tears that were forming inside them, but she was struggling not to drop them. In a quick search of words in her mind, she could only say:

"I…..I….. couldn't…."

"You couldn't?" He sarcastically said, frowning.

He distanced himself from her, and walked to the door and with eyes so sad and he was so pissed off, before leaving her office, he turned to her and said:

"You couldn't?"

"Derek ..."

He gave no space for her to speak, and left the office, closing the door.

* * *

The team was flying to California for another case, and they had already reviewed the case inside the plane, Derek was alone in one of the armchairs in the bottom part, JJ went talking to him, she sat in front of him and said:

"So, these sad eyes, anything you want to share?"

Derek gave a bitter smile, saying:

"Is it too obvious?"

"You know that you can never hide anything from us...we might not know what this is about but we always know when you are not feeling okay...or when you have a problem..."

Derek looked at the little window of the plane, and said nothing. He might even be open with JJ because he trusted her, but it involved someone else, so he decided to shut up. JJ then very low and subtly, said:

"It's Emily, right…"

Derek looked at her, half worried, half unknowingly how far she knew.

"It's okay Morgan, I know about you guys...she talked to me, she is suffering a lot with this situation...I could see the pain in her eyes...this is not easy for her Morgan...…"

"JJ, I cannot understand why she cannot just ask for the divorce… I mean… I wonder why this is so hard for her and this makes me doubt if she still feel something for him…"

They were talking really low and besides that, the rest of the team was talking on the other side of the plane. JJ wisely said:

"Morgan, I know you two spent that night together… at the hotel… I'm going to ask you something… and you don't have to answer this to me… but answer for yourself… Do you really think what happened in that bedroom that night between you and her does not say to you how much she loves you… Do you think it was easy for her… having her husband sick at home and being with you… because she could not spend one second more away from you as that was being a real torture for her... Do you think this is not love?"

Derek was just looking at her.

"Just give her some more time…"

* * *

On that same day, before going home at night, Emily texted Derek:

"At least give me a chance to explain…"

He did not answer.

* * *

Since the doctor had told Clyde that at any moment, he could return to perform, he was desperately trying to make love to her, and tonight was not different, under the covers, he began to hug and try to touch her, and hands everywhere, and Emily trying to avoid.

"Emily, please…"

"No… please, not tonight… I don't want…"

"Emily… you were supposed to help me with this…C'mon, please…"

"I don't want! I'm not in the mood for this! What can I do! You want me to force something I don't want to do?!"

"Of course not…"

"So, stop, Clyde… stop! I want to sleep…"

She turned her backs to him and started to cry softly, it was just tears falling.

* * *

**Two days later:**

The team had just returned from the case in California. It was about eight at night and Emily was at Garcia's office. They were just talking while Garcia was closing her computers to go home. Emily walked with her all the way to the elevator, but before they went there, rest the same, the team was coming from inside the elevator. Emily almost literally froze when Derek sent a cold and empty look at her. It broke her heart, because she was still there just to see him.

Each one of them went to their own table, or office, and they dissipated, so that Emily had been planted, kinda left. Derek put some documents inside his drawer, and passed by her again, heading toward the elevator, without looking at her. As Emily was under the watchful eyes of the people there, she just went back to her office.

* * *

Derek came home, he took a bath and he was cooking something for him to eat, chatting with Clooney:

"…Yeah, buddy, how were these last two days? …Just in quietness?

That's it, man… Maybe I get some female companion for you, so you do not feel so alone… What do you think? I hope that dog does not fall in love, you will suffer a bit buddy, and I do not want that for you…"

Derek ate the steak with salad that he had cooked for himself, and opened a can of beer and went to the couch in living room, with the remote control of the TV in hands, looking for something to watch. As it was very hot, he was only in slippers and shorts, and nothing else, nothing else, only strong muscles showing. He drank a beer, then another, and he was just relaxing on the couch, when he heard the bell ring.

He glanced through the curtain, and saw Emily's car parked in front of his house. So he knew it was her. He opened the door for her, just enough for her to see his face, and he was waiting for her to speak.

Emily had her hands in her pants pocket, and her purse on her shoulder she said:

"Hi…"

He said nothing. He was really pissed still.

"Can I come in? I….. just want to talk…"

Derek, until then, had always lived in a safe haven for him: A comfortable place where he always had the privilege of commanding and has all the power. A territory that he knew very well: women. It had been only sex, hot kisses and goodbye… see you never again. And it had been always like that. Even when he met Emily, and he was flooded with a different feeling, but he always preferred the reason that emotion, and he always felt more safe and comfortable acting like that, believing that he was not the best for her, preferring to ignore completely that perhaps the two might be the best for each other, the best they could be and make it worth something. But no, he always preferred to be on the defensive in a safe place and not to surrender to love. But he had taken the next step and he had liked it, but now he was suffering, and it is clear: he was not liking it, at all. But of course he would not leave her outside: he opened the door wide for her to enter. Emily wanted nothing more but to jump on his neck, those muscles showing, but she contained herself. Derek locked the door and said:

"Make yourself at home… I will get a T-shirt…" He went upstairs.

Emily took a few steps across the living room, and placed her purse on the chair, and she was just looking around, waiting for him. Not long after, he went downstairs, took the TV remote control, turned off the TV and looked at her, saying:

"You can speak…" They were facing each other, but a couple of feet away.

She wanted to open her heart but the truth was that she did not have anything significant to say. So, she just said:

"Derek…I…I…" She was looking for words.

Very sarcastically, he said:

"Wait… let me help you: you are going to say something like this: I'm sorry… I could not talk to him… give me more time… he almost died because of me… it's all my fault that he is in that condition right now… I cannot leave him…"

Emily was just looking at him and she got a little pissed, she did not like someone imitating her, and also because he was being really sarcastic. She said:

"Could you stop acting like a child and listen to me?"

"Oh… so, you do have something different to say?!" He crossed his arms and was waiting for her to speak, saying:

"Go ahead, Emily… I'm all ears…"

As she actually had no other explanation to give to him, she said:

"You know what? I should not have even come here!"

"Oh… Are you going to run away…Good!" He said.

Emily was putting the purse over her shoulder and walking to the door when he said:

"I'm not your sex toy, Emily… It's good that you know that I'm not going to satisfy you, because your husband can not do this 'job', and then you leave me to run into his arms…"

She could not believe that she was hearing this. She put her purse on the chair again, and walked over to him, very closer now:

"What are you saying?"

"I am saying what you heard: I am not good enough for you to assume me, for you to show me in public and assume your love for me and put a ring on your finger... because you have to run to him, because you have to be with him, because it's always all about him… I am sick of it! Lots of people around the world lead a normal life in a wheelchair and even in worst condition than him and you keep protecting him as of he was the best person in the world! Fuck him!"

"Derek, you could never understand because you're a heartless that only sees yourself, and you can never understand how I feel, you can not put yourself in my place, you can not see my situation because you're only concerned about yourself and you do not understand how a person in this world can think about someone else other than you! And just for you to know, you said I'm with you for sex, but I can have sex with Clyde anytime I want it, and perhaps it had been a mistake what happened between us, Derek!"

She was walking to the door again when she heard:

"I also think that it was a huge mistake… I had lots of better sex than you…"

Emily was walking to the door again when she heard that, she gave a sarcastic smile and turned to face him again:

"You are saying this because you are a man that… I have to admit… knows how to fuck a woman… but you are not enough of a man to assume that you love a woman and that she finally won your heart and made the master big super potent high esteem Derek Morgan lost the control of his feelings…..Maybe… if you had not let me go… neither I, or you or Clyde would be in this situation…"

"…But you had to run to him when he snapped his fingers, huh, like a little needy dog…"

Hmm, little needy dog was too much for the super Emily Prentiss, she raised her hand to slap him on the face, but he was faster then her, holding her hand in the air. She looked at his mouth, and then his eyes, and she opened her mouth slightly, as if to say something but nothing came out, Derek held her even tighter in his strong arms, and from that moment their brains completely turned off, they let themselves be guided by the wishes, feelings, bodies, etc...

The clothes started flying through the living room as they kissed passionately, and within seconds, they were fucking like crazy on the big chaise. Clooney went from there, scared by the scene. The dog went to the kitchen.

Emily wanted to be completely possessed by him, she was desperate to feel him inside her, and him touching her entire body, they were completely naked on the chaise, and Derek was over her killing the need that she feeling of being mastered and possessed, bodies sweating at a steady and accelerated pace, and Derek was thrusting inside her, in a movement perfectly effective to build the perfect climax for both of them between her moans, which were accelerating as Derek was getting fast and deep with his thrusting. Emily was very close to coming so she instead was licking, kissing and sucking the curve of his neck… she started to bite hard his shoulder, holding him by the backs and waist with both hands tightly against her body.

They were recovering from the orgasm, lying in huge chaise, feeling their hearts slow down gradually, legs and arms entwined. He was holding her in his arms. He said:

"I'm sorry for what I said…"

"Me too…" She whispered.

"…but I agree on that part I should not let you go…I'm sorry for this…." He said.

She raised her head to be able to look at him, and said:

"Derek… it's not a matter of I'm sorry… it is that now… look at our situation! We have to hide our feelings and meet each other as hidden as if we were some kind of fugitives from the law….on the other side, I cannot live without you anymore… I need you like I need air… I love you…like I never loved anyone before…like I never felt my whole life…"

"What happened that you could not talk to him?"

She broke the eye contact, she took a deep breath, shaking her head from one side to the other, and said:

"Derek, when I got home on that day, he was so happy as I had never saw him since the tragedy… he had lost the will of living… and on that day it looks like he had reborn for life again… he had prepared himself a dinner with candles and roses everywhere in the house…he gave me this meaning a new start!" She showed the ring to him. He said:

"You allowed him to do all of this?"

"What could I do? He had prepared everything… he said it was a new beginning and thanks to me he wants to move on and start doing new things like open a store or something… he said he finally feel alive again… how could I destroy all of his dreams, Derek…"

Derek was just listening to her, a little pissed but quiet. She said:

"I will… I will…. I won't break my promise to you… I will ask for the divorce…I just could not do it on that particular day… but I will…. especially now that….. the doctors said he can…. perform again… he keeps trying and trying but I keep on giving him excuses time after time. I don't let him touch me not even a small kiss on the lips that I do not give him anymore…so, please, Derek, be a little more patient…"

"Emily ...can't you see you that by acting this way, the situation is getting worse… you are feeding him with false hopes…."

"No, Derek… I'm not… deep down he knows I do not love him anymore and that I never did… he knows why I don't let him touch me anymore…"

She lay on his chest again, being held by him again, and said:

"I only want you, Derek… I only need you…"

* * *

On that night, Emily got home late night, after eleven pm. Clyde was in the TV room watching something. She went there and said:

"Hey… I'm home… are you okay?"

"Where were you, Em?"

"What do you mean? I was working…"

"Check your cell phone…I called you at least a zillion times…"

"I was in a meeting with Hotch…I could not answer my cell phone…"

She said and went to her bedroom, but he went after her.

"Could you not call me back after the meeting, Emily…"

I could! But I thought it was better if I came home to tell you instead of telling you by a phone call...something happened? As far as I can tell, you seem to be in one fine piece all together.…"

"Bloody hell!" He went back to the TV room.

* * *

Only in the bath, remembering the recent events in the arms of Derek Morgan, Emily realized that they had not used a condom. She knew that considering her age it would be difficult to get pregnant naturally, but still, she was very worried. She got out of the shower, she put on her white bathrobe, and still wiping her hair with the towel, she went to the TV room to talk to Clyde:

"So, you called me zillions times for what?"

"Never mind… I already resolved by myself…"

"What was it?"

"My nose did not stop bleeding the whole day…and my fever was on top again…but I'm okay now…"

She went to sit on the sofa near his wheelchair.

"Oh, Clyde, I'm so sorry… did you call for help?"

"I took a medicine to make the fever go down and I researched online for a way to stop my nose from bleeding..."

"Clyde… you will need to see a doctor…"

"I don't want this whole hospital thing in my life again, Emily… I'll be fine…"

"How long this has been happening?"

"I just want a normal life! Is this asking too much?"

"Well…. Fixing your bleeding nose and your fever does not mean you cannot have a normal life…"

"Yeah… but just when I'm now trying to move on and do new things, I have to face hospital and doctors all again…"

Emily took his hands and said:

"I'm going to be with you…"

He looked into her eyes and said:

"Will you, Em?"

They stared at each other in the eyes, and when Emily realized he was reading her answer in her eyes, she broke the eye contact. She got up saying:

"Clyde… I will make an appointment so we can see the doctor and make some tests okay… and I will be there for sure… you don't need to worry…"

She said while going to her bedroom.

After about half an hour, Emily sat on the bed and lots of paperwork was on the bed and she was reading and organizing them, Clyde came to the bedroom, and he was changing clothes for the pajamas, and Emily was observing him, he took off his t-shirt, and she said:

"Clyde… did you hurt yourself?"

"Why?"

"Let me see this…" She got up from the bed and went near him, saying:

"Your backs… there are some bruises on your skin… what is this, did you fall from the wheelchair?"

"No! I have no idea what all this is Emily...…"

"We have to check this, Clyde… I will definitely call the doctors tomorrow and see when they can see us…"

* * *

Emily was having a tough week at the BAU, with many meetings with her leaders, and many changes that were happening anyway, just bureaucratic things. So, only after about ten days, she had managed to arrange an appointment for Clyde for twenty days ahead. The romantic dates between her and Derek were increasingly being constant, almost whenever he was home she went to his house, before going to her house. They were talking after making love.

"…I just have to take him to the doctor… and make sure it is not anything serious… and then I will talk to him…"

"I cannot wait... I am dying to spend the whole with you… making you a coffee in the morning and helping you get dressed in the morning and undress you in the night…"

He was talking and kissing her all the time. Emily said:

"Derek… you said you want to help me get dressed but you always do the opposite…you always take off all my clothes when I need to get dressed so you do not help me there at all… every time I try to get dressed to go home you always make things difficult for me…"

"Well, Princess, it should be illegal for anyone to look so gorgeous naked and a body like that is too lethal not to be seen, that my hands cannot help but want to touch you fully naked all the time… Your body and beauty is so incredibly stunning that God took a lifetime to create you and he surely broke the mold…"

"Hmm… I can see that not only your hands cannot help…" She said, very sexy way, teasing him, while her hands went down his body and she could notice he was totally ready for one more round of love making.

"Hmm, someone is a little too much hornier than normal here, and I am fucking loving it…" Derek said while positioning his body over her again, kissing her again.

After they had made love again, still in bed, she said:

"I don't want but I have to go…"

"Oh, please, Emily… spend the night…"

"Hmm, I can't, Derek… you know that…"

"Just tonight, please…"

"What am I going to say to him?"

"Say you are busy on a case…"

"I can't, babe, you know that… besides… I'm worried about him…"

"Something happened?"

"He is kind sick… we don't know what it is about yet… some wounds and fever almost every day and his nose keeps bleeding…"

Derek could see a little concern and despair and almost a pain in her eyes. He said:

"Princess, I know you care for him deeply and it is not the way you do for me, and you cannot just stop worrying about him and stop taking care of him, and I got it... If you did that, you would not be the person that I am totally in love with… You are the most caring, loving person in the whole world. I just wish that I can be with you every second, but I do understand why you have to go and take care of him now and make sure that he will be okay… and I admire you for this…"

She felt totally safe with him now, like she never felt that she had someone to count on. She hugged him, saying:

"I love you, Derek…"

* * *

**Two months later:**

Over two months have passed and Emily and Derek were increasingly in love with each other, and visiting his house after work had become a habit for her, something that was part of their routine now, whenever Derek was not traveling to a case, Emily went there after work, even if only for a kiss, or a hug, or just feel his smell. She needed him like air, so did him. They were acting very carefully at BAU now, they were barely talking to each other when they were there at work. They are talking now, at his place:

Thank God that I got my period Derek... we cannot forget the condom ever again..."

"Ouch … don't you want a baby?"

Emily had never considered having a baby before, especially with Clyde, to who she was married now, and listening to Derek questioning this and knowing how good he was with children, it brought doubts to her, she said:

"Hmm, Derek… we can't right now, right?"

"Yeah… I know… but soon, right?"

"I don't know what is soon for you… but the situation is still hard… doctors said I need to take him to a specialist in blood… I'm kind of worried… just now that he is so excited about the new business… the motorcycle store… he is so happy and stuff…"

They were in the living room just talking tonight because she had her period. Derek came to hug her. He said:

"He will be fine, and we will FINALLY be able to get together and get married and have babies…"

"…Babies?" She asked.

"Yeah… one, two, three…" He said, smiling, still hugging her by the waist.

She smiled and said:

"I will be happy if I'm able to have at least one…...or… you can have all these babies with that new agent trainee…" She said, looking down, teasing him, while she was playing with the button of his shirt.

He frowned and:

"What?"

"Well… the way she teases you and touches you all the time, it is pretty obvious how she feels about you the way she is always flirting with you…"

"Emily… this is really sounding like you are jealous?"

"No, I am the boss it is my job to make sure things are going professionally there… at BAU…"

Derek then said laughing and smiling:

"Right, Princess, you are worrying about professionalism not that your true love might be stolen away from you?" He said with a little smile on his face, which made Emily doubt if he was really only joking around. She said, looking at him in the eyes:

"Derek, the way she looks and touch you…. I so want to fire her ass… but I cannot….. I am not thinking like your boss but like someone in deep love with you….. but if you want to be with her because she is fully free unlike me I would understand….."

He kissed the tip of her nose and said:

"You would understand…mm okay…"

She looked at him, a kind of fear in her eyes, before Derek could figure out if it was just charm on her part or if she was really insecure, he decided to take her out of that place, saying:

"Emily there is no one else for me in the entire universe except you… You are the only woman I see and can only be with… I am not interested in that trainee or a.n.y.o.n.e else… If I have to wait an eternity for you I will….. as I cannot be with anyone else but you because you are a part of me forever and I love you so much…."

She smiled in relief. Derek seeing she was more relaxed now, added:

"I cannot help how this trainee feels about me because I know I am too handsome, cute, adorable, hot…. but don't worry it is only one sided thing... I will tell her that I am not interested to make her stop and make you feel better….."

Emily laughed and said:

"That is one more reason why I love you is your arrogance and cockiness…"

They kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and she left for her home.

* * *

One week later:

Emily and Derek had not seen each other in his place since the last date because he had spent five days out of the town working on a case. So, that night, she waited for him to go and then she was preparing to go after him, to meet him at his place, but Hotch called her for some work reason. It took almost one hour from her, but even so, she went to see Morgan. She was missing him, and she wanted to make him a surprise since she did not have agreed anything with him. She rang the bell and waited. He came to open the door, but he opened just a little, there was no space for her to enter. She thought it strange. He said:

"Emily… it is not the right moment…"

"…Right moment?"

She tried to spy inside the house, but there was no space. He said:

"I send you a message later… please…"

She was not understanding anything until someone appears from the inside saying:

"Derek… if you are busy, I can…aw… the boss… Mrs. Prentiss?"

"Rebecca…" Emily said.

* * *

**I bet that ending of chapter surprised you guys a little. This does not look good on Derek's part that Emily catching him with the trainee at his house. Will Derek have a reasonable explanation why she is at his house? I think he will. The only reason he did not want her to enter is to protect her from the girl seeing her there, but will Emily believe him? Please tell me what you think this is all about and please continue to give me all your great ideas, suggestions and comments like you all are always beautifully doing. Please continue to stay on this channel to find out more and thank you all very much for reading as always and thanks a lot for the interest in my story.**


	13. Chapter 13

**I own nothing**

**A song that I used and please, if you have a chance to listen to it while reading, do it!**

**:) **

* * *

Emily and Derek had not seen each other for a week now, because they were being much more careful since they had started a hidden affair. After a normal work day, about eight in the evening, she went to his place, and rang the bell. He opened the door for her and said:

"Emily… it is not the right moment…"

"…Right moment?" She asked frowning.

She tried to spy inside the house, but there was no space, because he was blocking the view. He said:

"I'll send you a message later… okay…"

She was not understanding anything until someone appears from the inside saying:

"Derek… if you are busy, I can…Aw!… The boss!… Mrs. Prentiss?!"

"Rebecca…" Emily said.

Well, there was an awkward situation for them. Derek was standing on the door, Rebecca inside the house, behind him and Emily outside the door. After not more than two seconds, Emily said:

"Well, Morgan… since I had a business situation to discuss with you, we'd better talk tomorrow, at work."

""Mrs. Prentiss, if it is an emergency situation I can go…"

"No! Rebecca, you guys can take your time… It's about work and it's important, but this can wait until tomorrow…"

Derek was feeling a sense of utter helplessness. He had to control himself a lot to not expel the trainee from there, and grab Emily in his arms. He was dying to meet her, to be with her, he wanted to touch her, he wanted to kiss her there, in front of whoever was there, but he knew he could not do that, not now, at this moment, and it broke his heart completely when Emily said:

"Well, then, I'm going now, I'll leave you guys alone…"

She turned and left without looking back. Derek waited until she got in the car and go. He felt like he would explode with nervousness, but the sadness and frustration for him were so much bigger that he got through without action.

Even before Emily got in the car, she was thinking: 'what the fuck is Rebecca doing there. He told me that he was not interested in her but yet she is at his place at this time… I am sure she came for extra training very extra and special training like real hands on training literally and figuratively speaking…'

She entered her car and she was driving home now, and thinking about everything and until what point a relationship that started in the wrong ways could work, until what point was it worth to betray someone who she was supposed to love and be faithful to, and until what point she could charge Derek for something since she was going back to her husband now, and she was far to get rid of her marriage. As if she wanted to stop thinking she increased the volume of the car radio at full volume, and the music could not be more propitious. While Pink was singing "TRY", in the maximum volume, her tears streaming down her face. Not only because of the presence of Rebecca in his house, because deep down she was sure about Derek's love for her, she could completely feel that Derek was in love with her when they were together, but by the whole situation that she was living in now. The song was like this:

_Ever wonder 'bout what he's doing?_

_How it all turned to lies?_

_Sometimes I think that it's better to never ask why_

_Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame_

_Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned_

_But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You Gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You Gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_Funny how the heart can be deceiving_

_More than just a couple times_

_Why do we fall in love so easy?_

_Even when it's not right_

_Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame_

_Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned_

_But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You Gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You Gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_Ever worry that it might be ruined?_

_Does it make you wanna cry?_

_When you're out there doin' what you're doin'_

_Are you just getting by?_

_Tell me are you just getting by, by, by_

_Where there is desire there is gonna be a flame_

_Where there is a flame someone's bound to get burned_

_But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

_You gotta get up and try, and try, and try_

Morgan was also having his own nightmare now too, saying to Rebecca:

"Rebecca… what you and I have here is only business. I like you but we cannot mix business and pleasure, especially because that is not the real and only reason, which is: My heart has already been captured by someone else. Look, I need you to pay attention, you are not a little girl, but a very smart and intelligent woman, so I'm completely sure that I'm going to have to say this to you just one time: I am very flattered for the attention, flirting and I know you steal touches towards my hands and shoulders sometimes but that has to stop, I am so sorry but I have to be upfront with you. I know you dropped by unannounced hoping to start something with me but that can never happen: Never!"

"Wow! Can you tell me who it is? It is not the boss is it? I know she is married but I got this weird vibration when she was here…"

Although Derek used to be very transparent in his actions and words, he also had his own resources of compartmentalization, especially when it came to protecting his beloved, Emily. He got a little angry and talked a little mad to Rebecca now:

"How dare you ask that? This is how rumors start at work! And it is very hurtful and cruel. Emily is my superior and she came for business reasons, plus we have been friends for almost a decade and also she is married. Who I am seeing is really none of your business, Rebecca, I do not have to tell you…"

After this the poor girl went home and she was even considering a transfer to work maybe in China.

And Derek was there just thinking about how he wanted to possess and tame the stubborn, pissed off, jealous and possessive Emily Prentiss, and how very hot it would be, in a way that only he could and knew how to do to her. He texted her:

"I got rid of her, can you come back? She showed up without warning just before you arrived, please come back so we can talk…"

Emily was driving but during the red light she managed to read the message. But still very pissed she just threw her cell phone on the passenger seat.

Arriving at home, well, Clyde had chosen the worst day he could to confront her. As soon as she entered her house he said:

"Where the fuck where you, Emily?"

"WHAT?"

"I CALLED YOU CELL PHONE AND I CALLED THE BAU, They told me that you left a long time ago!"

"I'm not going to even respond to this, Clyde...I'm warning you, leave me alone...I had a terrible day..." She said walking fast to her bedroom.

But he did not give up, and went after her:

"You had a terrible day, but I'm tired of playing the fool here! (He was kind of yelling at her now)… more than one hour I called to BAU and you were not there and you don't take even half hour to get here, so where were you, Em?"

"I WAS FUCKING SOMEONE ELSE, and the days that I came home even later, it is because the list the guys I'm fucking with is huge! (She yelled louder than him)… Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted to hear? You think you control my steps… you think you own me because of these two shits?!" She took off the two wedding rings and threw them at him.

"Yeah! I can barely remember that you really like the thing, so I need to remind you that you can come home and I can fuck you here too, and make you scream because this I remember very well…"

He took the two wedding rings and threw on the floor and left the bedroom.

Emily then took an hours' shower in the hot tub to try to relax more, and think.

After the shower, she put on her bathrobe and went to the TV room to talk to him. She said:

"I'm sorry for what I said…"

He noticed that she was wearing the rings again. He was a little pissed still, he said:

"These rings do not mean I own you. It symbolizes that my love for you never ends, just like the rings. It is for you to remember that you will always have someone thinking and caring about you… All I am asking is for some consideration because is it too wrong for me to be concern about my wife? Do you want to tell me the real reason why you were so upset and how dare you speak to me like that…"

"I had a bad day… I'm saying I'm sorry, okay…"

"Well, Emily, I know and it is pretty clear that it is not just this. If you are sleeping with someone I would hope you would be honest and upfront with me, because you have always been nothing but honest with me as far as I know. Are you sleeping with someone only because I cannot perform fully for you, and is that the reason you will not allow me to touch you anymore?! You need to tell me the whole truth now…"

She was about to tell him the whole truth at once but she could not manage to do that, so she said

"Clyde, I am so sorry about saying I was fucking others. My anger got the better of me because of work stress and everything caving on me that I took all my frustration on you. I am very sorry for this as you do not deserve this…." (She looked up, as looking for words, and kept saying)… "There are some things that I need to say to you, but not now, not today… and I reaffirm what I always say to you that I am here for you and I will be here with you as you know how much I care deeply for you… I always want to be honest with you….. There are things happening in my life now, a complete mess and I'm dealing with it and in the right moment you will know…"

Deep down, Clyde knew but he did not want to push her now, too afraid of losing her for good. He was just listening to her.

Emily as she was saying all of this, the guilt for not telling the complete truth for him was too much for her to bear at this moment that her stomach was churning and rolling like crazy.

* * *

The rest of the week, Emily and Derek barely looked at each other at BAU, and she was not answering his phone calls or messages.

* * *

It was a Friday night now and the team was arriving at the BAU after two days out working on a case. Emily was still there waiting to talk to Hotch about bureaucratic things. Before she left her office to go to talk to him, Morgan entered there, pretending he was delivering a document, and inside the briefcase he sent a note for her. He handed the briefcase to her and they looked at each other intensively, their eyes said everything. But he went out of there very quickly to not raise suspicions for anyone there, the last thing he wanted was to harm her somehow.

After the work meeting with Hotch, in his office, she went to her office and only now she opened the briefcase Morgan had gave to her. It said:

"_Emily, as I know that for now we cannot be in public, I rent a private place for us that no one will know us there far away from Quantico, and it is a neutral place far away from my place so we can talk. I need you to hear me out. You can kick me, scream and punch me at this place and no one will hear us. You can do anything you wish, and (I might even enjoy you punishing me) {there was no way she did not smiled reading this sentence} I know you were not happy seeing Rebecca but I have a logical reasonable explanation for everything. You just have to give me a chance to say it... You need to hear me out. This is the address: XXX. Tomorrow, Saturday, I'll be there in the early morning. Love you…_"

Emily put the note inside her purse, put the purse over her shoulder and walked away to home. She was trying to not thinking too much about the note. But every minute that was passing, that note would possess every inch of her existence, she was trying to fight against it with maximum effort that she could try to do but the note seemed to have a life of its own.

* * *

**Saturday morning.**

Derek woke up very early. He took a shower and dressed up in a nice t-shirt and shorts and tennis, and his cap on the head. He talked to Clooney saying that he could not take him for a walk because he had something really important scheduled, promising him that Sunday he would do it then. And he went inside his jeep to the place that he had rented for them. It was in a small city near Quantico, very beautiful place in the mountains and there was a lake too. It was a very beautiful sunny day. He was not completely sure if she would go or not. But he had his hopes and he was happy only thinking that she would be there. After about one hour driving, he got there. It was private cottage by the beautiful private peaceful lake, only for the two of them. He took the keys and open the house door and stayed for a little while only sightseeing the beautiful view of the lake from the high balcony, thinking to himself:

"C'mon, Emily, my love … don't let me down… please…"

* * *

Love was a very good thing to experience, especially if it is fully matched. It brings such a good feeling, something really sublime, feeling of peace, comfort and uneasiness at the same time. It was like really living the life, feeling alive. And Emily was experiencing it for the first time in her life, it was like an addiction for her, but not enough to make her lose her sense or mind or conscience, but to bring balance to weigh things and still choose living the love, even though at first sight, it seemed wrong. And she knew she was not feeling it alone, it was a two way thing. And she needed him, she just needed, just like he needed her, because the feeling was only complete when they could feel the presence of the other all the time, not only the physical presence, because even when they were million miles away, they could feel that the other was on the same wavelength. They had gone down a path of no return, it was like trying to fight a magnet, it was impossible to forget or trying to get back, and they did not want that! Not only because they were completely in love to each other, but because they had a conviction that the more they tried to escape from this strong feeling, more they were in love with each other. It was love, and despite all the circumstances, one could not exist completely or feel complete without the other. So, as if she could not control her feelings and desires, on that Saturday morning, Emily was getting ready for leave, with the soul determined to be totally faithful to her, to her love.

"Are you going out all day?" She was dressing her bra, after the shower, with both hands on her backs, when Clyde asked this to her.

With the bra properly buttoned, wearing a beige fisherman pants, and sandals, she was leaning on the drawer looking for a t-shirt, she replied:

"Yeah, Clyde, I hope you don't mind, I'm going to spend the day with JJ, she wants to go to a fair of handicrafts in a town near here, and she asked me to go with her… and … Ermmm… I hope you don't mind…"

"…. It is just… you already spend all the week days out… I thought that we could spend this day together…"

She was dressing her white t-shirt and putting her wet hair that she had just washed in the shower to one side, when she said to him, looking at him now:

"Hmm, I'm sorry… maybe tomorrow?"

"Hmm… what are my others options…"

"Besides, you have to go to the store, right?" She said while putting the perfume.

In very short time, she was ready to go, she said:

"See you tonight okay…"

When she was passing beside the wheelchair, he grabbed her arm, saying:

"At least a kiss…"

She bent down, looked at him, grabbed his face with both hands, and kissed the corner of his lips. It was very far from what he really wanted, but she went out so fast that he had no time to say anything. Inside the car, she was igniting it, she called JJ:

"Hey, JJ, I need a favor… don't call me at home today, okay… please. For all intents and purposes, I am spending the day with you…"

"Hm…Okay, Em. I don't think I'm going to need to call you today. Have fun…."

"Thanks, JJ."

* * *

Emily finally arrived at the cottage and Derek could see her car on the dirt road before the wooden gate. He ran to open the gate for her, locking the padlock after she passed with her car. She parked her car right in front of the house. She got out of the car, she was wearing sunglasses. The view was wonderful, blue sky, lake, balcony, a garden and a natural stone fountain. She was amazed at the place. Derek walked up to her, because he had gone to close the gate, after she had passed with the car. She was still looking at the wonderful view. She felt his presence right beside her, she felt his gaze on her, while she was looking at the wonderful view. She gulped and then she finally looked at him, and it took no more than one second for them to be kissing each other like if their lives depending on it. It was like a magnet.

After a long time kissing, he said to her, still holding her by the waist:

"I'm so happy that you came…"

"I had to come. Not coming is not the right choice for my heart and soul..." It was like a confession.

She looked at the view again, and said:

"It is a very beautiful place…"

Yeah...I really like it too...I did not know this place even existed before until now...… I'm even considering buying it…"

They got inside the house. Emily put her purse on the sofa. They went to the balcony to see the view from there. He tried to kiss her again but now she avoided, saying:

"Derek… we need to talk…"

"Yeah… I know… Emily…. Look, she just showed at my door just a second before you came with no warning. I was trying to get rid of her before you just arrived. I was trying to get her to leave so she would not see you as I do not want her to suspect anything about us. So that is why I told you I would talk to you later because that was not a good moment. I wanted you to leave before she could see you. I was trying to protect you. I was thinking what was best for you, Emily. I hope you would know I would never ever do anything with another girl like I told you before many times. There is no other woman for me Emily… I also told her that I am not interested and that my heart already has an owner. I did not say who it is so no worries. Rebecca will try her luck somewhere else because I am completely yours for this life and how many other lives I could live..."

He hugged her by the waist and tried to kiss her. She kind of avoided the kiss, holding both of his strong arms. He said:

"Emily, What? I was hoping that you had no doubts about my love for you...…"

"I don't have doubts about this, Derek. It is just that I know very well that Love and Sex are departments totally different for men…"

"And in what planet do you live on to think of this absurd thought like this? …if a man has the most gorgeous and sexy and smart and intelligent and everything… would be crazy to even look to another woman… I'm the luckiest guy in the entire universe, the luckiest of every person that ever exists and will exist in this universe… I really mean it…"

She smiled.

"Yeah… you are! …And I'm the most fucking luckiest woman alive!" She said with her best sexy voice.

They kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed and they fucked their brains out the whole day. After that about three hurricanes had already passed, they were in bed, just relaxing now, Derek snuggling her in his big and strong arms. She said:

"I was so mad and pissed off seeing her there, Derek... I know you only love me and you would not sleep with her or anyone else but it made me so angry. She just came unannounced and ruined our time together. All our time are so precious and it is so hard to steal moments as it is so rare we can have alone time and to have this trainee take away one of our special moments made me so angry that I was seeing total red…"

"I totally know, Princess, I was totally pissed because of this and then when I texted you asking to come back and you did not… I was so even more pissed off that I wanted to kill her… She is so lucky that she was not there anymore...…"

"I hope that she will forget your address!"

"You know what… today is OUR day! Let's just not talk about Clyde or Rebecca or BAU or anything but us!"

And they kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed again and again.

About two in the afternoon, Derek said:

"Hmm… Princess… I need to replenish my energy, and I think that you need too. I'll prepare something for us to eat…"

"Hmm, are you cooking…" She rolled in bed asking him.

"I wish I could cook for you again, babe… But I brought some bread and cheese and ham, so we can make a sandwich…" He said, while he was dressing his shorts.

After a little while, Emily appeared in the kitchen only in her small panties. Derek looked at her and said, totally amazed:

"Wow Em, please... I want to live a little at least many more decades still… Do not preach this piece on me appearing naked so suddenly in front of me like that…"

"Hmm, stop… you already saw me naked so many times, Derek…" She said, biting his ear.

"Yeah… but not like that… in these small panties…. Under the sun light reflecting on your skin… (the kitchen had a very large window)….in the middle of the kitchen…"

Emily took an impulse to sit on a high counter in the kitchen. Derek said:

"Princess, are you really going to do this?"

She smiled sexy to him: "Do what?"

"Parade naked in front of me…"

She smiled, like making faces for him, and said:

"What is the problem? It is too hot in here…" She said in her best sexy voice

"Oh GOD!… Hot are you! You know that I cannot help but touch you all the time when you are naked…"

"I'm not naked…"

"Yeah … but these little micro panties only make you even sexier" He said while walking to grab her.

At that point Derek already had his body between her legs and both of his hands in each thigh of her as she was sitting on a high counter, and kind of holding his body with her legs. He kissed her, tongues dancing together, and their mouths were still connected, he whispered to her:

"You are damn incredible sexy! Hmm... I have an idea...stay here…"

Derek went very fast to the bedroom to pick up his cell phone and started to take pictures of her. In every sexy and provocative way, she said:

"Oh, Derek … don't …please…. stop…" She was being extremely charming to provoke him.

"Please, princess, they are just for me…C'mon… just a few…"

Emily then started making poses for him, making faces all the time, and showing off the perfect curves of her body for him. She was only in panties, and her perfect breasts were on full display driving Derek crazy. He was also shirtless, so that Emily could stand watching the muscles and his perfect body too. After a quick photo session with his cell phone, Derek was no longer able to keep his hands (and everything else) away from her. Making a little effort to using the corkscrew to open a bottle of wine, accentuating even more his muscles, Emily groaned seeing this:

"Aww ... hmmm ..."

Derek looked at her and smiled, saying:

"You are with heat, right?"

"Dying!" She said smiling, and that vision she sitting on the counter only in her panties made Derek totally forget about the sandwiches on the sink. He approached her with a bottle of wine in hands, and said:

"How about this?"

He tipped the bottle as if he wanted to pour the wine over her breasts. Emily opened her mouth. Very carefully, because he did not want to pour too much wine on her, only a few drops. When she felt the wine on her hot skin, that brought chills to her. And as soon as the red liquid fell on her breasts and nipples, she bit her own lips, and Derek grabbed one of her nipples into his mouth, licking all around the wine and sucking her nipples as if he wanted to kill all of his hunger.

She was totally surrendered to the pleasure that Derek was providing to her now, but suddenly, he stopped to suck her nipples and started to kiss and run his tongue a little more up, on her scar, that Doyle had branded her, making a clover. On a scale of zero to ten, it kind of bothered her so it was a two for her, she said:

"Derek..."

Interleaving words and kisses on the clover, he said:

"These kisses are for you to remember that from now on, every time you look at here, you are not going to remember Doyle, you are going to remember me kissing you."

This totally melted her heart. She took his head and they kissed on the mouth and she whispering to his mouth:

"I love you..."

Emily was holding his head with her arms and hands as if they were guiding him to do the right thing which was sucking her nipples and she was now moaning, while he was back on sucking her nipples.

Her breathing was starting to accelerate so she was very excited. With both legs around his waist, and with mouths fully connected now, Derek picked her up by the waist and she could immediately feel his bulge pressed against her. Derek then placed her lying on the huge rustic wooden table of the kitchen, and slowly pulled her panties off looking at her just to say:

"Are you still with heat?"

"Yes…" It was more a whisper. Her mouth was already dry.

He took the wine and shed small drops down on every inch of her body, then licking deliciously. Derek was then kissing down her body to her hips, then her thighs, running his tongue lightly up the inside of her thigh slowly teasing her making her shake in anticipation, almost like she was begging for him with her heavy stilted breathing. Derek then placed his tongue gently on her most precious part for the moment, flicking it slowly, as she threw her head back with the pleasure he was giving to her and she was moaning softly.

His tongue was flicking her most precious part up and down fast now and she felt two of his fingers slowly push into her wet narrow walls, sliding in and out, in and out getting faster, making her moan louder now. Derek was still licking at this point and he kept doing until he felt her whole body tense up and walls tense around his fingers as she came. Derek then removed his fingers from her, and he walked around the table to give her a kiss on the mouth, but she was still recovering. He whispered in her mouth:

"I love your taste…" Gently holding his face, she whispered:

"I want more…"

He whispered back:

"Do you?"

"Mm Mmhmm…"

"See that sofa in there?… I think it is jealous of this table here… I think it want to feel your body too…."

She smiled sexy and he took her on his arms and placed her on the sofa and they had another round of delicious lovemaking during almost the rest of the afternoon. After a little while of another wonderful orgasm, Emily said to him:

"Could you please make our sandwich now, I think I'm dehydrated now…" She laughed.

"Yes… I can…. and you….. Could you please not appear naked on the kitchen again...…"

He said smiling while he was dressing with his shorts, making her laugh again.

They ate, laughed, and even spent some time in one another's arms. But it was already dusk. They began to get ready to go and Derek left everything all cleaned up and neat in the house. They took the cars out of the wooden gate. Derek locked the house, locked the gate, and before they could get into their cars, he hugged her, she said:

"I had a wonderful time, Derek…"

"Me too, babe... And I was thinking I'm going to try to buy this house for us… but not for us to meet in a hidden mode only, but for us to spend weekends as a family that I know we are going to be… and bring our children…"

She looked down and Derek raised her head with his finger, saying:

"No sad faces, please…"

"It is just … don't you think that you are dreaming too big?

"No, Em… we are going to be together…I know this! This is not a dream…"

"It is just unfair that … we have to be apart now…"

"It is up to you, Emily…No pressures like I said before, but you know that when you are ready, I'll be right here waiting for you…"

"I love you…"

He gave her a very long last kiss and said:

"I love you, too! And on the road, I'll be right beside you, okay… until Quantico…"

"Okay…"

* * *

**Two months later. **

Emily and Derek were still in hidden mode, because Clyde was even worse with the fevers and wounds on the body, and nose bleeding, and weakness, and he had to repeat all the blood tests he had made, so it was very difficult for her to get the courage to ask for a divorce,, she knew that Clyde would not let her continue to take care of him after the divorce, and that made things even more difficult for her.

* * *

Emily was waiting for her turn. She was looking down at a fixed point on the floor, shaking one of her legs, instinctively, showing how she was nervous, and her mind was miles away from there. So very afar that the attendant had to call her name three times for her to hear:

"Ms. Prentiss?"

"Ms. Prentiss?"

"Ms. Prentiss?"

"Aw…I'm sorry, it's me…"

"It is your turn." The attendant smiled from behind the counter.

Emily got up from the sofa in the waiting room and the young lady attendant delivered an envelope to her, saying:

"It is room number 32, this corridor then you turn to your left…"

"Okay. Thank you."

With trembling legs, she went to the indicated place.

Inside the office, without much ado, the man opened the envelope and said to Emily:

"Well, Ms. Prentiss, Congratulations! You are pregnant."

* * *

**I try to always give you some surprises and this surprise should be wonderful news for Emily and Derek, but the timing may be a little off, so, how will she react to this? Will this new occurrence finally force Emily to tell Clyde the whole truth, so she and Derek can finally be the happy family with their baby, like they both so richly deserve? Please let me know what you think and please continue to give me your wonderful comments and ideas like you always so kindly do, and please stayed tuned here, thank you very much again.**

**Song used: **

**Name of the song: "Try"**

**Singer: Pink**

**Written by: Busbee and Ben West**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi, guys! I missed you all a lot! Hope you all are okay! I want to clarify that I don't have a beta anymore, so apologize in advance for the grammatical errors for this chapter. I'll try my best, okay! Thank you for understanding.**

**I own nothing**

* * *

"MS. Prentiss? Did you hear me?" The doctor asked because Emily was completely without reaction.

"Hmm, yes! Ermm, Ar… Are you sure? I…I mean… I was hoping it was something with my stomach, maybe an ulcer, or gastritis… something like that…"

"Yeah, your stomach definitely has a thing… and it is called: baby! Hope you are happy…."

Still in shock, she said:

"Yeah! It is not just the right… time…" The phrase died in the "time", she had said so low voice that the doctor could not understand this last word.

"Do you already have a preferred doctor that can look after you during the pregnancy? I can name some since my specialty is stomach problems…"

"Oh, I… I already have… but thank you…" She said, already standing to go and putting her purse on her shoulder.

She was leaving, the doctor said:

"Ms. Prentiss? You can have the results…"

Emily took the large envelope with the results and left the place.

* * *

She lived with this secret only to her for more than ten days. The team was traveling a lot for various cases, and she had not had a chance to talk with the child's father yet about the news.

It was a Wednesday night, the team was getting back to Quantico and Emily knew that Derek would come home around nine PM, so, she went there to wait for him. She already had the keys of his home.

She was sat on the sofa, only thinking, and doing the mental arithmetic to try to find out the time of the pregnancy. Since it was about almost three months since they went to that place that Derek had rent for them. It was the only time she could remember they had not used condoms. She was lost in her thoughts when she heard him unlocking the door. He entered and locked the door and walked to her saying:

"Oh, God, It is so good to see you…" He hugged her.

She did not respond to completely to the hug, but she held his arms. He tried to kiss her. She kissed him back but when he tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled off saying:

"We have to talk…"

He was blinking his little bright and curious eyes to her. It was too much for her to continue staring at him, so she pulled away from him, walking around the living room, leaving him kinda sold there.

She was crestfallen, quiet, distant, and it sent a message to him that maybe there was not something good to come ahead. Completely innocent, Derek did not even know what was coming. He tried:

"Hey, Princess, is there something wrong… Please tell me…"

She put both hands in the back pockets of her jeans, she bit her lips and tried all the courage in the world to look at him, and face it once and for all, and go straight to the point because it had no dodge.

"I'm…pregnant…"

His first expression was of amazement:

"What?" She was smiling bright now. He was really happy with the news he would be a father, so happy that he could not notice that the feeling he was having now was not the same of the other person involved. He tried to hug her, but she stopped him, holding his arms. He said again:

"What?" This second 'what' was of worry.

She started to walk in the room because she did not want to have to face him while she was saying:

"Derek… What are we going to do? I mean… this was not supposed to happen now. Of course I want to have a baby with you, but this definitely not the right moment for that… you know that…"

"Wait, wait, wait, Emily… What do you want to do then? You want to make an appointment with the fate and ask our baby to not grow up inside of you… and maybe in two or three years you are going to be ready? Is that what are you saying? You know that is impossible, right?"

"I know this is impossible and everything is already done!" She was not happy at all.

"Emily, this is our baby… you were supposed to be happy! It's a miracle that we both made. It's our miracle that was made by the result of our love. A precious gift that God has entrusted to us and I don't see at least a single sign of happiness in you…. Please…. Tell me that my eyes are deceiving me, because will not endure this reality you despising our baby…"

"I'm not despising, Derek… but tell me how am I going to tell my husband that I am pregnant with another man?" She was crying now.

"How?... (He was nonconformist)… "Are you really treating our relationship as if it was something temporary and superficial, as if I was some kind of hobby so you can run of your broken marriage, as if I was just a lover for sex that you never intend to come clear to anybody, and not like love….Listen to me Emily… I entered this relationship with all my heart and my soul and my life and everything that I always dream as a perfect love to spend the rest of my life with… so if you are not at the same position, please let me know now…"

"Our love is not on judgment here, Derek… I already made it clear how much I love you…"

"So tell him, Emily! How can you be worried with him over our baby? How can you put him in first place over our baby? I know it's a difficult situation because all the diseases he is facing now…but you have to think about our baby now…Please…This was supposed to be happy day of my life and you are ruining everything!"

He sat on the arm of one of the sofas now. She approached him now:

"I'm… sorry…" He could not even look at her.

She started caressing his backs:

"I'm sorry, Derek…please…I'm just worried…"

He got up and hugged her tight. She completely responded to the hug as if her life depended on this now. Still hugged, he said:

"Oh, God! I'm going to be a father!"

She smiled and he could feel her smiling.

He then carried her from the ground and began to spin around, with her in his arms, in the living room, saying:

"I'm going to be a father! I'm going be a father of a baby with the love of my life!"

She was laughing now and saying:

"Stop, Derek, Stop ..." But of course she was not implying that, not a bit. It was just charm.

Then he put her down on the floor, and they fell together in a tight hug again, and fell into a deep and passionate kiss. After the kiss, their foreheads were resting on each other, and he whispered to her:

"I love you."

"I love you, too, Derek…" She whispered back to him.

Now holding both of her hands, he said:

"Emily, if you want I can go with you… we can talk to him and tell the whole true, that we have been in love for almost a decade now, that our love was solid built this whole time… and it's not a joke… and we really love each other… he will understand…"

"No, Derek… Thank you, but I need to do this all by myself… and I'm going to do this now… as soon as I get home… I cannot stand this situation anymore…" She said.

"…..And then we have to tell the team too… and I have no idea…" She added.

"Hey, hey, hey… One thing at a time... Everything will be okay…" He said, holding her chin.

* * *

Emily got home that night around eleven PM. She opened the door and locked it, and walked to the TV room where he probably would be, but he was not there, so she went to her bedroom. He was on the ground, as if he had fallen from the wheelchair, in despair, she down on the floor, calling him:

"Clyde! Clyde! Talk to me…" He was unconscious.

She touched his jugular to see if he was alive while she desperately tried to find her cell phone inside her purse. She called 911.

"Hey, please, I need an ambulance… my husband is unconscious on the floor…Please… The address is….."

The ambulance arrived in less than ten minutes, and they went to the hospital. Emily went along in the ambulance next to him all the time, though he could not see her. At the hospital, he was taken straight to the ICU to perform endless tests. Emily sat there on the bench on the corridors, near the ICU, shaking one leg, nervously, biting nails, looking down, thoughts running. It was after two in the morning when a doctor came to call her:

"Hey, I am Doctor Smith…" He said, reaching his hand to greet her.

"Emily…" She said, greeting him.

"You can follow me to my office, please…"

Once there in the office:

"Emily, right?" She nodded. He said:

"Unfortunately….. The news are not good…"

Emily gulped, and the doctor kept talking:

"We conducted several tests and the results were the same. Your husband has leukemia. The disease is at a very advanced stage. I believe he should have already presented several signs: like nosebleed, scars on the body, or fever, to even all of it together, and ultimately, the situation is very serious, and I fear that if we do not find a marrow donor very fast he will probably not last even three months…"

Emily started crying.

"I'm so sorry to say it like that, so directly, but I need you to be fully part of the situation… so I needed to be totally honest here…."

"Sure…" She said between sobs.

He offered her a handkerchief for her to wipe the tears and nose:

"Thank you…" She said in tears.

"And…. how do we find this marrow donor…"

"Well, there is a waiting list, we need to follow this list and of course there are more urgent cases and we consider everything... Unfortunately, there are many people in the same situation as your husband, including children. There are campaigns in blogs and right here in the hospital there is an area to select possible donors… And you can also take the test, you may be compatible…"

"Yes… I want to do that…" She did not hesitate.

"Okay… Good… But you can home now… he won't wake in the next few hours… Take some rest…"

"Can I see him?"

"Only through the glass…the last thing we want now is he getting a infection which would be his death sentence…"

Emily saw him through the glass. He was unconscious, intubated. Shedding tears with both hands on the glass, she whispered to him:

"I'm sorry…I'm sorry for everything…"

At that moment, her conscience weighed, she betrayed him all this time. She knew she should have told the whole truth to him soon, even though it could hurt him a lot, the truth is always the best choice. And now she had a child of another man in her belly, and there was no way she did not tell it to him now. He would notice sooner or later. But now? It was not fair to him. She was thinking.

Only the exit door of the hospital, she realized she was without her car. She entered the taxi and gave the address to the driver. She paid the taxi, she looked at the house and rang the bell, and rang and rang, and nothing. She insisted for a while, until she saw the curtain move from inside the house, it was when he saw it was her. He then quickly opened the door for her to enter, with the face of sleep:

"Emily, what is wrong?"

"Derek, please…." She started to cry.

"Hey…Everything is going to be fine… come inside…"

He hugged her, kissed her on the forehead… and locked the door.

"How did he take the news? Did he yell at you…"

"No, Derek, no! UI could not tell him… I have no idea what I'm going to do now…"

"What? Why are you saying this?"

Emily told Derek the whole story. He hugged her and said:

"You are not alone, Emily… I'll be with you all the way… You don't have to face anything alone anymore… I'm here for you as always…"

She was only crying on his chest. She needed this. She needed to know that she had someone she could count on.

After a little while, Derek went to the kitchen to make a tea for her, because she was really nervous. He brought the tea and handed to her.

"Thank you…"

They were sat at the sofa. She said:

"I'm sorry for ruined your night… I mean… I know how much you need to rest… lost of cases and stuff…"

"Hey… hey… Emily…Princess…"

Drinking the tea, she looked at him, he said:

"You are my priority! Of all other things I have in my life, you and our baby are my priorities! I'm going to do my possible and my impossible to keep you two safe and happy… you can count on that, Princess… And of course I was not counting on this, not at all, as I know you were not too, but it one more rock that we have to take out of our path to be together and I am pretty completely sure that our love is strong enough to do that, to survive that, and at the end it will be stranger than now and before…"

"I don't want him to die, Derek… I just want him to be happy… and healthy…"

"He will not going to die, Emily, not now… we are going to try our best to find a compatible donor…" He held her hands.

"The doctor said that I can do the tests too… and maybe be the donor to him..."

"Did you say that you are pregnant?"

"…To the doctor? No…"

"You just have to make sure that if in your condition you can be the donor, I mean… to not harm the pregnancy… the baby…"

"Yeah… I will…And I want to do the tests tomorrow because the doctor said that we have to hurry up, he does not have much time…"

"I'm going to be with you…"

"No, Derek… you don't have to…Hotch, the team needs you…"

He took her hands again and said:

"You need me more now. I'm going with you and then I go to the BAU."

She had finished the tea, so he took the cup from her and put on the coffee table. Then he snuggled her in his arms, they were on the sofa. After a little while, he started to caress her belly, saying:

"Hey, little one, here inside, we are going to have to be together to help each other now, okay. Welcome to our family… Wow, Emily… I can't believe we have a baby in here, our baby!"

She looked at him in the eyes. He had some tears in his eyes. She said:

"Are you crying, Derek?" She said affectionately.

"I'm sorry, Emily, but this is too much happiness for me! I know it is not the right moment but… wow… you carrying our baby is the most wonderful thing I could not even imagine! I'm always imagining his or her face, how it would be look like…"

"I hope she or he pulls you… totally you…"

"Oh, no, Emily… it has to pull you that are the most beautiful person in the world…"

"So are you, Derek…"

Emily spent the rest of the night there, so they went together to the hospital the next day.

* * *

Emily spent all morning in the hospital doing tests to see if she could be the donor marrow. Derek was there with her all the time. He had said to Hotch that he would be late for work, and Emily had also said about the health status of Clyde, so she would not be there in the BAU too.

The medical team was wondering who was that presence there in the hospital with her all the time, but nobody said anything.

In the waiting room:

"Emily?"

"Yes, Doc. Smith…"

"Your husband is awoke, he wants to see you…"

"Oh, sure…"

Derek and Emily got up from the sofa, they wanted to say something to each other or hug each other, but the doctor was there looking at them all the time, waiting for Emily to come with him. So, Emily and Derek just looked at each other as if their eyes knew every little thing they want to say to each other, as if they were talking through their eyes. They could do it. They were in love as a perfect match of soul mates.

Derek, then, went to the BAU, and Emily went to talk to Clyde, who was awake, though still in the ICU. The doctor had authorized her entry with mask and clothes and special shoes to ICU. She stayed with him for the rest of the afternoon and early evening, waiting for the results. But he could barely speak, so weak he was. Emily had only her eyes showing, her expressive eyes.

"I was so scared when I found you…"

"I'm sorry, Em…"

"No, this is not your fault, Clyde… not at all…"

"Let's hope the results will be positive, Clyde… so we can do the transplant and you are going to get totally cured from this…"

"Emily, you don't have to do this… you don't need to do a surgery and risk something…"

"The doctor said I don't take any risks donating, so no worries, Clyde, I'll be totally okay. He said the most painful is doing the test that is what I've already done, and also you did a lot for me, you saved my life and I'll be eternally grateful for this…"

"I'll do it how many times it takes… because there is no world for me without Emily Prentiss… the most precious thing God had created…"

"Oh, please, don't say this…"

At that moment the doctor entered the ICU room, wearing masks too, by far, holding a paper with the results, he said:

"You are a very lucky man, Mr. Easter, your wife is totally compatible, she can be the donor, and also, I don't if you already know, Emily, but you are pregnant. You have to be 100% cured Mr. Easter, you two are going to have a baby! Congratulations!"

Emily was staring at the doctor, her eyes wide opened, and Clyde trying to understand what the fuck was going on.

* * *

**Please, please, R&R.**

**THANK YOU!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Aww, guys, thank you for all the adorable comments! I should thank one by one really, thank you again and again, it means the world to me!**

**I own nothing**

* * *

The doctor had entered the ICU room wearing a mask, and more importantly, holding a piece of paper with the tests results. He said to Clyde:

"You are a very lucky man, Mr. Easter. Your wife is a perfect match, she can be your donor! Also, I don't know if you already know, but…..I'm amazed to inform you… You must be 100% cured Mr. Easter, you two are going to have a baby! Your wife is pregnant….. Congratulations!"

Emily was staring at the doctor with wide eyes, and Clyde was trying to wrap his head around what the doctor just said and what the fuck just happened!

The seriousness of the awkward silence building in the room made thee doctor feel like he was a fish out of water. This wonderful news he just delivered seemed to be the worst news in the world for them. He remained professional and tried to diminish the awkwardness by saying:

"Ah... Emily, I performed many tests to check your health conditions, I hope is that's not a problem. Well, I have some other arrangements to organize before the surgery… So, I'll leave you two to it. Excuse me…"

As the doctor left, only then did Emily look at Clyde. He was staring at her, waiting for her to speak. He did not blink, only a face of pure confusion, hurt and betrayal.

Emily was intelligent, she had many skills, but lying was not one of them. She knew that, but she still tried to play it off. With a trembling voice, she said:

"There must be some kind of mistake… Don't worry about that. Maybe there was some confusion and got my blood sample mixed up with someone else…"

"Stop, Emily!" He tried his best to yell, because he was so weak.

After Clyde's attempt at an angry outburst, she felt completely distraught, helpless and heartbroken. He then said:

"Stop lying to me, Emily! Everything makes sense to me now... All the times you came home late, when you couldn't look me in the eyes, and all the times I tried to touch you and you said you weren't in the mood. Plus, this last month you were always sick in the morning and saying it was just a stomach flu, you lied to me the whole time!"

"I really did think it was a stomach flu…" She confessed.

"Fine, you did not lie about that, but the rest…"

"I'm so sorry!

"Emily, am I getting this straight... you cheated on me this whole time?" He said thunderstruck.

Emily wanted to rush out of there. The day had finally come where she had to confess her sins. But, out of all the days, it had to be the worst moment to lay this on him. She could barely breathe, she could barely look at him saying...

"Clyde, I can explain everything, really, I can. But not now. First, we have to fix your situation… your transplant has to go through and once you're healthy and okay, then I will explain everything to you."

"Enough, Emily! I want the truth now! How many times did I ask you to be honest with me? How many times did I tell you that you could leave me? I never asked you to stay with me. Even when I gave you that ring, you could have told me you didn't want it! I gave you so many opportunities to leave me and live your life without me! …And now this is what I get?"

"I did it for you… I could never leave you, Clyde. NOT after everything you did for me…Not after you sacrificed your life to save mine! I just couldn't…"

"Yeah… but you could fuck around behind my back!"

"I was not just fucking around! I was going to tell you everything, but every time I intended on talking to you, something happened and I didn't get the chance. I'm so sorry you had to find out like this…"

"Finding out this way is not what hurts, it's what you've been doing all this time... You should have told me!"

"Clyde, please try and understand my position… I considered you one of my greatest friends, I considered how long we knew each other. Everything that we shared together while we were living together meant a lot to me. This whole thing has been a big spiral of confusion for me, it wasn't easy.. until I figured out that I wanted stay and make things okay for you because I wanted to continue taking care of you and I still want to…"

"I don't need you. I don't need you... anymore, and I don't need your pity or gratitude!" He was pissed.

In that moment, a nurse decided to entered the room saying:

"So, it looks like you already have a donor. We'll have to do some tests now, Mr. Easter. Your health is really fragile now." Turning to Emily, the nurse told her, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave now and wait outside."

"Okay…" As she was going to leave, Emily gave one last look at Clyde, who was not looking at her.

Outside the room:

Emily felt horrible. She thought of herself as the worst person in the world. She knew that Clyde was right, she should have told him everything since the beginning. It also didn't help the fact that she wanted to be with him to take care of him. She knew he wouldn't allow her to do so if they separated. She was ashamed of herself, and she felt really bad for inflicting more pain on him, when she knew that he was already living a nightmare. Emily decided to call the only person who could make her feel better...Derek.

At the moment he was working on a case. He was paired up with Rossi. Derek was driving while Rossi was with him in the car. He felt his cell phone start to vibrate inside his pants pocket. He reached for his cellphone to check whom it was, and said to Rossi:

"Sorry, man... this is an emergency."

He quickly parked the SUV on the shoulder of the highway.

"Hey…" He said, getting out of the car for some privacy.

"Hey, I hope I'm not disturbing you…"

"No, no, it's okay… How is everything going?"

"Well, the good news is the I can be the donor. But, this good news didn't bring any happiness to the situation."

"Oh, and… did you check with the doctor if the baby would not be harmed from the procedure?"

"No, I didn't. But, I know it won't. I'll still make sure though and consult with the doctor further."

"Okay... What's wrong, Emily? I can hear the tension in your voice."

She bit her lip before answering:

"He knows, Derek. He knows about the pregnancy and it was horrible… I feel horrible…"

"I'm so sorry, Emily…. I wish I could've been there with you so you didn't have to face it alone. But, just remember, you are not alone.. okay? Listen, he was just shocked and that was his first reaction. I'm sure you two will have time to talk things over and explain everything to straighten it out."

"Explain what, Derek? I told him that I could explain everything, but deep down, there is no reasonable explanation for what I've done."

"Of course there is, Emily. Look, we love each other and true love just took its course. He will understand. You are not irresponsible and you didn't do it on purpose. We tried to avoid our feelings for each other, but, true love always prevails. You aren't leaving him for some sort of adventurous fling, you've found true happiness, true love but for a truth love…right?"

"Right….. Thank you…"

"I have to go now, okay? But, call me if you need anything... please?"

"Okay… I will… Love you…"

"I love you too…"

Derek got inside the car and Rossi said:

"So, you two are really serious?"

Derek looked at the man sat beside him before starting the car again and said:

"Emily is my life, my air, my reason for living…She is the meaning of my life…"

"Wow…"

"It's serious man. People say that you learn how to love when you become a mother or father… but, in my case, it was when I met her and started getting to know her day by day, little by little. She is wonderful, intelligent, smart, sensible, brave, and everything amazing. Plus, she is gorgeous with a body that drives me crazy. The way she makes me feel is a sensation out of this world. I've never felt this way before, nothing in my whole life has come this close."

"Emily is something really special…"

"Yeah, she is!"

"You are lucky, Derek!"

Already driving the SUV, Derek gave a quick glance to Rossi, smiling he said:

"Yeah, I really am!"

After what seemed like hours, Emily was asked to talk with Clyde's doctor:

Dr. Smith began, "First, I want to apologize for having said that news back there. It was not my intention…"

"No, that's okay, doctor. It's not your fault. We are going through some rough patches in our marriage."

"Well, I think everyone goes through rough territory in their marriage at least once in life..."

The doctor was so oblivious to the situation. He didn't even consider that Clyde was not the father of the precious gift growing inside Emily. So, he said:

"With time, he will be happy. A baby always brings happiness to the couple. Sadly, I know a child isn't really a reason to keep parents together, but it helps a lot for the couple to try and work out their relationship."

"I hope being pregnant doesn't change my status as being a good donor match. Also, I hope the procedure will not affect the baby in any way."

"No, absolutely not. There is nothing to worry about on both accounts. We are going to collect the spinal fluid and that's it!"

"I'm happy I can do this for him… Do you think he will be okay soon?"

"Well, it depends on his recovery and how his organs will react to the transplant. However, this is his only chance, Emily. If he doesn't go through with this transplant, he will probably die in few months."

"Okay then. Let's do this as soon as possible!"

"I also have to warn you that he will be needing you more than ever after his transplant. I know you are pregnant and you have to take care of yourself and the baby. But, after the surgery, he will have to undergo a considerable number of chemotherapy sessions, and it will not be easy. The effects of chemotherapy are devastating. The weeks and months that follow his surgery will be paramount for his recovery, so expect it to be a long road for you and him. He is very lucky to have you… I can see how much you care about him."

"Yes… I do…"

Emily listened to the doctor as he explained all the procedures for the transplant and how the postoperative period would be like.

They were talking when a nurse entered the room saying,

"Excuse me, Dr. Smith... Emily, your husband wants to see you…"

Emily looked at the doctor and asked:

"May I?"

"It is imperative that he be isolated in his situation. It's very dangerous if he gets any kind of infection. However, I'll allow you to see him, but you'll have to gown up and don't get too close to him."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Smith, but the patient insisted on seeing his wife. It seemed really important…" The nurse added.

Entering Clyde's room properly dressed in the protective gown attire, including a mask covering the mouth and nose, Emily kept some distance from him as the doctor had instructed her. Affectionately, she said to him:

"I…I'm going to stay over here. I have to keep my distance to… to protect you. The doctor said I cannot approach you..."

He cut her off:

"I don't want you to be my donor."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Clyde, please, this is your only chance."

"I don't want you to be my donor!" he repeated slowly and slightly enraged.

"Please, you're acting like a child. You may not find another donor, Clyde. The doctor said there's a huge list of people waiting for donors. Plus, he said you don't have much time to wait. Let me do this for you, I'm begging you…"

"I prefer to die, Emily. I don't want anything from you anymore."

"Clyde, you saved my life. I am eternally grateful for that and I owe this to you. It's time for me to save you... let me do this for you now."

"Oh, so this is all about the guilt you always say you bear…It's not about me… you just want to relieve the guilt you feel. Not about to happen, Emily! You can go away, run to the arms of your lover and leave me here. I don't want to see your face anymore, I don't want to hear from you anymore. If I survive this, I'm going to hire a lawyer so he can deal with our divorce and you can keep the house. He will just take some of my belongings from there…"

"Please, Clyde, be rational! It doesn't have to end like this. I didn't want to talk to you before about this because this was what I most feared. That one day we'd be apart and you wouldn't let me continue to take care of you. I want to keep taking care of you, for the rest of my life, if I could…"

"Shut up! Please, I can barely speak or breathe now, so, I'm going to ask you once more, please respect my decision. I don't want you to be my donor and I don't want to see your face in this hospital anymore, at least not to see me…Please, leave now…"

He turned his face to look away from her. Of course, she was shedding tears already. But, she did what he asked and left.

Clyde felt like he was in an emotional hurricane right now, an invading storm that destroys everything. All the love and trust he had dedicated to that woman only to get this in return, what a stab to the heart. Of course he knew that their relationship and marriage was not at its best of moments and very far from being a happy couple in love, but a betrayal like this? Not even in his worst nightmare, he would imagine this happening. He could taste every bitter drop of betrayal. He started to think that it was probably due to his missing libido. It had been clear and the first thing that came to his mind was that since the accident, she had been almost one year without sex. In his mind, it was as if he had failed with her. For him, he always thought it was because of the sex. Always! It was automatic. That's what led him to the thought that he had failed sexually with her, and it made him feel like a real human wreck. Then he started imagining her in the arms of another man, it made him want to die! Or kill someone! He was in a total mess of mixed emotions... anger, pain, sadness, helplessness, failure, and his last thought was: maybe I should just die.

Emily left with the huge feeling of guilt and she blamed herself for everything. She felt guilty because she was the reason he was in a wheelchair and now he has this disease. She also feels a tremendous guilt for having betrayed him, and now if he really dies, she would carry this tremendous guilt over her shoulders forever. But, she could not leave it at that. Of course she would still be hid donor, even if he didn't want it. He didn't need to know. So she went to talk to the doctor:

"But Dr. Smith, he does not need to know!"

"Emily, do you understand what you are asking me? You want me to lie to him…"

"But he's refusing what maybe his only chance to survive! I know that lying is not part of your oath, however, I believe that saving lives is the greatest oath that overrides all the others... right?" She was begging to the doctor now.

"All the oaths are equally important, Emily. I can't lie to a patient like that. I have no idea what happened between you two, but he made it clear to my team that he doesn't want you as his donor. It's all about trust too."

"Even if it could cost him his life?"

"It's already very late, so I suggest you to go home now. Get some rest and refresh your mind. My team is already doing other tests to see if we can find another donor. All I can do for you know, is to promise that I'll talk to him and explain how delicate his situation is now and that he might not survive if we don't do this transplant in a week."

Endless meetings and discussions occurred in the hospital for days, but Clyde was adamant. He didn't want Emily as his donor. Derek had been out for days too, but he kept in touch with her by phone. Friday night came and he and the team finally arrived home from the case. Derek decided to go straight to Emily's place and sent her a message saying he was on his way over. She opened the door for him to enter and she barely had closed the door when she hugged him tight, saying:

"Derek... please, you have to help me. I can't stand this situation anymore. All this guilt is eating me up and now he doesn't want me as his donor. He's risking his life and if he dies it will be all my fault again…"

"Hey, hey, hey… it is not your fault, Emily. Listen to me okay? You should've talked to him since the beginning but, you didn't because you care about him and are worried about him. Unfortunately, he doesn't see it like this. Don't worry, you'll have a chance to explain this to him. You'll have to explain to him that we love each other, Emily. Also, I'm sure he noticed the signs that you two were drifting apart romantically and that things changed. So, it's also not fair that he's throwing all this on you backs now. Please try to stay calm, Emily. If he choose to die, I'm sorry to say, but that's his own choice. You did your best for him, Em. You dedicated yourself to him, you sacrificed your own happiness for him. Things could have been different but your decisions and reasoning were the most honorable and plausible possible…"

"But all this guilt is killing me inside. I don't want him to die, Derek. The one thing I most fought for was Clyde's health and happiness. I just want him to make a full recovery..."

"Let's wait for the doctor to talk to him. He's more knowledgable and will think up more reasonable debates regarding his health. Maybe he'll convince Clyde to accept you as his donor. But, until then... Emily, please try to remain calm. Our baby feels everything that you feel… and all this stress and worry is not good for our baby."

"I know…"

He kissed her on the forehead. She said:

"It's so good to have you here with me, Derek. It such a relief to know that I can count on you, I'm very grateful to have someone like you in my life. "

"Like I said, Emily… You're not alone. You'll never be alone as long as I'm around... I promise you that."

They were just holding each other for a while, then she said:

"You should go now…I know you need to rest…"

"Nah, nah… I'm staying with you… The team is off for the weekend and I'm going to stay with you the whole time. You need me know, so I'll be here."

"I love you…"

I love you too, Princess…"

"If you're not comfortable staying here, we can go to my place." Derek said.

"No, I'd rather to stay here in case someone from the hospital tries to call. I just want this nightmare to end…"

"Okay… we'll stay here then. We can sleep here on the sofa and remember the first night we spent together at the hotel…"

She smiled tenderly.

During the next few days, no one had managed to persuade Clyde to accept Emily as his donor and the doctor didn't want to lie to him about the transplant. That was completely out of the question. But, his health was getting worse. He was practically in an induced coma. Emily had returned to work but just to sign some documents. She was very sad and stressed out lately because of all the recent events. Adding to that was her pregnancy in an advanced age. Then, sure enough, her body couldn't handle all this recent stress... Before she even got to her office, she felt a sharp pain in her stomach. Curving her body, leaning on the railing of the stairs, everyone noticed her pain. Morgan was the first to get up to help her. She leaned into him saying:

"Ouch, it hurts…"

JJ and Reid were also there to try and help in any way they could. Then JJ said:

"Emily, there is blood running down your legs…" It had been easy for JJ to see it, because Emily was wearing a skirt.

"Oh, God..." Emily managed to say, while Derek was already carrying her in his arms, saying:

"Tell Hotch that I'm taking her to the hospital."

"Okay, okay… hurry up… keep us informed…" JJ said as Derek was already rushing off to the elevator.

Derek put her in the back seat of the car and went to the nearest hospital, which so happened to be the same hospital Clyde was at. She was admitted to the emergency room and from that moment, Derek was denied to go along with her into the emergency room. He became impatient and desperate in the waiting room. After a while, JJ phoned him wanting news on how Emily was doing:

"I don't know, JJ... they haven't told me anything! I'm still waiting for some news but nothing. I don't know what to think anymore, I want to run into the emergency room and find her!" All the while, Derek had been pacing the hallway back and forth.

"Calm down, Morgan. Don't do anything stupid. She's being taken good care of, you know that. Just wait a little longer and try to stay calm. Look, we're heading out to a case. I told Hotch that you can't come because Emily has no one to stay with her and doctor asked you to stay, okay?"

"Thanks, JJ. I owe you this…"

"No problem, Derek. Just take care of her… and the baby."

"Okay, I will. Hmm… wait… how do you know about the baby?"

"Well, living along the best profilers of the world and knowing about you two… it wasn't difficult to figure out. Keep me informed okay?"

"Okay. Thanks again, JJ."

About two hours later, someone came to the waiting room to talk to him:

"Are you Ms. Prentiss' friend?"

"Yeah… (he got up from the bench)… How is she?"

"She's okay and so is the baby. But, she'll need bed rest from now on until the baby is born…"

"Oh… Thank God!" Derek said more to himself as all the worry had lifted from his body.

"Can I see her?"

"Sure…Follow me…"

Considering all the circumstances, they made no effort to hide anything from anyone anymore. Once Derek saw her in the hospital bed, he ran to her:

"Emily…hey… how are you feeling?" He asked holding her hands and kissing her on the forehead.

"I'm okay… now that I know everything is okay with the baby…"

"Oh, thank God, Emily… I was so worried. Our baby is a fighter… he will survive this too… just like his mother…"

"Thanks for being here, Derek"

"There's no place on the planet that I'd rather be."

Derek stayed with her throughout the afternoon, as she would remain under observation until the next day. Dr. Smith was a doctor specializing in oncology, the best in town, maybe even the state. Although Clyde had refused that Emily be his donor, he couldn't just let the patient die. So, he took Emily's medical records, with all the recent results from that day and went to talk to her in the hospital room where she was in. As he entered, he guessed the riddle correctly, Derek and Emily were holding hands and he was caressing her on the head. They both looked at Dr. Smith who was at the door. The doctor said:

"Excuse me…"

"Sure…"

Emily was in a sat position on the bed.

"Emily… Can I talk to you in private?"

Emily looked at Derek, and said to the doctor:

"That's okay, Dr. Smith, you can talk to me in front of him, he's a good friend of mine."

"Well, your husband has virtually no red blood cells now. In turn, this is compromising the function of his other organs, almost causing failure of the other vital organs. If we don't do the transplant as soon as possible, he will die anytime. I'm here to know if you are still willing to be the donor?"

"Oh.. sure, of course."

"Okay then, but now that brings us to another situation... You are now also in a delicate situation because of your pregnancy state. You have not even completed three months of pregnancy yet and the more pressing matter is that, you have two babies…"

Derek and Emily looked at each other, amazed with the news. The doctor said:

"Yes... you're having twins and this further complicates the situation, especially considering your age. So, I unfortunately have to warn you, you are able to be your husbands donor, but I cannot guarantee that your babies will survive this transplant procedure. I'm so sorry to have to put you in this situation. I wouldn't be laying this on you if he wasn't in such a grave condition. But, ultimately, the final decision is yours. I understand the risky nature of this situation…"

Derek and Emily looked at each other, as if they were trying to read each other minds through their eyes. The doctor then said:

"I'm going to give you some time to think about this and I'll be right back…" He left the room.

* * *

**Okay. Okay. The drama! I Love! Hahaha. So: will she risk the life of her babies? How Derek will react by that? Stay tuned and please: R&R adorable people. Love you all! Special thanks for my buddy Giselle, who correct it for me… **

**Thank you, Gi!**


	16. Chapter 16

**I own nothing**

* * *

After having felt bad, and severe pain and bleeding, Morgan had taken Emily and rushed to the hospital from the BAU. Once they had known that everything was okay with the babies and she was still under observation, Dr. Smith, Clyde's doctor came to talk to Emily. She was in a sat position on the bed.

"Emily… Can I talk to you in private?"

Emily looked at Derek, and said to the doctor:

"That's okay, Dr. Smith, you can talk to me in front of him. He's a good friend of mine."

"Well, your husband has virtually no red blood cell count now. In turn, this is compromising the function of his other organs, almost causing failure of the other vital organs. If we don't do the transplant as soon as possible, he will die anytime. I'm here to know if you are still willing to be the donor?"

"Oh.. sure, of course."

"Okay then, but now that brings us to another situation... You are now also in a delicate situation because of your pregnancy state. You have not even completed three months of pregnancy yet and the more pressing matter is that, you have two babies…"

Derek and Emily looked at each other, amazed with the news. The doctor said:

"Yes... you're having twins and this further complicates the situation, especially considering your age. So, I unfortunately have to warn you, you are able to be your husband's donor, but I cannot guarantee that your babies will survive this transplant procedure. I'm so sorry to have to put you in this situation. I wouldn't be laying this on you if he wasn't in such a grave condition. But, ultimately, the final decision is yours. I understand the risky nature of this situation…"

Derek and Emily looked at each other, as if they were trying to read each other minds through their eyes. The doctor then said:

"I'm going to give you some time to think about this and I'll be right back…" He left the room.

Emily looked at Derek, waiting for some kind of support from him. He said:

"Emily, you know you can't do that, right?"

"Derek, I wish I had another choice…" she said and her voice was cracking

"What? Wait… are you really considering risking the lives of our babies?" Anger starting to rise within him.

He got up from the chair and walked next to her. She said:

"Derek, the babies will be fine. Dr. Smith had said before that being a marrow donor has nothing to do with the pregnancy. I also did some research before talking to him and there's no risk for pregnant women being a donor."

"Emily, that was before! It's riskier now, especially since you almost lost the babies! The doctor just said that... Did you not hear anything he just said? He said you could lose the babies!"

"He said there was a risk…I'm sorry, Derek. I don't have another option…I won't let him die…"

"Even if you're risking our family? The lives of our babies?"

Before she could answer, the doctor entered the room and said:

"Emily, I need to know your decision now. We gave him an entire stock of blood and it's doesn't seem to be working. As of right now, he may only have a few hours…"

After another look to Derek... she could see the disapproval in his eyes, but she continued to say to the doctor:

"Let's do it…"

"Okay… a team will come with the stretcher to fetch you…" With that, he left the room. Emily then said to Derek:

"Derek, the babies will be fine. Please, don't make this any more difficult for me than it already is. I need you now… I need your full support and understanding… please…"

"There is no way I can support you on this, Emily! Don't you see what you are doing? Sacrificing the lives of two innocent babies, our babies! Our babies were made out of pure love, and just because of him, you're going to risk it all? We don't even know if he's going to survive this!"

"It was, Derek! And I know they are going to be okay! I don't need this right now!" She was already crying.

Looking up to a God he rarely prayed to, Derek said, "God, please watch over them and keep them safe." Then turning to look at Emily, Derek continued:

"Just know that I'm deeply saddened and hurt by your decision, Emily. Even if our babies survive this, something between us will change… and this change won't be good for us. I'm tired of you always giving up on us for him!"

"Derek... please, I'm begging you. Don't you see that this isn't easy for me either?

"I'm the one who is begging you, Emily. Please, don't do this! Think about us, think about our babies… think about our family…"

Before she could answer, the medical team came to fetch her, and Derek left the room in despair. He needed some air. He was angry and sad at the situation and he couldn't do anything. Poor hospital walls, they were the object of Derek's frustrations.

* * *

Emily was taken to the operating room, where Clyde was already in a room next to hers. The procedure would be done with her before him.

Derek had stayed at the hospital the whole time. He was very apprehensive and worried, but hoping that the babies could survive this. Although, he was completely sure... something between him and Emily had just broken when she made her choice. But, he would only be able to deal with this after knowing the babies would be okay.

* * *

It was already night and no news about Emily yet. She was in the ICU recovering from the anesthesia. Dr. Smith had no idea who Derek was, so he didn't even bother to come and give Derek the news about the surgery.

* * *

The team had come from the case and JJ and Rossi went to check on Emily. They had offered to do it because they were the only two who knew about Emily and Derek's romance.

They found Derek in the waiting room. He was leaning with his back against the wall, sitting on a bench, looking up. His thoughts were very far away. They approached Derek and as soon as he could see his friends he felt a sudden flow of slight relief. He knew they were there to support him and he didn't have to stand the pressure alone anymore. He needed to vent, to talk to someone.

"Thank God, you guys are here…"

"How is Emily?" JJ asked. "I tried to call you all day long and nothing…" She added.

"Sorry, JJ, my battery is dead…"

"How is she? I was so worried after this morning…"

Derek placed his head in his hands in complete helpless, he said:

"JJ, I don't know… I mean… after this morning … things were fine… but now… I have no idea! I haven't gotten any news all day… and …"

"Wait… Morgan… we are profilers but not guessers, please… what happened?"

Morgan took a deep breath and finally said:

"We are having twins! We just found out, but the doctor said it was too risky if she was Clyde's donor…"

"Donor?" Rossi asked, a little confused…

"Clyde has leukemia and Emily is a donor match with him. She can be the donor… but the doctors said she could lose the babies. She chose to do the transplant even after learning this. She chose to risk the lives of our babies… risking our love… everything…." He was desolate.

"Wow…" Rossi was surprised. He didn't know all this. After a little while he said:

"Derek… Congratulations! Twins! This is so …wow…"

"Rossi, man, I just found out it was twins, two babies but even before I could celebrate and feel happy about it, this happens. She may lose the babies and I couldn't stop her. It looks like she just gives up everything for him! I'm never going to be able to beat him… he'll always come first to Emily. This is what always bothered me, the fact that we had to be in hidden mode with our romance and our love, because of him. That situation killed me, but I gave her time and tried to be understanding the whole time. But now, this is like a knife stabbed to my heart… my two babies risking their lives for a man that has nothing to do with them and I, the father, couldn't do anything to stop it…"

"Derek… you should try to put yourself in Emily's place… Think about it if it was maybe Penelope, who I know how much you love her… and she was in need of something like this…"

"JJ, I would move mountains to help Penelope, I really would, but I would never be able to risk the lives of my babies. You are a mother, JJ! You know what I'm talking about…"

"Derek… Would you be in love with Emily if she was not the way she is? Loving, caring and always thinking of others before herself? Always selfless… She puts others' happiness in front of hers. Being apart from you so long and now she wanted to save Clyde because she cares so much for him, and I know Emily would never go through this if she thought this would harm the babies. Yes, she did take a risk; but life is about risks, we know that. She took a big risk with you, she expressed her love for you in her heart and soul even though she was married… and we all know that is a huge risk that can lead to complicated consequences as you know…"

Derek was nervous and unhappy. JJ and Rossi were trying to comfort him the whole time while he was very worried and anxious for news about Emily and the babies. JJ said, touching his hand:

"Hey, I'm going to try and get some news about her, okay?"

"Thank you, JJ…"

* * *

After about twenty minutes, she came back and Derek got up when he saw her from the end of the hall. She approached him and said:

"The transplant was successful. They are recovering from the anesthesia, but they haven't checked on the babies yet…"

Derek punched the wall. JJ caressed his arm saying:

"I told them we'd be here waiting for news…"

They went to the cafeteria for a coffee while JJ and Rossi tried to help calm Derek down... supporting him. But, Derek felt betrayed. It seemed like Emily was ready to move forward with him, to only move a step back. He was trying to avoid this issue and just kept his focus on the babies now.

* * *

After about two hours, the doctor came to talk to them. It was a doctor specializing in pregnancy, he had been present throughout the transplant procedure alongside Dr. Smith, and he had examined Emily just now. He said:

"Are you friends of Emily Prentiss?"

"Yes!"

"She's okay. She's in a room now. You can go see her, just don't push too much… Room 56…"

"And the babies?"

The doctor was already turning around to go when Derek had asked that. The doctor turned again to look at Derek, wondering why he was so invested on the babies. All the doctors were under the impression that Clyde was the father of the babies. JJ said:

"We are really worried about the babies… we are her friends… you can tell us…"

"The babies seem to be unharmed by the procedure…but we'll have to follow up week by week…" The doctor gave this little information.

"Thank you…"

After hearing this, Derek was so relieved. He had spent the whole day in endless agony worrying about his twins. He took a deep breath, and let out all the air in the world from his chest. He was about to explode. JJ said:

"Let's go see her?"

Derek was still recovering from all the emotional pain. He said:

"You can go with Rossi… I'm going to wait a little more…"

JJ made her way to the corridor. Rossi said, placing his hand on Derek's back:

"Relax, kiddo. The babies will be fine and don't let your pride ruin the wonderful family you are just starting…"

Rossi made his way along with JJ to see Emily.

* * *

Emily was hoping that Derek was entering the room, not that she wouldn't have wanted to see JJ or Rossi. But, she hoped that he would have wanted to see her and know how she was doing. When she saw that it wasn't Derek who was entering the room, she expertly hid her disappointment from her friends. They talked briefly, and they said how happy they were about the babies and everything. Emily was still a little numb, so, JJ and Rossi decided they should get going to let her get some rest. But before they could leave, Emily asked:

"Where's Derek?"

"He's outside…. He had a really difficult time this afternoon…" JJ said, trying to prepare Emily because Derek was really upset.

"I can imagine…"

"Do you want me to ask him to come in?" JJ offered.

"No thanks, JJ… He can come in when he wants to." Emily said.

"I wonder what's going to become of these babies... what with them having two of the most stubborn people in the planet as their parents…" Rossi said.

They said their goodbye's to Emily and left the room.

* * *

After JJ and Rossi left the hospital, Derek was calmer and he went to see Emily. He entered the hospital room where she was, and approached her:

"How are you feeling?"

"Besides the discomfort left on me from that huge needle they stuck in my spine, I'm okay…"

"Good…" He whispered.

"Derek, the babies are okay!"

"Yeah, I know that. I also know that they have to be checked up on from time to time after this procedure."

"That's normal. Every woman has to go through prenatal check-ups… I told you that they were going to be okay…"

"Thank God they're okay, Emily. We didn't even know if they would be okay after this procedure, but you still chose to risk it. We got lucky!"

"Do you really want to do this?"

"Do what?"

"Derek, it's past. I did what I thought it was right…If you can't support me, at least leave it in the past… I'm okay, the babies are okay… Let's just move on…"

"I can't, Emily…" He confessed to her.

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can't live in the shadow of a man for whom I will never be a match. He will always be first in your life. I've been thinking about this the whole time I've been at the hospital today. After a lot of thinking, I've come to a conclusion: Clyde will always be the first to you, no matter what… If you couldn't even give him up for your own children, it's really hard for me to believe that you'd do that for me. You may think it is an overstatement on my part, but I have been patient and understanding throughout this whole situation… I never in my life imagined myself having an affair with a married woman, but I didn't see you as a married woman…. I saw you as my wife! The love of my life! The person who I was helping to get out of a delicate situation, but then I realized that you don't want to get out. I realized that you'll always be connected to him, one way or another. And I can already see it now: He'll be suffering from the effects of chemotherapy and he has no one to help take care of him and I know you won't leave him alone during this situation... This isn't about jealousy, Emily. Don't ever think that because I can feel that you love me, but I can no longer feel deprecated… I can't be in a relationship where I put you and our children in first place, but you put another person, who has nothing to do with our family before us…"

Emily was silent. But her tears spoke volumes.

"If you need anything regarding our babies… please… don't hesitate in talking to me…"

And with that, he left the hospital.

Derek left the hospital in a rush. He needed to get out of there after the day he went through. It was after midnight, he was just driving around aimlessly for the most part of the night. He wasn't ready to go home because his house would bring back memories that he wanted to forget at the moment.

Bullshit... she was everywhere! On his body, in his soul and everywhere, no matter how far he would go. This was horrible, not to mention his already hard to cure: hurt pride. He loved Emily so much, but it was her who was also causing him so much pain. A sinking feeling in his heart that he chose another man over their relationship and their family. He needed to make her feel that even the strongest love needed to be cared for. Normally, men need to feel like they are important in the life of a woman, especially if it's the love of their life. But the great sorrow in this case was that she was risking the lives of her babies and their relationship and she didn't think twice to do it. All for another man...

* * *

After a few days, Emily was discharged from the hospital while Clyde was hospitalized for another month. She moved back to her old apartment. It had been rented and vacated. Emily kept the house for Clyde since it was already equipped to being wheelchair friendly. She had also returned to work; and the twins were making their presence known as her six months "bump" was showing. She had finally talked personally with Rossi, Hotch and Reid about her pregnancy and the romance that she and Morgan had. Of course, girl talk with JJ and Penelope was a regular thing. So, the whole team was now aware that Morgan was the father of the babies she was carrying. Morgan was excited, spoiling those twins in her belly all the time. But, for the most part, they were just friends for the time being... pretending they were connected only by those children who would come into the world... pretending the love they felt for each other was nothing special.

* * *

Clyde had been discharged from the hospital after a month, but he didn't want to hear a word from Emily. He didn't answer her phone calls and every time she tried to visit him at home, he asked the nurse or maid to say that he couldn't answer her or see her.

* * *

It was a Saturday afternoon, and Emily's belly was starting to weigh on her. She was now seven months pregnant and the two babies in there were getting big. After cleaning and organizing the apartment with the help of a cleaning lady, she prepared a cheese sandwich and orange juice to eat while relaxing in front of the TV. She had her feet up on the coffee table, taking her first bite of her sandwich... when the doorbell rang. She cursed, annoyed to get up because it was difficult enough as it was being so pregnant. She looked through the peephole and it was... him with flowers. She thought for a second and opened the door. She couldn't help but smile a big smile when she saw him. He was standing on crutches which was a very pleasant surprise for her. She reacted:

"Oh, God! Clyde… this is so wonderful! You're up and walking!"

The flowers were kind of under one of his arms. He said:

"These are for you… Can you take them so I can move?"

"Hmm, oh, oh, sure… They're beautiful! Thank you…"

They moved inside...

"Please, take a seat. Would you like anything to eat or drink? I was just eating a sandwich…" She said pointing to the sandwich on the table.

"Oh, no… I don't want to bother you…"

"Oh, no, it's not a bother. I can make you one if you'd like."

"Some juice is fine."

They were sat on the opposite sofas. She said:

"Clyde, I'm so happy you're doing well now."

"Yeah… while I was in the hospital for a month, they performed another surgery to try and fix my spine which I'm still undergoing treatment for. I'm not supposed to use crutches all the time, so I'm still using a wheelchair most of the time. But, I just wanted you to see how much you've helped me."

"Oh, Clyde.. it was nothing, really. You did so much for me…"

"You saved my life, Emily and I've been treating you like trash lately. That's no way to treat you after all you've done for me. What a shame on my part."

"I kind of deserve it…" She confessed.

"No, you don't. You are a wonderful person. Always thinking about others before yourself. I know these flowers won't make up for the way I treated you lately. I just wanted to give you a peace offering. I was giving you the cold shoulder because I was hurting. But, you still don't deserve that kind of treatment. You saved my life even when I told you I didn't want you to be my donor. I knew after the surgery that you risked the life of your babies. I know you're having twins… Congrats! I'm very grateful to you, that's why I'm here. I won't lie, I'm still hurt by your actions, but I thought things through and tried to see the situation through your point of view. I know that you didn't know you were so in love with him when you married me, or I know you wouldn't have married me. I know we can't help who we fall in love with… I love you so much and I want you to be happy... I want you to be happy with him and the family that you created with him out of love. I wish you could love me, as I thought you did one time… but I can see that there are things we can't change. Nonetheless, I'm forever thankful to have had you in life and to you for letting me be apart of yours back then and now."

She was listening to every word that he was saying and it was so nice to hear. It seemed like this huge weight had lifted from her shoulders in relief. She said:

"I'm so relieved to hear this, really. Derek and I… It wasn't just some fling or us cheating behind your back for the fun of it. We really do love each other. I had to risky the lives of my babies to save you. That was a very difficult decision for me…It wasn't easy at all… and I had to risk everything… but I couldn't just let you die…"

"And I love you for being the most generous person that I've ever meet… and I will always love you…"

"I know this kind of talk can be messy, but I want to talk about our divorce. Shhh... I know what you're going to say, but we can't delay this any longer, Emily. This is just as much for me, as it is for you and your new family. We will always be friends, that'll never change. But you need to be with Derek and your babies. He needs you as his wife now and he's a lucky guy because even for the briefest moments that you were my wife... I know I wouldn't have changed it for the world because I was so lucky to have such a loving and beautiful wife like you. I already talked to my lawyer and he is drawing up the papers…"

They talked a little more and finally settled things between them. Clyde was an adult and smart man, if he couldn't have her as his wife. He knew he'd always have her as a caring friend.

* * *

One month later, Emily was eight months pregnant now. It was around nine PM of a Wednesday when she got a visit. She looked through the peephole, it was him. He was wearing his usual black jeans and his black leather jacket with both hands in the pocket of jackets, waiting for her to open the door. Emily felt a pinch in the heart, and a chill down the spine when she saw that it was him. She was seeing him almost every day at the BAU, except when he was out for days, working on a case. He always used to go to her office to know about the pregnancy, etc., and he always called and sent messages to her, not to mention all the little gifts that he had already bought for the babies. But he had never visited her at her place during this period. She opened the door for him to enter. Emily was so surprised but happy to see Derek there. She said:

"Hey…"

"Hi…"

She opened the door wide for him to enter. She said:

"So nice that you came… Do you want to drink something?"

"No, thank you…. I just came to check on the babies… since it is almost time…"

Emily looked down a little disappointed, she expected him to say that he was there for her too, damn hormones that were shaking even more her self esteem. She said:

"Hmm… I know it is not that late but…. you know…. pregnant women sleep at any moment and I was just taking a nap…"

"Oh, I'm sorry I woke you…"

"Nah! No problem… These two almost don't let me sleep as my sleep is all unregulated now…" She said smiling.

They sat, each on a different couch. They looked at each other, as if they had nothing to say, as if they just did not know what to say. She said:

"It's so weird now... we got so attached to each other and now... it just seems that we just met…"

He took a deep breath but he said nothing. After another moment of cold silence between them, he said:

"Have you thought about names?"

"Hmm… a few… since we opted for not knowing the sex of the babies… I thought about some names for girls and boys…hmm… ermm… of course… this is kinda obvious…" She concluded, smiling in nervous.

The conversation was not flowing, and the tension was increasing. But she was trying:

"What do you think it will be?"

"Ohh… I guess…hmm…A couple, two boys, or… two girls…"

She laughed. It was damned too obvious. Derek finally broke the ice and laughed too. After another moment, he said:

"I miss this, Emily…. laughing with you. I know we still have issues to work out but I do not want to be those parents that only there for their kids part time and separately seeing them together and not being together fully with each other with the kids seeing one set of parent at a time… I do not want that for us and our children, Emily. I know we cannot just pick up where we were, I know there' a lot to be rebuild… the thing is LOVE was just a word for me until I met you… and now its all that keeps me alive and breathing…"

She does not need to tell anything as her eyes were glowing as if she could illuminate the whole world.

On that moment, he got up to sit in the same couch as her and said:

"Can I touch it…" Referring to her belly.

"Sure…" She said, almost numb because he was so close.

He placed one of his hands on Emily's belly and he got really close to her belly as if he was going to talk to the babies. He said:

"Hey, you two little munchkins… I can feel you two so anxious to get out in this world. Both of you are playing basketball in there with that thumping and kicking. Take it easy on your Mama, we know you want to come out now but your sweet mama needs her rest and it is hard for her with you two kicking up a storm. We can't wait to see both of your smiling and loving faces. You will be the two most spoiled babies in the world not only with your parents but your grandparents especially Grandma Fran not to mention your Auntie Pen. I think I will have to arrest and put your Auntie Pen in jail so she won't spoil you both rotten…"

Derek and Emily then laughed at this what he just said. He laughed looking at her, and then he looked again to the huge belly and he was just caressing her belly now, then he looked at her again. She was looking at him in the eyes too. She was hoping for him to take the first movement to kiss, but instead he said:

"Hmm, I think I should go now… I know you need to rest and stuff…"

He got up from the couch and she got up too, he helped her. It was kind of something automatic. Like automatic actions from both parts now. He was walking to the door now and she went after him and he turned to wait for her to open the door. But before opening the door, she said:

"Derek, I know we cannot just pick up like nothing happened….. And we have to rebuild what we had…. and the trust that I lost with you and by the actions that I took… I feel really sorry that this has cost me and my children. I so wanted things to be differently for all of us to be one happy family with our children but I know it is not that easy… I know we need to have a long talk and maybe some more time to try and resolve this, yes, because of our two precious babies but not only for their sakes but for our sakes as well because I know our love is always eternal and forever despite our current problems…"

They were looking each other in the eyes, and their mouths. They wanted so bad to kiss each other now, but she would not do the first move, and he did not do too. He just held her face with his hand and placed his thumb on her lips and said:

"I just need to be sure that our babies are going to be okay…"

* * *

Another one month later... it was the middle of the night when Emily awoke with a strong pain, she curled up on the bed and reached for her cell phone:

"Derek, please… Hurry… please…" She could barely speak.

Derek jumped out of his bed, threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and in ten minutes he was at her place. He took her to the hospital straight away. She was screaming in agony throughout the whole car ride.

* * *

At the hospital, Emily was taken straight to the delivery room. There wasn't even enough time to get in contact with her doctor, as he wasn't on duty that night.

* * *

Already in the operating room, they were told they would have to do a C-section to get the babies out. Emily was scared and in so much pain. After all the preparation procedures were done, Emily was sweating from every pore and Derek was super thrilled in the blue hospital garb he was in. He was beside her the whole time, watching the babies being born. They didn't know the sex of the babies because they wanted it to be a surprise. After a while, a healthy baby boy was delivered. Emily and Derek were ecstatic to see their little man. It was like all the problems in the world had somehow disappeared when that little bundle of joy popped out. All their troubles had become so small compared to the happiness they were feeling in that moment. It was then she finally was able to stop looking at the baby boy to look for the other baby and she saw that the other baby was being taken out of the room. She and Derek looked at each other, and she said:

"Where's my other baby? Where are you taking him?"

A nurse approached her and said:

"It's a girl… the other baby is a girl. She's having some trouble breathing... she's really weak. She has to be examined right now."

Emily was hysterical. She couldn't handle the news knowing her baby girl was weak and being taken away. Derek was having a hard time trying to calm her down as she was screaming so loud the whole hospital could hear her. She was crying and she said:

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry, baby. I know it's my fault why you're so sick and might be dying. If you die, I'll never forgive myself… please, you have to save her, please, please, please, please…" She was out of control.

Doctors had to sedate her.

* * *

**Will Baby Girl Morgan survive? Also, will the guilt of Emily's actions that contributed in making the baby so weak and in bad shape, eat Emily up alive? Will all this continue to be an issue for Derek and Emily's relationship or will they overcome all these obstacles and be the happy family they all deserve to be? Please stay tuned here folks to find out and please let me know what you think. Please continue to give me your wonderful thoughts and ideas like you all have always been doing so beautifully. Thank you very much again to you all. For this chapter I had the wonderful contribution of Giselle who corrected it for me and my friend Paul who have me some nice tips. THANK YOU! Please R&R. This is going to end and you are going to miss me! So, do it now when you can! Haha! Just joking, okay!**


	17. Chapter 17

**I own nothing**

* * *

"Where's my other baby? Where are you taking him?"

A nurse approached her and said:

"It's a girl… the other baby is a girl. She's having some trouble breathing... she's really weak. She has to be examined right now."

Emily was hysterical. She couldn't handle the news knowing her baby girl was weak and being taken away. Derek was having a hard time trying to calm her down as she was screaming so loud the whole hospital could hear her. She was crying and she said:

"Oh my God! I'm so sorry, baby. I know it's my fault why you're so sick and might be dying. If you die, I'll never forgive myself… please, you have to save her, please, please, please, please…" She was out of control.

Doctors had to sedate her.

After a few minutes, Emily was completely passed out because of the strong sedatives. Little boy Morgan was still in the nursery and little girl morgan was in an incubator in the ICU. Derek went to talk to the medical staff to know what had happened to his little girl.

"Unfortunately, her vital organs are not working. We had no way of predicting this before birth because her heart was functioning normally. Right now she can't breathe on her own. But, I assure you Mr. Morgan, we are doing our best…"

"How so? What's being done to help my daughter survive?"

"Mr. Morgan, there is no guarantee that she will survive… I'm sorry."

"Oh my God!" Derek put both hands on his head as a sign of desperation.

"Please, I want to see her!"

"Of course, but for now, you're only allowed to see her through the window. It's best for her right now to not get into contact with anything… If she were to acquire an infection now, it would be fatal to her because of her basically non-existent immunity."

"Doctor, does this have anything to do with the marrow donation?" Derek was desperate to find explanations.

In an attempt to calm him, the doctor reassuringly placed his hand on Morgan's shoulder and said:

"Please calm down, Mr. Morgan. Now is not the time to try and understand everything. You and Ms. Prentiss have just had two wonderful gifts born into this world. Try to soak in that moment. I know it's difficult, especially because of your little girls situation, but, let's take it one step at a time and focus only on her recovery."

"And what are her chances of surviving?"

"Unfortunately, I have to be very honest with you; her chances are practically nil... But we will do our best and make sure everything possible can be done to help your little girl get through this."

With tears in his eyes, Morgan held the doctor with both hands and said:

"Do the impossible!" He said, pleading.

* * *

For the rest of the night, Derek was going back and forth glued to the two different observing windows of his precious bundles. Watching his son; healthy and beautiful in the nursery alongside some other babies. To going to see his delicate little girl in the ICU so fragile and fighting to stay alive inside the incubator with all these complicated wires connected to her. Of course he was over the moon to have that perfect little baby boy, but he couldn't help but feel his heart shattering for his little girl.

* * *

Derek was in an extremely wavering experience. From going to see his little guy all perfect to his little girl struggling to survive. That all he could think about was how he could go from heaven to hell, so many times. He couldn't leave them now, it was too hard. So, he spent the night at the hospital. Checking up on the three most important people in his life right now. Alternating between seeing his baby boy, baby girl, and Emily. Although, Emily was knocked out from the sedatives, so it wasn't until the next morning that she awoke. She opened her eyes, everything in her vision was a blur, so she blinked a few more times until her vision became clear from sleep. She finally saw Derek was there.. restless, pacing the room. He noticed that she had opened her eyes and approached her:

"How are you feeling?"

"How is she?" Her voice was cracking.

"Emily… she … she's in an incubator in the ICU. They're taking care of her…" Derek was trying to comfort her but, the thing was, he was too devastated himself to try to calm her.

"Derek, tell me that she's going to be okay…Please?" She begged.

"As much as I want to, Emily, I can't. I really wish I could" He sighed, heartbroken.

"This is all my fault..." She started to cry.

At that moment, a nurse came in the room pushing the nursery basket with their little baby boy inside. She said:

"Good morning, Mommy. I see that you're awake now and you haven't eaten yet (there was a tray with Emily's breakfast on the small table by the bed, showing that she had not touched it). From now on, I suggest you keep a proper balanced diet and don't miss a meal of the day. It's really important to stay healthy so you will produce enough breast milk with nutrients for this little guy. This will make all the difference for him in the future and provide a healthy life without diseases in adulthood…"

The woman put the nursery basket beside Emily's bed, and continued talking:

"Try to sit up. I know it's hard because of the cut of the surgery, but I'll help you with the first feeding, since I know these are your first babies…"

The woman began to adjust the bed until Emily was in the proper position of almost sitting up in bed. The woman took the little baby boy and placed him in Emily's arms. Emily looked at her little baby boy and she had tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

"Hi…I'm your Mommy. I'm sorry for the first time we met. I was worried about your sister… but… I'm very happy to have you…"

Derek was watching the scene unfold before him and had to fight back tears. Emily looked at him and said:

"Derek, they don't have names yet."

"I was waiting for you so you could choose and I can register them here at the hospital registry."

The nurse said:

"I know you are a new Mommy, but you must know the benefits of breast-feeding. Breast milk contains the right balance of nutrients for your baby. Breast milk is easier to digest and the antibodies in breast milk boost your baby's immune system. Breast-feeding might even help you lose weight after the baby is born, which I think you'll be very happy about. Still, breast-feeding can be challenging, so, now I'm going to give you some breast-feeding tips to get off to a good start. For the first few weeks, most newborns breast-feed every two to three hours round-the-clock. Watch for early signs of hunger, such as stirring, restlessness, sucking motions and lip movements. Let your baby nurse from the first breast thoroughly, until your breast feels soft — typically about 20 minutes. Then try burping the baby. After that, offer the second breast. If your baby's still hungry, he or she will latch on. If not, simply start the next breast-feeding session with the second breast. If your baby consistently nurses on only one breast at a feeding during the first few weeks, pump the other breast to relieve pressure and protect your milk supply. After each feeding, it's okay to let the milk dry naturally on your nipple. The milk can soothe your nipples. Use bra pads, and change them often. When you bathe, minimize the amount of soap, shampoo and other cleansers that might contact your nipples. Make healthy lifestyle choices: eat a healthy diet, choosing plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Your health care provider might recommend taking a daily multivitamin as well. Drink plenty of fluids: water, juice and milk can help you stay hydrated. Moderate amounts of caffeine are generally considered ok as well, but scale back if you suspect that too much caffeine is leading to irritability or interfering with your baby's sleep. If you choose to have an occasional alcoholic drink, avoid breast-feeding for two hours afterward. Rest as much as possible. If you can, sleep when the baby sleeps. Don't smoke. Smoking can reduce your milk supply, as well as change the taste of your milk and interfere with your baby's sleep. Secondhand smoke also is a concern, avoid being near people who smoke. Be cautious with medication. Many medications are safe to take while you're breast-feeding. Still, it's best to get your health care provider's okay first. If breast-feeding is tougher than you expected, try not to get discouraged. Feeding a newborn every few hours is exhausting, and it's okay to have a slow start. Just remember that the more often you breast-feed your baby, the more milk your breasts will produce, and the more natural breast-feeding is likely to feel. I'll be at the nursery, and anything you can call me, just press that red button…."

"Thank you…"

Baby boy Morgan was a hungry little baby. He started to feed without any trouble. Derek approached them, he stood close and very tenderly caressed his baby boy's cheek. It was a touching moment between the three of them. But, the thought that something was missing lingered in their minds and in the air and they just couldn't be happy about it. He said:

"So, about the names… have you thought of any yet?"

"Yes, I thought about a lot of names. But now that I'm looking at him, at his face, I think Brian is a nice name… what do you think?"

"I like that... Brian Morgan. What about our little princess?"

Emily looked at Derek and said:

"You can choose hers since I chose Brian's. Fair enough?"

"Ok, I'd like to use my gradma's name…Hannah. What do you think?"

Looking at her baby, in her arms, she said:

"Yes, I love it." Her voice cracked and Derek realized that she was crying. He said, caressing her on the cheek:

"She's going to be fine, Emily. Look at us, look at what we created… Two miracles. We've been though so much together, and we were able to fight through all the struggles in our lives. Our two babies will be just as strong as you and I. She's a fighter, I know it. She will fight for her life... she has our genes after-all…"

At that moment, tears were falling down her face. She said:

"I wish I was as confident and strong as you are…"

That same day, Derek called Hotch, letting him know about the whole situation and straightening it out that he couldn't go to work the next day. He had also managed to register the babies at the hospital registry and got their birth certificates. It was unfortunate that none of the team could come and visit Emily, Derek and the babies at the hospital because they were called out on an urgent case. Even though it was difficult for Emily to walk, she went to the ICU a few times to see her little princess, but she wasn't allowed to approach the incubator.

* * *

After two days, she was in her hospital room nursing the Brian and Derek was beside her when her doctor came in, saying:

"Excuse me. Hello, how are you feeling?"

"I'm conflicted. Absolutely over the moon to be holding my baby boy, but heartbroken for my baby girl."

"I understand how you feel, Emily. But, just know that she is being assisted by a team of excellent professionals. Anyways, I just came here to say that you are physically alright now so you and your son can go home now."

"What? I can't go home without my daughter!"

"Emily…We have no idea how long it will take for her to recover. It could take months and you have another baby to take care of as well. He can't stay here, the hospital environment carries all kinds of illnesses and bacteria. His immunity is not strong enough yet to fight off all the bad things here. He has the potential get sick too and I'm sure that isn't what you want. Go home, she's being well taken care of."

It never crossed Emily's mind before that there was a possibility of her going home and only taking one baby with her. It was painful for her now knowing this. The doctor handed her a paper signed by him saying she and Brian could go home anytime now and he said:

"You can come anytime to see her, but don't bring this little baby. Remember, hospitals aren't a good place for a new born and make sure he only receives mother's milk until he is at least six months." He left the room.

Emily started to cry. Derek approached her and said:

"Em, hey, she will be fine. She needs us to be strong, she needs the best of us… she doesn't need a weak and hopeless mother right now… please, Emily… I am completely sure she will be fine. I know the odds are against her, but I need you on this with me… I need you to believe with me…Please? Try to be strong and keep the faith. I know it's hard leaving her here, but she's with the people who can help her the most right now. She knows how much we love her and we have this precious baby boy to take care for too."

He caressed Brian's cheek as he was in Emily's arms. Emily said:

"You're right…"

"Let me hold this little boy while you get changed."

Derek took the baby in his arms and saw Emily having some trouble trying to stand. Derek said:

"Do you need any help?"

"Hmm, no. I think I can do it… it still hurts a bit where the cut is…But I can handle it, thanks…"

"…And you, my precious little boy… can you give Daddy a smile? Yeah… smile at daddy… Let me see the Derek Morgan smile… the irresistible smile…"

Derek was talking to his little guy and Emily watched them while she was getting ready to go. She couldn't help but smile at them while watching their cute moment.

* * *

After a little while, she was ready to go but she said to Derek before they left the hospital:

"Derek, I need to see her… I need to talk to her…"

"Okay… I'll wait here…"

Derek was in the waiting room with baby Brain in his arms and the bag with his and Emily's stuff on his shoulder, the typical baby bag.

Emily talked to the doctors and then she approached the incubator where her baby girl was and said to her:

"Hey… It's mommy. I know everything seems so hard and strange right now for you. But, life isn't like that…daddy, your little brother and I will come to fetch you very soon… okay? Please, baby, keep fighting and be strong. We have to go home now and take care of your little brother, but my heart will be here with you all the time and I'm going to come spend time with you everyday… I promise…" Emily's heart was now completely broken.

The girl was inside the incubator with wires connected to her so she could breathe. Emily said to one of the nurses:

"Can I touch her?"

The nurse said:

"…For any other baby, touch is really important for her… even if she's not conscious… but her situation is really delicate… However, I'll allow you to do so for a short while. I'm going to ask you to wash your hands there in that sink and then sterilize with alcohol…"

"Okay…"

The nurse opened a small hole in the side of the incubator where Emily could put her hand in to touch her daughter. The nurse said:

"Just be careful with the wires…"

"Okay… thank you…"

Emily put her right hand inside the incubator through the hole, and said:

"Hey… little one… it's me… it's mommy…We are going to go home soon okay… you have to be good… you have to be okay soon… please…"

Emily was having a monologue conversation with her daughter for a long time, until someone approaches her and said:

"I'm sorry, but you have to go now…"

* * *

That morning, Derek took Emily and Brian to her apartment. He helped her with the things. He brought the stroller into the living room, next to the kitchen, just in case she needed it. He did everything he could to make life easier at this new beginning for them. Garcia and JJ had also gone to the hospital to visit her and Brian before she was discharged. Emily was sitting on the couch because she was in a little pain while Brian was sleeping in the stroller. Derek stood, ready to leave. His cell phone had just vibrated with a message that said: 'BAU, urgent!' Then he bent over to talk to the boy:

"Hey, little Zuckerpuppe ... Daddy needs to work now, chase down bad guys ... okay? But, I'm gonna leave you with the best company: Mommy! Be good to Mommy while I'm out… take care of her."

Actually, Derek whispered all this to the two days old boy because the baby was sound asleep. Emily stood up to walk Derek to the door. Before leaving, he said:

"Emily, anything you need, please, don't hesitate to call me anytime. I may be not living here with you, but I'll be here all the time. I want to be apart of his life every day that I can and I'll be at the hospital all the time too, checking on Hannah. Please call me if you need anything…"

Wow, that was really cold when all she needed was a hug, a big one, and feel all his warmth. But, it looks like that wasn't going to happen... and she couldn't blame him at all. So, she just said:

"Okay, Derek… Thank you…"

"You don't need to thank me. They're my children, Emily and I'd give my own life for them…"

She felt a pinch of guilt when he said that, but she remained silent. He walked out to the elevator without even touching her... no hug, no kiss, nothing!

* * *

Emily was trying to stay positive and believe that Hannah would have a full recovery soon, but as soon as he left, she closed the door and started crying. She was compulsively cursing herself... she needed this outburst. Just today, she had called the hospital more than five times to see if there was news about the health of her baby girl. But, every time, the answer was the same: that they would call her if they had anything new to say.

That night, in some city, the team was at the police station delivering the profile of the UNSUB. After this, Derek was totally out of it and Hotch called him for a talk. Derek started the talk:

"Hey, Hotch, I know I've been distracted and I can't focus… but … I promise, I'm going to try to focus and do my best…"

"Morgan… I was going to say that if you need some time off… a few days… I mean, you are important to the team… but I know your babies have to come in first place now and Emily might need you much more than the team right now"

"Yeah… but, it's not Emily I'm worried about... it's my baby girl...

I don't want to fall apart in front of Emily. I don't want to accuse her and make her feel worse than she already feels, especially now that she needs me to be strong and peace to be able to breastfeed and everything. But, the truth is that this situation is killing me inside... It's eating me up! I feel like I'm going to explode at any moment knowing that my baby girl is all alone in the ICU, helpless, without the love of her parents and it kills me even more to know that this is happening because of the wrong choice Emily made! My God, this is creating a huge gap between her and I. I know she needs my full support now, I know she expects it from me, but the thing is: I can't even look at her now… Deep down, I think she already knows that…"

"Morgan, you need to make sure that it's not your pride talking here…"

"No, Hotch! My little baby girl is there, inside that cold incubator with thousand of wires connected to her! And whose fault is it? The woman I love whom I did everything for. The one person I put first! I accepted the situation of our secret relationship, something I'd never do for anyone! And if my daughter doesn't survive, I don't know if I'll be able to look at her face again! Do you understand that?"

"I understand, Morgan. But the love you feel for her, for Emily, for all these years, that's what you have to let speak louder now!"

With tears in his eyes, Derek said:

"Hm, but guess what, Hotch? The love I feel for Emily doesn't come anywhere near the love I feel for my daughter!"

Morgan was deeply hurt inside and he was bottling it all up inside of him.

* * *

Days and weeks had passed and the situation was the same: Hannah had not shown any improvement. Emily went to the hospital almost every day to see the girl, and also Derek whenever he was in town. Of course, he always visited Brian too, who was almost a month old. The big problem was that every day that Hannah spent in the hospital increased the rift between Emily and Derek. Not to mention the pain too, because they loved each other, but the rift between them was getting bigger and bigger.

* * *

It was a Saturday afternoon and Emily had asked Garcia to take care of Brian for a while so she could go to the hospital and spend some time with her little girl. She said to Garcia before leaving:

"I just breastfed him, so he won't be hungry for at least the next three hours. But, if he cries and you feel like feeding him again, there's some breast milk in a baby bottle in the fridge."

"I know, Em. We'll be fine. We've done this before… remember…"

"Oh, yeah… sure… it's just habit…Sorry…"

"Hmm, that's okay, dear. Give my love to Hannah and say aunt Pen is anxious for her to get home."

"I will…" Emily was about to start crying again.

"Hey, Em… she's brave! Look at you and Derek and all you two had to face in life! Not easy stuff, she's strong just like her parents. She'll fight through this."

"Do you really think so?" Emily was hungry for words of comfort since Derek was barely speaking to her.

Penelope approached her, touching her arm, saying:

"I'm pretty sure! And we're going to go shopping together and buy her a lot of pink dresses and cute mini denim skirts and pompom clips for her dark hair…"

Both women had tears in their eyes. Emily hugged Penelope, saying:

"Thank you…"

She crouched near the stroller to kiss Brian:

"Mommy will be back really soon, okay, handsome prince. Be good to aunt Pen, okay…Love you!"

* * *

At the same time, in the hospital ICU, Derek was there to see his daughter. He was already with her. He was wearing the special garb covering his own clothes, shoes, and also a mask covering his mouth to protect the girl from bacteria. He was sat on a chair near the incubator, his right hand was inside one of the holes of the incubator and he was just running his finger on her cheek, talking to her. He ran his finger very tenderly to her arm and then her little hand, and her really small fingers. He placed his finger in a way she could hold it with her own fingers. It looked like she was holding his finger with her own and this brought tears to his eyes. He started to whisper to her again:

"Yeah! Baby… That's it! Can you feel that? Can you feel how Daddy loves you? Please, baby… you have to get well soon. I know you're just taking your time… maybe you don't want to come into this cruel world. I know… it's a dark world but, guess what? Daddy is here and my job is making this world a better place for you. I have a lot of other friends that do exactly the same thing... so don't be afraid, baby. Daddy will protect you always for the rest of your life… until my last breathe. I love you so much, Hannah. You're holding Dad's finger and I know you can hear me…Yup, I know you can hear me. I'm not a singer but, I'm going to sing a song for you. When I heard it, I thought of you. I hope you like it… I'll try my best not to sound like a broken record… It goes a little something like this...:

"In My Daughter's Eyes

I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I want to be

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes

Everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light

And the world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me

Gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes

When she wraps her hand around my finger

Oh, it puts a smile in my heart

Everything becomes a little clearer

I realize what love is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart has had enough

It's giving more when you feel like giving up

I've seen the light

It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes

I can see the future

A reflection of who I am and what will be

Though she'll grow and someday leave

Maybe raise a family

When I'm gone I hope you'll see

How happy she made me

For I'll be there...

In my daughter's eyes…"

Derek was so emotional and touched at the end of the song that he didn't even notice that someone came. Emily was watching during the whole song, and of course she had tears in her eyes. He looked at her, but he couldn't get up because Hannah was still holding his finger. She said to him:

"Hi…" She was also in masks and special hospital garb.

"Hi…" Derek said, still looking at his daughter.

After a little while he said to the baby:

"It's Mommy's turn to be with you now… I love you and I'll be waiting for you, baby, okay…"

He got up now and Emily said to him:

"You don't have to go because I'm here, Derek…"

"Yeah… but… (He didn't have a good excuse)… I just have to go…"

"Hmm, okay. It's because of me, right?" She said looking up trying to stop her tears from falling. He said:

"This isn't the time for this, Emily"

"For what?" She said looking at him now.

"…To think about you! This isn't about you…"

He stopped talking when he saw the pain in her eyes. He just said:

"I really have to go…"

Emily sat there for a while, which seemed like hours, until a nurse came to ask her to withdraw and she left.

* * *

A week later, in the middle of the night:

Emily was sleeping in her bed and Brian was in the crib right beside her. She was having a horrible nightmare in which she was on a cliff and she had to save the two babies. But, one of them had fallen down the cliff and shattered forming a pool of blood, and she yelled and woke up screaming, waking up little Brian that started to cry immediately. She got up from the bed and took the little boy in her arms, trying to calm him walking around. The thing was, she couldn't even calm herself down as her heart was racing and she was hyperventilating. She decided to call Derek. Luckily for her, he was in town:

"Derek… Please… Hurry up…"

"What happened? Did something happen to Brian?"

"Hurry up, please…" She hung up.

"Emily? Emily? Damn it!"

Less than fifteen minutes later, he was at her place.

"What happened, Emily?"

"I need to go to the hospital…I need to go, Derek… Brian is upstairs… he's sleeping again…I need you to take care of him…"

She seemed insane, completely out of her mind, out of control, unsettled, talking non-stop. Derek held her by her two arms and said:

"Emily, it's two in the morning…"

"I… I… don't care! I need to see her! I need to know she's alive… and I'm going to bring her home… yes… that's what I'm going to do… I'm going to bring her home… she needs to be here with us… I mean… with me and her brother…her place is here… so I need to go…"

She had changed clothes already. Derek, still holding her, said:

"You are not going anywhere, Emily!"

"I NEED TO GO!" She yelled at his face, she was hysterical, trying to escape his hold.

She managed to get out of his hands, but he ran to the door to prevent her from leaving. He said:

"I won't let you go out there, Emily… not in the state you're in right now… Emily, we don't need you causing any more problems and pain to this situation that's already breaking our hearts... please!"

Well, that was worse than a slap in her face. She said:

"More pain? Me? So you were just waiting to throw this in my face! So, tell me, Derek… say everything that you've been holding in, say it all in my face! That you think this is all my fault and if she doesn't survive… it will be all my fault! That's just what I need right now…It's not painful enough to have to see her in that condition! Every time I have to come home and leave her there, a piece of my heart breaks and don't think that I don't notice how you've been treating me during this last month! You don't even look at me and you always make it clear that you're here to see Brian, every single time and I can feel you look at me with disdain all the time…..as if I was some piece of trash. All this just when I needed you the most! I'm not saying it isn't my fault, but I've been having these terrible nightmares and when I open my eyes my life isn't any different from my nightmares because I know I put Hannah in that situation and I have to see her suffering from my decision everyday. I already blame myself for many other things and for not being the perfect Mom that Brian deserves but I can't kill myself or turn back time… I was hoping for some support from you but, maybe… maybe our relationship has been a big mistake and you should just come out and say it! If my presence became so hard and heavy and unbearable to you, I'm sorry! That's me! And I am the mother of your babies, and it is a fact that can not be changed now, but you have an option, Derek, you can walk out that door and you do not need to come back ever again if it hurts you that much! I can take care of my babies and myself. I've been alone my whole life, and for a moment I thought I could count on you. But know that if you go out that door, you can forget about me. I'll never prevent my children from having their father in you but you can forget that one day that you touched me! Because I'm tired, Derek! I'm tired of carrying all the guilt of world on my backs!... Or I can count on you, or I can't! …And you have to decide it now!"

She said it in his face, and went upstairs. Derek, of course, punched the wall.

Arriving at her bedroom, she looked at the crib just to make sure that Brian was sleeping. She sat up in her bed and hugging her own legs, and resting her chin on her knees, trying hard to fight back the tears, but it did not work. It was a hell of a lot going on at the same time.

After he was a little calmer he went to talk to her. He stopped at the door of her bedroom, he looked at her. He approached her sitting on the edge of her bed, next to her, and said:

"Emily… I'm sorry…"

"Are you?!" She asked, looking at him, as if he was really meaning it. Her eyes were swollen red from weeping.

"Yes… I'm sorry, okay… but this whole thing has not being easy for me too… It was so wrong of me that way that I've been treating you as I know our baby girl need us together for her, and as if I could seek a reason to justify all of this and as if it would relieve the pain or her situation…"

He said that and touched her hair as if caressing her, he approached a little more and put her in a hug, and Emily let herself being hugged by him, crying a little more now, and increasingly fitting in his arms, that she had missed so much. And Derek was caressing her on the hair, until she was practically lying on his lap and he stroking her on the head, her hair, until she fell asleep again. After a little while, Derek fell asleep too.

* * *

Next morning, it was about half past five in the morning, Brian started to cry and Emily woke immediately, waking up Derek too, because she was practically sleeping over him. She murmured, still asleep:

"He must be hungry…" She was about to get up, Derek said:

"I pick him up…"

Derek got up and picked Brian up from the crib saying:

"Oh, my big boy, you got that mighty throat that you have! This shows your daddy that you have such a big mouth just like your daddy… Hey, hey, no need to cry! Calm down! Shhh…. You will already have what you want…."

And the boy screamed incessantly, wanting his milk. Derek handed the baby for Emily on the bed. She changed his diapers and started to feed him. Derek said:

"While you feed him… I'm going to make you a coffee…"

"Derek… I don't drink coffee anymore… doctor said that it is not good for me right now… but you can prepare something healthy for me… and you… and…"

"Ahh… Sure…"

He went downstairs.

* * *

They were eating now… Emily was ready to go to the hospital and Derek had to go to the BAU. It was about half past six in the morning now. Derek said:

"So, I can take you at the hospital… and I stay in the car with Brian and you enter to check on her and stay with her… I will bring you home and then I'll go to the BAU..."

"Yeah… that sounds good since I really did not want to take Brian inside the hospital...But I did not want you to be late for work...…"

"Oh, don't worry, Emily… my family is my priority…"

She looked at him and there was almost a smile in her face. Derek said:

"Emily… I was thinking… we could ask my Mom to come and stay with you… I mean… during this period that Hannah is at the hospital… so she can stay here with Brian all the time… and while I'm working…and she has been calling me every day, she misses them a lot…What do you think?"

"Derek...I think at this moment we are not in a position to refuse any help...… if she can do it… it will be a big help if she can come…"

* * *

At the hospital, on the morning:

Derek was inside his car, playing with Brian, while Emily had gone to see Hannah. She walked through the hospital halls until ICU child, firm and wide steps, towards the ICU, but suddenly she stopped and her legs failed. Through the huge glass, she could see the incubator was empty: Her heart stopped. She was completely breathless.

* * *

**There you have it folks. I know: so mean of me! Is Hannah going to survive or is it one more guilt for Emily's backs? Please stay tuned for this channel to find out and please continue to provide me with your ideas, suggestions and comments on what you think like you all are always so magnificently doing all the time. Mega thanks to you all and love you all as always.**

**For this chapter I used some information from a site called Mayoclinic, about motherhood; and also a song "In My Daughter's Eyes", from Martina McBride.**


	18. Chapter 18

**I own nothing**

* * *

Morning at the hospital:

Derek was inside his car playing with Brian, while Emily had gone in to see Hannah. She walked through the hospital halls with wide, firm steps to get to the child ICU. But, suddenly she stopped and her legs failed. Through the huge glass window, she could see the incubator was empty: Her heart stopped. She was completely breathless.

She started walking fast towards the ICU information desk to ask the first nurse she met:

"Where is my daughter?"

"Well, I just started my duty, let me check…"

"Oh my God… please…"

Emily was very apprehensive as the nurse checked some papers. She said to Emily:

"She was transferred... I don't have many details here, you need to speak with the doctor..."

"Where is he, please?" She begged.

"I'm going to call him for you…"

"Please! I'm sorry but I'm really worried about my baby girl… I need to see the doctor right this second… I need answers right now, please…"

After a wait that seemed like centuries to Emily, the doctor came to talk to her, taking Emily to his office:

"Emily… your daughter woke up!"

"She did? Oh my God…I want to see her…"

"You will very soon… first I need to advise you that she is still very weak, but she can breath on her own now… that's why we took her off the machines and out of the incubator. But she will have to stay in the hospital at least for another week…"

"Oh my God… this is so… I'm so happy… let me see her, please…Can I carry her? I've never carried her…I want to feel her in my arms…"

"Emily, I suggest you calm down before seeing her… take a breath… control your emotions… she needs you to be calm … she can feel all the things you're feeling and since you and her don't really have a mother-baby bond, it will be the first time for you and her… it's really important that this moment between you two starts only with love and peace, so she can feel only good things and not tears, anxiousness or fear…"

"Okay… okay… you're right… I need to calm down."

* * *

When Emily calmed down, the doctor took her to the room where Hannah was. Emily approached the crib she was in. The girl was awake. The doctor said:

"Well, I'll let you have your moment with her… but remember what I said…"

"Okay… thank you…"

Emily looked at her little girl and the girl was looking at her too, for the first time. Emily said:

"Hey, baby… Hi…" She said smiling, fighting back tears already.

Emily took her from the crib and brought her her arms, very carefully.

She snuggled her daughter in her arms and the baby seemed to be in the best place in the world, feeling the warmth of her mother's body.

"Hey my beautiful baby girl….. mommy's here now… I know we never got to spend much time together and I never got to touch or hold you… I really wanted to, but it just couldn't be helped as you were fighting to get stronger… and that's what you did, baby, you fought and you won. You know, so many people love you, not only me, daddy, your brother, your grandparents and Aunties Sarah and Desiree, but your BAU family too, Aunties Pen and JJ, Uncle Spencer, Uncle Dave, Uncle Aaron and a lot of people that were praying for you. I love you so much, my precious baby girl and I'm so very happy you'll be okay now. We are going to have a fun and happy life together, all of us.. I know it."

After a little while, a nurse came to see them:

"Mommy… I have to check on baby now… how is she?"

"She looks pretty good to me… I mean… the doctor said she's still weak and I noticed that my other baby is heavier than her…"

"That's because she was only fed by serum… but from now on… we have to make sure she gets used to her mother's milk… and I'm here to help you…"

"Oh… I have another baby so I'm used to doing it…"

"I know… but just in case she doesn't adapt, I mean… you have to keep in mind that this is all new for her… it's like she was born last night…She just opened her eyes a few hours ago… she doesn't know anything… so she might take a few moments to get used to the breastfeeding… but this is very important for her to heal completely…"

Emily spent a long time with her daughter, just interacting with her. She was sitting in a comfortable armchair in the room, feeding her daughter, while Hannah was clutching Emily's index finger, as if she didn't want to drop her mother anymore. Without realizing it, an hour had passed already and Derek was starting to get worried. He had already gotten three messages from JJ calling him to work. So, he decided to enter the hospital with Brian in his arms. He went straight to the ICU and he had the same reaction as Emily. But soon a nurse came to talk to him, saying:

"Your daughter was transferred… I'll take you to see her…"

* * *

Derek was apprehensive because the nurse didn't tell him where she had been transferred to. His heart was restless until the nurse opened the door to one of the rooms in the pediatrics area of the hospital, offering him to enter. The scene he saw in front of him was Emily feeding the baby in her arms. The nurse closed the door leaving Derek there with his family. Emily looked at him and smiled with tears in her eyes. Derek smiled at her, approaching them, no words needed to be said at the moment. Derek was just observing the perfect interaction between mother and daughter. Derek didn't want to interrupt the moment. After a little while he said:

"Emily… this is so wonderful… our baby girl is okay now… can she go home already…"

"Doctor said she needs to stay a few more days, Derek… I won't be able to go home and leave her here now… you need to call your mother so she can stay with Brian and I can stay at the hospital with her. Also, during the day I'll go home to stay with Brian and at night I'll come to stay with Hannah…"

"Sure… I'm going to call my mother right now…"

* * *

During the following week, Fran Morgan came from Chicago to spend the whole week helping Emily divide her time between home and hospital, while Derek was working on a case. But, he always called them at the end of the day or at the end of the case. As promised by the doctor, after a week, Hannah was discharged from the hospital. Emily now had two cribs in her bedroom at her apartment.

* * *

Fran had returned to Chicago and Derek was visiting the twins whenever he was in Quantico. Hannah was improving every day, and the twins were two months now.

* * *

All of the BAU family and Derek's family were gathered for the baptism of the babies. After the baptism they were at Derek's house for lunch. During a girl's moment, JJ and Penelope approached Emily to talk to her:

"So… now that Hannah is totally okay… what about you and him?"

"Me and him?"

"Oh God…give me strength! You and the guy that helped you make these two little chocolate babies…" Garcia said.

"Ah… hmm… ermm… he is a good father… and…that's it…"

"That's it?"

"C'mon, Emily… and what about all the love you feel for each other?"

"I think we have to dig to the bottom of our hearts again and try to find that feeling again…I mean… with all the recent happenings, it really messed up everything between us…"

"Well, knowing you two… you with your stubbornness and him with his pride… I bet you'll both spend the rest of your lives suffering without each other than take the plunge…"

"Emily… what am I going to do with you and my Chocolate Thunder? I love him to death but he can be the stubbornest person I know, sounds familiar? You my raven haired doll are just as stubborn as him, God help my two darling babies because they will definitely have both their parents' very stubborn and proud traits. Now you two better tie the knot soon or I will tie you both in a closest until you both get your shit together…"

"Pen, do not use that language in front of the babies…" JJ said, jokingly.

"JJ, these babies shit all the time, nothing wrong with that word, right Emily?"

"Yes, Pen, I have to change these poopy diapers all the time. But, you're right, Derek and I are at a standstill. We're both too proud and stubborn to give in and admit we were both wrong and make up and get back together. I have no idea how this is going to happen…"

"Emily, you and Derek belong together and will love each other forever. You need to get back together not just for Brian and Hannah, but for you two…You both won't be happy and complete unless you're both living together and married to each other. Take it from Will and I, being married with Henry all under one roof is the best gift in the world…"

"JJ, I have no idea how Derek feels about me after the whole Clyde thing. I mean… he's a great father and stuff. He does everything for the babies but, with me, he's always cold and distant… and hmmm… speaking of changing diapers…. By this smell, I think it's time to change some poopy diapers now…"

Emily got up and took the stroller with the twins to the room to change them. JJ and Penelope looked at each other and said together:

"Yeah! We have to do something…"

"Yes, JJ, we have to take the plunge for these two. If we wait for Derek and Emily to make a move on their own, these twins will be adults by the time they get it together! We have to give them a push, JJ."

"Pen, I'm afraid your push might be too much and push them in the wrong direction…"

"Hush, my angel... ye of little faith, trust me... I have the perfect plan!"

* * *

About ten days later, JJ and Penelope had ordered a bouquet of roses to be delivered in the morning when everyone on the team would be at the office. Penelope and JJ knew that the flower delivery guy was coming, so they were around Derek's table with Reid just talking, along with Rossi as well. Penelope had already authorized the entrance of the guy to the BAU building. The elevator door opened and:

"Hey, excuse me… I'm looking for… (He looked at the small envelope on the red roses and said…)…. Emily Prentiss…"

Everyone looked up at the same time and saw the huge bouquet of red roses. Derek frowned, of course he didn't like it. Penelope approached the guy and said:

"She's not here right now, my dear, but I'll make sure to get these to her. It's always nice to receive flowers, especially if it's from some secret admirer…"

"So secret that they must not know that she's still on maternity leave…" JJ said.

The guy left the place returning to the elevator. Penelope, with the bouquet in her arms, said:

"Someone must be in love with Prentiss…"

"Look… there's a card…" JJ said.

Derek looked dumbfounded.

"We're not supposed to open the card…" Penelope said.

"Yeah… but since the envelope is opened already… I think there's no crime in reading the note…I'm too curious…" JJ said.

"Oh, JJ… I can see that your angel side completely vanished now…" Penelope said.

"On the contrary, my friend… I'm trying to protect my dear friend, Emily… I don't want her to suffer…" JJ said, looking at Derek.

"Okay, okay… you've convinced me… Let's read it…" Penelope said, excited.

"Let me read it…" Derek got up and took the small envelope that was on the flowers.

Derek opened the envelope and took the small note that was inside and read the note:

"This is just the first step. I hope you like the flowers. I met you at the hospital. Maybe we can share good moments together because I really liked you…Love, EF"

"Soooo, is there a name?" Penelope asked, excited.

"No, there's no name… and I thought you guys were my friends!" Derek said, protesting.

"Aw… What does this have to do with our friendship?!" Penelope asked, pretending she didn't know what he meant.

Derek was kind of pissed now, but he didn't say anything. Penelope said:

"You're a fool, Derek. You know I love you to death, but you can be so dense at times! Like now, the total polar opposite of our Boy Genius Reid... if you don't do something fast you will lose Emily forever. She's the most sweetest and gorgeous woman in the whole world. If you don't do something soon, you'll lose her to the masses of men like this secret admirer. Get off your high horse, swallow your pride and admit your mistakes. Apologize to her and confess your undying love to her and marry her because if you lose her, you'll slap yourself silly and I will slap you too…"

"Pen is right, Derek. You don't want to let something this deep and special with Emily slip through your fingers or you'll beat yourself up. I'll help Pen to beat you up too if you blow this…"

* * *

After that push given by Penelope and JJ, Derek really stopped to think that he needed to do something quick. For the next few weeks, they planned everything, every detail of how they would do it. Penelope and JJ would help him along the way, including bringing Emily to his place. They planned everything for Friday night. Derek even called his mother and two sisters to come to spend the weekend with the twins. But, they knew they would have to stay in Emily's apartment. A day earlier, at the BAU, Penelope called Emily:

"So, get ready for tomorrow night... We're going to pick you up for girl's night ..."

"Oh, Pen... No, I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass ... "

"Nah, nah! ... No way! You need some time off of diapers and crying babies."

"No, Pen! I can't leave them. Also, I'm feeling so lousy lately… and Derek's family is coming to spend the weekend… I can't leave them alone…"

"Em! Derek's family is your family too since they're related directly to your kids... they'll understand. That's also another reason for you to accept because you don't know when they're going to be here again to take care of the twins so you can go out…"

"Pen… please…"

"Okay, okay… tomorrow night at 8! Bye, Bye, duty calls!"

Penelope hung up, leaving no space for Emily to decline again. In fact, Derek's mother and sisters already knew the whole plan, so they were coming to stay with the babies. The only one who didn't know anything was Emily.

* * *

The team were out on Thursday night working on a case, but all of them were devoting their best to end the case immediately and return home. They were also praying that they wouldn't have another case on Friday and ruin the plans. But, they were lucky. So, on Friday afternoon, Derek's sisters and mother were already at Emily's apartment to see the twins. Emily was so thankful, even though she really loved her babies, it was too much for her to take care of two hungry children... crying, changing diapers all the time, and just dealing with them 24/7 all alone. She was happy that they could be held by others because her arms were already sore. But, the babies only wanted to be on her lap, most of the time. It seemed that Brian and Hannah were competing to see who nursed more, or who was more in mommy's lap. Emily loved it... But, she was exhausted!

* * *

Sarah was carrying Hanna and Desiree had Brian in her arms, so she said to her Mother, Fran:

"Mama, I actually remember a bit when Derek was Brian's age and I could swear I'm staring at Derek when he was this age. Poor Brian you better not be like your daddy…" She said, jokingly.

"Tell me about it…." Emily said, smiling.

"…And I can see that they're identical twins because I can see my brother in that beautiful little girl as well, sorry Emily…" Sarah said.

"Ah, no… that's totally okay…" Emily said smilingly.

"We don't know you too much, but I hope they push for your temper because if they end up being like Derek…"

"Aw.. you two, stop that with your brother. If Brian turns out exactly like his father, that would be a good thing. Stop teasing about your brother. I hope you two don't give Brian the same treatment you did with Derek all his life…"

"Yes, it would be wonderful if Brian was just as sweet and loving as his Dad, but Derek can be the most stubborn, pig headed and hot tempered man in the world.. that drives me insane just like now! We are a family but we're not complete… Sometimes I want to shake some sense into him. So, I hope Brian isn't completely like him ending up with these frustrating qualities that Derek has…"

Fran, Sarah and Desiree were laughing inside as they knew what Derek had planned for Emily. They were all saying to themselves 'to be patient Emily, for your frustrations will all be over after tonight... He will knock your socks off.' So.. Fran, Desiree and Sarah all looked at each other with smiles and secretive looks.

After a while of more talking and laughing, Emily said:

"So, JJ and Penelope really insisted that I spend a girl's night with them. Are you guys sure there's no problem with you staying here with the twins?"

"Completely sure, Emily… you deserve to have some fun too…" Fran said.

"And as long as you filled some bottles with your milk, so we don't have to call you to come home…"

"Oh yes, there are three for each one in the fridge. Also, I don't know how tired Derek will be tonight but, he'll probably come to see the twins as he always does after a case…"

"Hmm… okay… that's fine…"

"Okay then, I'm just going to get ready…"

Sarah said: "Emily, can I help you with your dress, hair, make-up, etc? You know I have a salon salon in Chicago so I have some experience…"

Emily was a little confused as to why she was offering so much help, she said:

"Oh, Sarah… I appreciate that, but I don't think it's necessary. I'm just going to meet up with two of my best friends and we're not planning anything big… so I can dress in something simple…"

"No, of course not… you have to be the prettiest and I know how new mothers can feel ugly sometimes… I'm going to help you…"

* * *

The two women went upstairs. While Emily was in the shower, Sarah had chosen a sexy, black dress for Emily to wear. It would show off all of Emily's curves, plus matching sexy black lingerie. Sarah also found some sexy high heels that were also comfortable for Emily to wear. She also prepared the dressing table, with makeup to be used and a hair dryer. After a while, Emily emerged from her bathroom wearing a bathrobe, and drying her wet hair with a towel. Emily saw everything on the bed and said:

"Oh Sarah, don't you think that's a bit too much? I mean… it's just…"

"No, Emily... you have to feel gorgeous tonight…this dress is wonderful and it will make you feel wonderful. Also, these heels will look great with your outfit and they're comfortable at the same time. I knew you'd need comfortable shoes after having the twins make your ankles all swollen."

Emily, being the great profiler that she is, got a little suspicious as nothing got past her, she said:

"Sarah, if I didn't know better.. I'd say you were trying to help me prepare for a date…"

"Yes, But a date with yourself! So you can regain your self confidence. Also, think of it like a freedom party showing off your beauty to the whole world tonight, freedom from no diapers and crying babies for one night…"

"I love to be with my babies…" She said more to herself and thinking about the whole situation that was happening.

"I know you love them but it's just a small portion of the night. Also, this is just as much for Mama, Desiree and I because when you're here, the twins always want you to hold them... which is natural and understandable. But, this alone time with them without you will get them more used to you not being around all the time and more used to us. Plus, we really love taking care of them and playing with our precious nephew and niece. You know Mama loves her precious grandbabies…"

"Yeah… I guess you're right. I'm sorry, you're being so sweet…"

"Okay… first the hair…"

Sarah styled Emily's hair.. leaving her hair slightly curly, just absolutely beautiful. She also did a soft makeup look on her face, with accentuated her outfit and hair... just beautiful, but discreet at the same time. After hair and makeup were done, Sarah said:

"Well, now I'm going to leave you so you can get into your dress. See you down there…"

"Thank you…" Emily said, smiling sweetly at her.

As soon as Sarah left the bedroom, Emily looked at the dress and lingerie on her bed... she really thought that it was too much and she would just wear some jeans and a blouse. But, it would be rude to Sarah and she had dedicated so much effort and showed her great affection... so Emily ended up dressing exactly the way Sarah had planned. After all, she felt sexy and beautiful. She took one last look in the mirror once she was all dressed and ready, then she thought: "Oh Derek, I'd change anything to be with you… Why? Why do you have to be so headstrong?!" She stopped thinking about him when she felt the first tears forming... she didn't want to ruin her makeup.

* * *

Emily was a little heartbroken that she had to leave her twins, but she decided to go out anyways and try to enjoy the evening with her friends. Once she got inside JJ's car, she said:

"Guys, I love you so much. I don't ever want our friendship to be ruined.. so don't make me regret this night.."

"Of course not, we're gonna have a great time. You'll thank us later, I bet!" JJ said.

"Don't worry my, Sugar Plum... Tonight will be great! After tonight, the only thing you might regret is that we didn't do this sooner. You'll have so much fun tonight you'll forget your last name…" Garcia said.

"I can't drink alcohol and that's the only way I would forget my last name…"

"…Or maybe change it…" JJ whispered, referring to Emily's last name, but Emily didn't get what she said.

"Pardon?" Emily asked her.

"Oh, nothing… Emily. That's not what Pen meant. We know you can't drink because you're still nursing the twins. Pen meant that you'll have so much that you'll forget everything, at least for a few hours…"

"Yes!" Penelope agreed.

Penelope was sitting in the back of the car, JJ was driving and Emily was in the passenger seat, beside JJ. They had prepared everything carefully. After a short while of driving, Penelope said:

"Well, the fun is going to start now. Sorry, honey, but we're going to have to blindfold you for a few minutes…"

Penelope took a black piece of cloth to put over Emily's eyes while JJ was driving.

"Oh no, Pen! My God! What are you two up to?"

"It's a matter of trust, dear!" Penelope said.

"And don't try to take the blindfold off or our friendship is ruined forever and a day…"

"Pen, just be careful with her hair… it's really beaaaaaaaautiful tonight…" JJ said.

"I don't know if I should thank you for this… I do trust you two, but isn't this like the blind leading the blind because you two are really insane at times, especially you Pen…" Emily said.

"Ouch! That hurt, Emily. You wound me deeply…" Penelope said laughing.

* * *

Derek Morgan had prepared a special dinner and many other special things for the night as well, but that would only be revealed if what he had planned, with the help of Penelope and JJ, worked the way he wanted.

He was watching through the curtain and when JJ parked her car in front of his house, he unlocked the gate and unlocked the door.

JJ parked the car in front of his house and the three women got out of the car. JJ and Penelope were on each side of Emily holding her arms and guiding her to walk. JJ opened the gate and they mentally cursed the noise that the gate made: Damn gate! That noise was very familiar to Emily and at the moment she heard the noise she knew where she was, especially when Penelope and JJ helped her with the five steps to the front door. A hush fell over them, but the whole thing was already consummated. It was too late to turn back. They left Emily inside the house and vanished from there while Derek locked the door. Emily knew where she was. The house smelt of food, good food, but his cologne was all around. She just stood there without taking off the blindfold. He approached her, running his fingers gently up her arms, until he reached her face. He held her face in between his hands... it was now or never, he would try to kiss her. The thing was... would she return the kiss or not.

* * *

**There you have it guys! I know, naughty of me to end this chapter like that… hahaha! But, will Emily return the kiss? Will her stubborn trait show here and give a little pay back to Derek, or will she melt in his arms like we all know she wants to do? Please let me know what you think... like you all are so fabulously doing already, always providing me with your great suggestions and comments. Please keep them rolling and thank you all very much again, love you all.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey guys, this chapter will be a little hot as our couple don't be together for a long, long time…So, if you are still a 'baby', don't read, okay! But if you aren't… hehe…HAVE FUN!**

**I own nothing**

* * *

Derek Morgan had prepared a special dinner, as well as, many other special things for the night. But, all that would only be revealed if what he had planned, with the help of Penelope and JJ, worked the way he wanted.

He was watching through the curtain and when JJ parked her car in front of his house, he unlocked the gate and the door.

JJ parked the car in front of his house and the three women got out of the car. JJ and Penelope were on each side of Emily holding her arms, guiding her to walk. JJ opened the gate and mentally cursed the noise that the gate made: Damn gate! That noise was very familiar to Emily and at the moment she heard the noise she knew where she was.. especially when Penelope and JJ helped her with the five steps to the front door. A hush fell over them, but the whole thing was already consummated. It was too late to turn back. They left Emily inside the house and vanished while Derek locked the door. Emily knew where she was. The house smelt of food... good food, but his cologne was all around her, consuming her. She just stood there without taking off the blindfold. He approached her, running his fingers gently up her arms, until he reached her face. He held her face in between his hands... it was now or never, he would try to kiss her. The thing was... would she return the kiss or not?

Derek was gently holding her face with both hands and Emily was totally consumed by his cologne and his soft hands holding her, when she felt his lips touching hers. At first, she was just paralyzed, but when he slowly engulfed her in a warm hug while trying to deepen the kiss, she easily melted into his arms like jelly: she returned the hug and the kiss. Derek made a smart move to take off the blindfold from her eyes and they kissed passionately for a long time.

Emily was a badass, a tough cookie and she was difficult to tame. So, of course she didn't want to melt so easily into his arms. Especially after she had been put through hell by him during these past few months. They had lost so many precious moments they could have spent together during her pregnancy. But, that didn't happen, obviously, because of his stupid pride. But, on the other hand, what the fuck! He was hot as hell! He was her love! He was her man! He was the father of her two precious babies! So, let's save the sweet revenge for later where it could bring some pleasure and fun for both sides. Breaking the kiss for some air, he said:

"You made me feel like a poor little boy, insecure if you would come or not… You have this power on me, Princess…"

"…As if those two would let me NOT come…Those two kidnapped and ambushed me. They work for the FBI.. don't they know that kidnapping is a federal offense?" Emily said jokingly, referring to Penelope and JJ.

"They were only trying to help me…"

"As if Derek Morgan would need help for something like that."

"You know, Emily… we men, can be so stupid. You know we can never read the signals correctly. We always need a tip from a woman. They helped me to see how stupidly I was behaving."

"I hope all this isn't their idea and what they want..."

"Of course not, Em. Hey… (He held her chin making her looking at him in the eyes and completed the sentence, saying…)….. I love you!... They just quickened the trigger in me... but here, everything in this house was all my idea."

This aroused her curiosity because in her immediate line of vision, she didn't notice anything different in the house. All she noticed was the delicious smell of food that was coming from the kitchen. But she decided to leave it for now.. A powerful woman never shows anxiety.

Opening a bottle of wine, he asked her:

"And… how are our little munchkins?"

Instantly hugging herself as if missing them, she said:

"They're good. My heart broke leaving them this evening."

Handing the glass of wine to her, he said:

"You didn't leave them completely, Em. They're being well taken care of by my mother and sisters.. I'm sure of it."

"I know, Derek. I didn't mean it like that. But, I'm their mother… I'm supposed to be with them all the time!"

"Yeah, I know that. That's why I made some changes to the house that I want you to see."

She smiled at him. He reached out his hand for her to take and she slipped her hand in his.

"Let's leave this wine here for now so I can show you."

Derek lived in a big house with lots of rooms, a private gym, and many other things. They were now upstairs, in front of a closed door, he said to her:

"Open it…"

She bit her lips, smiling at him. She opened the door and her mouth opened instantly, as her eyes were shining bright.

"Derek... You didn't?"

They entered the bedroom and Derek was genuinely happy and proud of himself when he saw how happy Emily was.

"This is so beautiful, Derek! Wow…"

She was walking around the room and touching all the furniture. She gave careful attention in every single detail that he had prepared. It was a bedroom for the babies, all the decor was white. It was a perfect bedroom for their two babies with everything they needed. Emily was so happy and thrilled that she was speechless. She hugged him, saying:

"Wow, Derek… I can't believe you did all this…"

Hugging her back, he said:

"I'd do anything for them, Em. This is just the start. They are my life, Em… They're the reason I come back home, they're the reason I breathe. I can say that I am a new person because of them."

Of course Derek wanted to tell her that she was included in the package but, he didn't want to ruin his other surprises he had saved for the end of the night. Emily, on the other hand, was mentally fighting against her insecure side. She was expecting to be included in the package but, he had said nothing about her, so she remained in silence. Derek said:

"Well… I think we should go back to the kitchen now or our dinner will be completely ruined. I still have the food in the oven."

* * *

In the kitchen:

"Wow, Derek this looks amazing."

"You like, Princess?"

Derek had a nice set-up waiting for them. A tidy table with candles on it, fancy plates, glasses and cutlery and satin napkins. Impeccable!

"You did this all by yourself?"

"Yes, I did it myself..."

He approached her and touched her face using the back of his fingers and whispered:

"All for you, princess…"

She looked at him and hell, he was her perdition! Her legs were weak and before she could seem to fall, he grabbed her by her waist and kissed her again.

Stepping away from the sweet kiss, Derek pulled out a chair for her to sit. Then, he left her for a brief moment to open the oven and took out the lasagna that he had prepared. He said to her as he was putting it on the table:

"I know you usually avoid carbs at night.. but, tonight you'll burn off every calorie you're gonna eat right now, maybe even more. That's a promise." He winked at her.

She was fighting herself not to show too much excitement, but she couldn't help but smile seductively.

They were having a wonderful time eating, drinking and talking. However, Derek was avoiding making plans for the future, so they were just talking about the babies and how cute they are. Emily was also constantly praising the delicious food he made.

"Oh, Derek… really… dinner was amazing. I can tell you that I've never eaten a lasagna so delicious before." She said, wiping her mouth with the napkin.

"I'm glad you liked it, Princess…"

He got up and went to open the fridge to get the dessert. He picked two small transparent bowls with strawberries and placed them on the table and got the tube of condensed milk to drizzle over. As he was doing this, Emily was smiling provocatively, he said:

"What?"

Men are so clueless she thought, and she smiled even more. So, he frowned at her, his face was a plastered with pure confusion. Seeing this scene, Derek squeezing the tube and the condensed milk falling on the strawberries, she was having spicy ideas that were running through her mind now. It was giving her ideas, which he could never even dream.

They were sat at the table still, only the candles illuminating the environment. They were enjoying the strawberries, lightly nibbling and licking the condensed milk around the strawberries while looking in each other eyes the whole time. They shared malicious grins and it was almost like they were making love through telepathy. Emily's mouth was now all besmeared with the condensed milk and without having a clear idea if it was on purpose or not, Derek got up while gently taking her hand, making her got up too, and hugging her tight by the waist saying:

"What kind of gentleman would I be if I didn't clean up this beautiful mess you have there, Princess. Only you can make what people think is an ugly mess so utterly beautiful and hot. Seeing that milk all over your mouth has to be the most sexiest thing I could ever see. You always make everything so sexy, beautiful and very hot. Whatever you do.. intentional or unintentional, like in this case, so let me do the Derek Morgan complete cleanup treatment for you now, princess…"

She was smiling a big smile and thinking: Son of a bitch knows how to win a woman!

Derek then began licking the condensed milk that was smeared around her mouth... it was a kind of delicious torture for her. Her breathing began to get hard and shivers of pleasure formed all over her body. The moment started to get more intense when she finally took the initiative to deepen the kiss, saying under her breath:

"I'm gonna get you back for this torture…"

After the kiss, he said:

"Hmm, really? Even after what I still have for you?"

"I have no idea what else you have in store, but yes, the answer is yes…"

"C'mon… let me show you something…"

He took her hand and lead her upstairs. In front of his bedroom, the door was ajar, he closed her eyes using both of his hands, at the same time he was guiding her inside the bedroom, until they were near the edge of his bed. There were candles lit in the room as well and a song was playing in the background. It was their song, from the first time they made love.. Justin Timberlake's Mirrors, she said:

"Derek… really?" Referring that she wanted to see.

"C'mon, Princess… almost there…"

When she was near the bed, he whispered to her ear:

"Alright, I'm going to remove my hands but you can't open your eyes yet… only when I tell you, okay?"

"Is this a test to see if I trust you, or what?"

"You know you can trust me, Princess…"

Derek then went to the other side of the bed, in a way that the bed was between them because he wanted to see her reaction. He said:

"You can open your eyes now…"

Emily saw his huge king size bed. It had a satin beige sheet. But, what caught her eye was what was over it... Derek had written: Marry Me? with red roses petals. Her legs were wobbly, but she was really thrilled. Speechless, she looked up to him with a big smile on her face. He was happy to see her reaction.. her smile, her eyes shining and he could swear he could hear her heart too: Yes, it was definitely a yes! But he needed to hear her say it. So, he took the small velvet box with the diamond ring in it and approached her and said:

"I am totally yours in heart and soul. I want you to be my wife forever and ever in happiness with our two precious babies. Will you, Emily Prentiss, take this fool, Derek Morgan, to try and wisen him up and be my wife and complete our family?"

He took the ring from the box and then took her hand in his. But, before he could put the ring on her finger, he asked her:

"Marry me, Emily Prentiss?"

"YES!" She had tears of happiness and emotion in her eyes.

He put the ring on her finger and she hugged him, saying:

"You are not a fool at all, Derek. You are the perfect man for me! You were the only one who really showed me what love was after all you did for me…and I love you… and I also want to spend the rest of my life with you…"

They kissed passionately and things were getting hot. In between their kisses, he asked:

"So, you still want to torture me?"

"Mmm, yes… that's the best part…" She answered between kisses too.

While kissing her, Derek was now expertly undoing the zipper on the back of her dress. Her dress was now a reduced mound on the floor, as she herself got rid of her sandals by lightly shaking her feet, one then the other. She was now only in her sexy black lingerie and he gave a good look at her body... as he was crazy about her body and said:

"God, Emily… With a body like yours, no one could ever tell you gave birth to two small Derek Morgan copies just less than three months ago."

He hugged her almost naked body, he wanted to feel her skin, and he whispered to her:

"Speaking of God, He must have threw away the mold when he was creating you, the ultimate Goddess."

He was planting kisses on the curve of her neck when he noticed that her skin was covered with goose bumps. Emily then started to unbutton his shirt, taking it off of his body. She was now enjoying touching his delicious muscles that she had missed a lot. Between kisses, she said:

"Derek, I missed these muscles enveloping me. Those mega thousand push ups you kept bragging to me about in past at the BAU really payed off I see… I knew the moment I first touched your muscles, I would never be able to stop…"

"Princess, even the strongest muscled man like me isn't strong enough to resist you. I would crumble, fall and succumb to you weakly with your perfect body, your soft skin…"

Still with their mouths and tongues connected, Emily opened his belt and the button of his pants. His pants now another mound on the floor beside her dress. The sexy couple was now only in their underwear, then she said:

"Hmmm….Too much talking, Derek. I'm sure you're going to love this all night long workout exercise program I have for you; and I promise you it will be the most delicious workout you'll ever have…"

Derek then made a move to try to carry her in his arms to put her on the bed, but she stopped him. Using her best sexy voice, she began to say:

"Nuh uh… you're going to be a very good boy and stay still here for me." As she pushed him gently making him lay on the bed, then she completed, raising an eyebrow to him:

"I forgot something downstairs…"

He was thinking: WTF?

Not more than five minutes later, Emily was back in the bedroom. Derek was lying in bed waiting for her, and, okay, he was playing with his own tool already, as he was dying to use it ASAP. She entered the bedroom and this didn't stop him from continuing to play with delicious member with his hand stuck inside his underwear. Emily then approached him with something in her hands. She put the thing on the bed and she positioned her body, one leg to each side of his body and gently sat on his strong thighs. She then said:

"Derek Morgan… that's so hot! That is totally turning me on right now, but how dare you play with that precious merchandise. I should be the only one to handle that rare and precious jewel because I am the owner of the Derek Morgan jewelry store…"

Derek knew Emily Prentiss: badass from the streets and chasing UNBUS... so he knew she had this wild side. But, in bed, she never showed anything more audacious, as it was always him taking the lead of the situation in the past. However, he wasn't complaining.. he wanted to see this other side of her in bed too. So, he patiently waited to see. She raised her eyebrow to him again and whispered to him while working to take off his underwear:

"It's pay back time…"

She slowly removed his underwear while smiling widely with seduction seeing his tool was more than ready. Derek on the other hand was fucking enjoying the pure horny excitement on her face while she looked at his tool. With her fucking sexiest voice, she was whispering to him, while she was caressing his tool:

"You know… Derek… I love strawberries…but… I think I prefer another dessert… one much more… delicious… soft… warm… sweet…which makes me much happier…"

They were looking at each other in the eyes while she was whispering slutty to him. Suddenly she grabbed the tube of condensed milk and poured a few drops on his tool, leaving Derek completely surprised and even hornier. He said:

"Wow, wow, Em… Princes… Stop with the teasing. Your sexy voice and the way you're looking at me is enough to make me explode right now and I don't think you want this to end quickly. Enough already, Em, do what you please with me. I know you've planned sweet revenge on me that will make me go insane. Give me the punishment you want... and if it's going to kill me, like it probably will, what a way to go!"

She smirked as she shifted her body further down to be able to lick his tool. First licking the liquid that she had dropped onto it, which was only a few drops, and then licking the entire length of his tool. But, Derek wanted to feel her whole mouth on him. He was already starting to get chills of pleasure throughout his body.. slowly losing control. He said:

"Oh FUCK! Emily… Please…"

She smiled while still licking him, she just stopped to say:

"Shhh… Shhh… be a good boy…"

Emily's tongue was just passing through the length of his tool, only provoking him more.

"Oh, Fuck! Emily!"

"Patience, my love…patience…"

Emily's mouth was open big over his member and her lips were fleshy, but not enough to accommodate his size. But, even so, she tried and in a slow but firm movement, she was sucking him like crazy now, transporting Derek to a colorful world.. to the stars and whole constellation. He grabbed her hair as if he wanted to guide her, but, she didn't allow it. She was a talented lady and she was not lacking in this department. She knew what she was doing and she knew how to do it well.

In a fitting and perfect rhythm between her fleshy lips and efficient tongue, his tool was definitely reacting. Derek was going crazy now, after Emily found the perfect rhythm. Derek was totally sold on the situation, he mumbled something like:

"Em… I think… I'm… Em… Princess… A…A…Are you sure?… I think I'm going…" He was losing all control and couldn't form a proper sentence.

Emily realized that Derek could come at any moment, so she slowed down her ministrations, which caused him to increase his own movements because he wanted more, of course. But, she stopped and went back to a sitting position. He said:

"Fuck, Princess… this is torture…"

He was trying to get up, but she stopped him with her hand on his chest, making him lay down again. Smiling seductively, her hands gently caressed his tool again, she said:

"I'm not finished yet…"

Looking straight into his eyes, she made a smart and quick move to get rid of her panties. Then in another fast movement she was starting to ride him. When she felt that Derek was all inside her, in the maximum of intimacy that a couple can share, he came to a sat position to hug her breasts that was still with the bra because they were temporally reserved only for the babies. But, that didn't stop Derek from showing them a little love as well. He was gently kissing the flesh of her boobs. She was riding him and hugging him while he was kissing her boobs and mouth. Their breathing increased and was getting sporadic.

Their bodies were completely intertwined now, legs, arms, hands, everything, in perfect harmony... like two halves that fit perfectly in a need to feel and give to each other. Emily was still riding him, making subtle movements, but Derek Morgan was the typical alpha male, of course he gave space for his lady to act on him, but the final act would have to be his. Like a fine gentleman, gently but firmly, without disconnecting their union, he made a movement where now she was under him. Before he started his movements, he was just looking at her, the vision of her pale skin on the satin sheets and the red rose petals was too much for him, he whispered to her:

"Woman… do you know I love you so much…"

"So… make love to me…" She pulled him down to her.

Derek then lay down over her and kissed her on her inviting lips. He also planted small kisses on her body, and saying between kisses:

"Okay…. Future…. Mrs. Emily Morgan…. I'm going to make love to you tonight…. and since I missed being with you… and not making love to you in ages…I will make love to you for the rest of the night as I can't exist without your body…"

He was speaking as he started to thrust slowly, building up his pace with each thrust, harder and harder each time. Emily was moaning his name right now and scratching his back when she went overboard. And Derek doing his best, especially for her, he wanted to give his best for her, showing her how much he loved her, that for him this was not just about sex, they were truly making love, showing how much they loved each other, becoming one... one soul, one heart, two lives in one. Derek made sure he was going to make her come, he had this kind of control, and he wanted to wait for her.

Not long after, both Emily and Derek came together at the very same time. It was like everything was in sync with them .. even their orgasms. Both of their releases was the sum of their love to symbolize the beautiful union and love making as their bodies, hearts and souls were one, spiritually and physically. When they were both having this very explosive orgasm at that precise moment, they both had spasms that were totally out of this world. The many months of not making love to each other made them experience more intense feelings.

After making love, they lay in bed. Derek snuggling her in his arms, kissing her on the head, caressing her hair, and saying:

"You know, when I think about us... I think we could be together for a long time…" Derek said.

"We are going to be together for a long time…" Emily responded.

"I mean… since the first time I touched your hand when I saw you…"

"Oh, Derek, no way…you could never conquer me with those cheap flirt tactics you always gave me…"

"Aw, Princes, that was because I was trying to deny my true feelings for you back then. I knew from the moment I saw you at the same time my hand touched yours that something had sparked in me and that would be forever…"

"Derek… Really?… I mean…you never said anything or tried to show me…"

"Because I was trying to deny it, Emily. I was trying to deny to myself that I had met love, a true love that could make me settle down and quit my player life style…that I used to be so proud of…"

Emily was just listening, very happy in his arms, and he kept talking:

"Then… when I thought that you were dead, oh my God, it was the biggest pain I felt in my whole life! It was a torturing pain, like a constantly open wound that never stopped hurting and an endless sadness and emptiness overcame me… It's so hard to describe how I felt with words."

"I'm so sorry for that, Derek. I should have let you know… I really regret that…"

"And then you came back from the "dead". I was just like: God, it's so good to have her back! I don't need anything anymore... I just want her by my side all the time… every day. Just having your presence at that time made me feel alive again."

"But, then you let me go."

"I knew you needed some time for yourself during that moment of your life. I so badly wanted to tell you to stay and not to go to London, but I saw in your eyes that even whatever I said, you wouldn;t change your mind. Plus, that rejection would have killed me and I admit I was too much of a coward to try to say something and get a 'no' in response. But I never, even in my worse nightmare, could even imagine that you would get married! Finding out that you got married to someone else was like a dagger to my heart…"

"Because all my hopes with you had come to an end. I know it's no excuse but, I was so tired of being alone Derek. When you let me go, I so badly wanted you to tell me to stay here. Then when you were in London for that visit because of your duty at the Olympics, we had that talk and I gave you all those hints of what I wanted with you. The sad thing was, you didn't pickup on that code I was telling you, that I wanted to settle down with you. So, I thought you didn't feel the same about me. This was what made me decide to settle down with someone I didn't love but cared about because I didn't want to be alone anymore. Most of my life, I had this deep emptiness in my heart and soul which stems from my parents always leaving me alone. I didn't see them for the majority of my life as they were always travelling without me. The helpers and servants raised me most of my childhood life, it was like they were my parents. Can you understand why I didn't want to be alone anymore, Derek?"

"Oh, Emily... C'mon! You never showed me anything. You always left me with a blank space!"

"To see until where you could go for me…"

"Yeah…. I know… I was a total idiot!"

Emily raised her head to be able to look at him now and said:

"No, you're not Derek. I know everything you did for me.. and I know you did it out of love."

"All my flirting with you.. I know you didn't take it seriously because you thought I just wanted to add you to my bed post list. But, you were much deeper than that Emily, as you were the total package to my heart.. love, desire, pleasure, to raise a family with and love each other until we are both old and gray. Although, you'll never age and be old and gray… You'll look gorgeous and young for eternity just like my love for you…"

After that confession, another round of hot kisses, hugs and "I love you's" took them, until they fell asleep.

* * *

Next very early morning, even before sunrise, Emily was kissing Derek trying to wake him up as he was still sleeping soundly and snoring a bit, he must be very tired because he had used a lot of energy in their very passionate love making. Emily was kissing him but he kept on sleeping that she said:

"Come on, Sleeping Beauty, you are not going to sleep the morning and whole day away are you?"

Derek woke finally, yawn and said:

"How dare you call me Sleeping Beauty, Princess, it is you who is that since that character is a beautiful princess like you…"

Emily smiled and said:

"Derek, I miss my babies so much, I want to go over there now to see them…"

Derek smirked.

"…But, Em, I wanted to enjoy more Princess style breakfast here munching on your ears and everywhere else like last night… I can never get enough of you..."

"Derek, you know I rather have my Morgan breakfast too, but we had plenty of that last night and we can do that all the time now and later I promise but right now I need to see my babies and share the good news to them that I am marrying their daddy and we are going to be perfect happy family…"

Derek laughed and said:

"But, Princess, they are babies, they will not understand a word…"

Emily slapped him playfully and said:

"Stop it, Derek, you know what I mean, I know they will not understand a word but they can feel it in their hearts what is going on, and I am sure they both miss us their parents too…"

"Okay, okay, let me at least make coffee for us first…"

"No, Derek, your mother will have coffee and breakfast over there for us, I bet, now get off your ass and get ready so we can go now…"

"So, that is how it is going to be after we are married, bossing me around like the Boss you are at work and trying to do the same at home. I will not have any of this.…" He said laughing and smiling.

"You better listen to me, Derek, or else I will spank you…" She said seductively and teasingly;

"Then, I will be a bad boy and misbehave all the time I would enjoy that spanking…"

Emily, then, hit him gently on the ass and says:

"There is your preview more of that later, let's go because I need to see my babies now…"

They were already up, getting dressed but Derek hold her by her waist tight and said:

"Thank you for making me the happiest man in the world...I love you..."

"I love you too, Derek Morgan…"

He gave her a very hot, warm and passionate kiss.

* * *

At Emily's apartment, Fran Morgan was in the kitchen. She was preparing breakfast for her and her daughters, while Desiree and Sarah were taking care of Brian and Hannah. They were getting them ready for the day with baths, changing their diapers and getting them dressed for the day. However, the babies were crying non-stop when they were downstairs. Desiree said:

"These babies sure take after our brother… he was always crying…"

"You can't blame your brother for crying as a baby… you two always ganged up on him stealing his toys. Even today, you two always gang up on him, always teasing him about him burning that cake for my birthday. These babies just really miss their mommy because a baby has that special bond with their mother. A bond in the womb, that even when they're out in this world, they need their mother all the time. They can feel our love and they love us too but, it's not the same for them at this age, they need their mommy. You girls were like that too at their age, so Hannah and Brian are no exceptions to this rule. The babies love their grandmother and aunts so much, they feel loved and secure with us. But, after a while, if their mother isn't there, they can feel an empty void and need their mother even though they are fed, happy and comfortable. I'm a mother and I know this… and you two will know it too one day…"

"Well, after this experience with these two bombs here… I don't know if I'm ready for this…" Sarah said.

"Sarah, they are not bombs... they're adorable! Even now looking at them crying their eyes out, they are still cuties." Desiree said,

"I know, I was just joking."

A few minutes later, Emily and Derek entered the apartment. They could hear the babies crying from outside the door.

"Emily, your mother's intuition is amazing. You must be psychic because I'm sure you heard your precious babies crying out for you as they need their mama right now." Fran said.

"Oh God…Mommy is here now…Mommy is here… shhh… shhh…" Emily said, taking Hanna in her arms.

"How about me? I'm sure they cried for their sugar Daddy too."

"Bad joke, Derek. You're not sweet at all, you've always been a brat and sour. Nope, they didn't miss you at all, just Emily…" Desiree said.

"Girls, what did I say about always ganging up on your brother and picking on him…"

"Yes, Mama.. please scold them and help me out. They are embarrassing me in front of my babies." Derek said, jokingly.

"Thank God you two are home. I was going deaf…" Sarah said.

"Was it that bad?" Emily asked.

"No, they just started crying now. They also rejected their bottles…" Fran said.

"Hey, baby boy! Look at you, if it's not the Derek Morgan blood in these veins… learning since now how to fight for what you want…" Derek said, as he was raising Brian.

"Yeah... yeah…and I know exactly what they want…" Emily said, making her path to the bedroom, to have her moment with the babies.

"Can you help me?" She asked Derek.

"Well, I have no idea how to help you since I can't provide them with what you have… but…"

Emily rolled her eyes at Derek.

"Aww, Derek… you are a pig. What Emily was trying to say is that she needs your strong muscles to help carry one of the babies. She can't hold them both at same time while feeding them. I'm sure you knew what she meant, you smart ass…"

"Sarah, don't say that word in front of the babies! Shame on you!" Fran said, smiling.

"Mama, ass is not a bad word. These babies have big ones like our brother! They poop big like him too…"

"I'm going to get you big time for saying that, Sis. You will get it, I promise you that!" Derek said, giving that Derek Morgan evil grin.

"Wow, Derek. I'm so proud of you son! That ring is absolutely breathtaking. It's so beautiful and special.. but, not as special, beautiful and breathtaking as Emily however, very close. Congratulations to the both of you!"

"Yeah… I was so apprehensive yesterday. But now… we're going to get married!"

"I always thought you had bad taste in all your choices… But, you did really good, Bro! That has to be the best choice for your happiness. I know we always tease you but, it's always in good fun. We love you and think you're the best brother in the world. We love you, Emily, Brian and Hannah so much that the love is so suffocating…" Sarah said.

"Ah! I know you all do!" Derek said, boasting himself.

They all laughed and Emily was so happy because her children would be part of such a wonderful and lovely family.

* * *

In Emily's bedroom, she was sat on her bed, breastfeeding Hannah and Derek was sat next to her, distracting Brian so the boy could wait for his turn, and Derek said to him:

"See, Brian, how beautiful is your Mommy… see if we could see anything that could be more perfect than this… the most beautiful scene we have here…"

He was talking and Emily was smiling sweetly at him. Derek moved closer to her, on the bed, and touched his nose to hers, then kissed her lips and said:

"I love you…"

"Love you too…" She said.

* * *

**There you have it folks, from romantic marriage proposal, to totally hot Demily loving spice to celebrate their engagement to the ending of the chapter with the four of them with this perfect complete loving Morgan family. Will this happiness continue to last? …and will their wedding plans and everything else go without a hitch and no problems? Please let me know what you think and please continue to give me your wonderful ideas, suggestions and comments. This story is about to end, so let me know if you want to read something here, okay… Thank you very much to you all again, love you all!**


	20. Chapter 20

**I own nothing.**

* * *

The last two weeks were all about with the permanent move to Derek's place which now all belong to the Morgan family which consisted of Derek, Emily and the babies. Finally Derek was home for the whole weekend and at Sunday, in the afternoon after they both worked so hard, Derek and Emily had the entire house cleaned and tidy up with the move and they brought everything from Emily's apartment. The babies were now sleeping peacefully so they were just relaxing after two weeks of intense rushing and working.

"Aw, Derek ...I'm so exhausted...I cannot believe that everything is now in its place...and we can finally relax in each other's arms...wow..."

"I know Princess, and it's so good to feel you, so close, that now I wont never you let you go from my arms…"

Derek hugged her tight, under the blanket. They were about to start watching a movie on TV. Not before for the hot kissing session started.

But when they were thinking that no one could ever steal this momentary peace, the bell started to ring non stop, totally breaking the kiss, the peace and everything. With the same spirit of an ox going to the slaughter, Derek went to open the door and see who was the desperate person, at that time of a Sunday. It was two people, and as soon as Derek unlocked the door, they were invading the space.

"I know, I know, it's Sunday, and you probably be resting, etc, but I cannot wait one second more…" Penelope said, she had a stack of magazines in hands.

Garcia and JJ made their path to TV's room, where Emily was waiting for Derek and only Derek. Garcia and JJ invaded the TV room and Emily sat quickly in this position, JJ was really embarrassed and said:

"Sorry, Em, I could not stop her… I think no one could…"

Emily was speechless and Derek had reached the TV room now too, but he was leaning to the doorframe.

"Emily, Derek I have a perfect plan for your wedding!" Garcia said, as if it was the best thing in the world ever.

"Derek, I feel a headache coming now…" Emily said, jokingly.

"Oh, no, my sweetness, no headaches, or excuses, in fact that is why I am here: to prevent you two from getting headaches from planning your own wedding. Leave everything to me. Trust me: your wedding is going to be so huge all the reporters will want to put your wedding live on TV for everyone to see…"

Emily opened her mouth. Derek laughed.

"She ambushed me coming to my house forcing me to come over now, you know Pen, when she has an idea, no one can stop her, even the most baddest unsub...JJ says she insisted I come over here with her now so we can get together and plan your wedding at this very minute…"

"Derek, this is your Baby Girl, can't you talk to her and keep her under control…"

"Oh no, Princess, this is all yours, why don't I look after our precious babies here, and you take the girls to a coffee shop or where ever to plan this wedding or plan it here if you like I will have to keep the babies safe from all of you if you three plan to stay here because I know you might be throwing things at Pen and can be dangerous for our babies…." Derek said, jokingly.

Emily punched him in the arms and said:

"You are no help, thanks a lot for nothing, my soon to be ex fiancee and I emphasize the ex because I do not want her to plan our wedding…." Emily said, jokingly, laughing.

"Hey, Hey, none of this negativity, Em, I will not have you spoil this special day for me with your insults!" Penelope said, smiling big.

"Pen, you said this special day, well this special day is for Emily and Derek, not for you…" JJ said, like an angel.

"JJ, not you too my Angel, turning devilish on me making fun of me too, come on girls we should leave our Chocolate God Father with his babies so we can go to stores and shopping mall to see what we can buy for this huge wedding I want this wedding to be so huge that even the Queen of England would be jealous…"

Emily heard all this and she was cringing in pain and she said:

"Oh, no, Pen, nothing that huge please, JJ and Derek I can use some help and backup here now please…

JJ and Derek were laughing and Derek then said:

"Princess, anything you want for the wedding I will love and support but for my Baby Girl she is yours and JJ to handle, leave me out of this…."

"Why me? She just ambushed and kidnapped me here, I should not be held accountable for her Derek! I even asked Will to help me, and he just said: go have fun, you know you want to deep down, I will gladly take care of Henry….. some alone men time for us… Emily, our men are not any help or useful to us... Will told me to go with this crazy woman and Derek saying the same to you… Both of our men also say they will take care of our babies while we are with this insane woman…"

"Who are you calling insane and crazy, takes one to know one…"

"Yes, I am crazy Pen, JJ said, making you drag me here…"

"Emily, I think my mother and sister may have ideas for this wedding too and how about your mother Emily?"

"Oh, no, Derek bad enough Pen is bossing me around here my mother would want to turn our wedding into a political party… I am starting to regret saying yes to this…"

"Ouch, Princess… you wounded me now…"

"You know I love you and want to marry you, but this is all too much for me to handle, right now… I love Pen to death too, but she can be too much to handle you know that…"

"Yes, I know what you mean, I love my Baby Girl, but she can be very exhausting and exasperating…"

"So, Derek, why don't we just elope like right now…"

"If we do elope and not invite Pen to our wedding, we will get lifetime viruses in both of our computers all our life…"

"Here I have lots of magazines and lots of different dresses and make-ups and hair style, so you can choose, and I also have a form that we can fill with everything that you want in your wedding ceremony..."

"Pen, really… I just want a small ceremony… just my family and Derek's and BAU family… I swear to God that is all that I want…"

"Small? When does anything you and Derek ever do is small? You always do everything special as you two are the most special people in the world. This wedding has to be huge and special fit for a princess. Why you think my Chocolate Thunder always calls you Princess?"

"Pen, Emily should have her wedding the way she wants. When you want to plan for a big wedding, it will be yours, then you can plan huge wedding, the biggest on this planet ever…"

"Okay Pen, I really appreciate all of this...but I feel like I am already married to Derek... I really feel that way… we only want to legalize this… because of the kids because we both already feel very committed to each other… so, let's make a deal… a medium one… not too small and too big of a ceremony...how does this sound for you? Do you think you can still help me with this?"

Pen was very happy now, and she screamed in joy and hugged Emily tightly and said:

"Of course I will help you! Medium sound very perfect!"

* * *

The twins were five months old now and it was about two weeks away for the wedding ceremony of Emily and Derek. The ceremony would be in a big room that Derek had rented, suitable for weddings. Everything was ready since JJ and Penelope were helping Emily with everything, mostly Penelope since from her desk job she have more opportunity to make the calls and get everything ready to help Emily and Derek. Emily still had to make some improvements to her wedding dress, but she had chosen one that was not too complicated. The dress was of mermaid style. Anyways, everything was almost done as this wedding was happening in two weeks..

It was a Tuesday, and Derek was out working on a case for three days now, but every morning, as soon as he opened his eyes, he called Emily to check on her and the babies. Emily was on her bed, and the twins were there with her, she has just feeding them and changed their diapers, so they were calm.

"Morning, Princess…"

"Morning, babe…"

"How are the kids?"

"Brian seems a little sick today, a light fever, but I already called his doctor and he say it's normal because of first teeth!... Hannah is okay… we miss you! How is the case going?"

"Oh, it's a complicated one...the son of a bitch just killed an entire school bus!"

"A school bus? Oh my God…"

"Yeah… lots of children…"

"Oh, Derek, so sorry…"

"We are going to catch him!"

"Yes, I know...I'm sure of this...Take care of yourself, Derek, please... Remember that we all need you..."

"I know… I'm dying to come home…"

"I know you are! Soon, you will and we will be here just waiting for you…"

"I know, Princess… I'm coming back home as soon as I can, I love you…"

"I love you too, Derek…"

"Okay, Emily, tell the babies Daddy loves them…"

"Okay, I will… I always do…"

Emily looked at her babies, both smiling at her and her eyes filled with tears, so happy she was feeling now. They were the perfect copies of Derek, they did not look like her not even a little, but she did not care a penny for that, because she was just so happy and feeling complete now, with her two babies, and going to get married with the man she loved.

As it was a sunny day, she went downstairs with both babies and put them in the Double stroller, perfect for twins, and she went for a walk with them to the nearest park in the morning sun as she always did.

Once at the park, she sat on a bench and she was just there playing with the babies all the time, and a woman sat near her while she was observing her six years old son playing in the playground. She said to Emily:

"Oh, twins? So cute…"

"Yes, they are!" Emily said it back, smiling big, proud of her babies.

"I have only one child… he is over there…his name is Paul…" The woman pointed to the playground.

"He is super cute too…" Emily said, and the woman kept talking:

"What the name of yours?"

"Brian and Hannah…"

"Ohh, how cute… I want to try for a girl now...Let's see if I'm lucky this time...And yours are twins, a boy and a girl! You are lucky because this is really difficult to find...…" The woman said.

Emily got a little confused when she said "to find", but she remained quiet, since she was paying attention in her babies now, looking at them all the time, in the stroller, smiling at them. But the woman kept talking:

"…It's really nice of you to have adopted them…"

Emily was surprised to hear the word "adopted". She stopped, and turned to look at the woman:

"Adopt them?"

"Yeah… I mean… so nice of you… being different from them… to adopt them…"

"Look, lady, I thought racism went out the door and is outdated, just like the VCR's and record players. You need to get your facts straight before you start speaking out. I'm not against the adoption, and I do not need to tell you this, but my babies are NOT adopted. I am proud to give birth to these two beautiful babies and I am only telling you this truth because I am proud of my babies and their father. This is the only reason why I am telling you the facts because I am so very proud of them and not because you deserve to know…"

With a big lump forming in her throat, Emily quickly got up and began to push the huge stroller and made her way back to the house in a mixture of sadness and anger combined.

The babies were just looking at their Mom's face. They were really smart and they knew something was not good. Babies are too sensible and they can feel everything the Mom is feeling. Emily did not want to leave the park that way, but she could not let the woman see her crying. Before the babies could start to cry, Emily started to talk to them:

"Hey, who are the two most precious babies in the whole world? My two lovely babies… Mommy loves you two so much that I cannot fit in myself anymore… Mommy loves you two so very much… you never forget that, okay…"

She spent all the path talking to them.

* * *

The team only came back home after two days more, so it was Thursday late night when Derek was finally home, after five days out. Emily was in the TV room, watching some shit on TV, the baby monitor on, right next to her, because the babies were already in their bedroom, sleeping peacefully. Derek had already called her letting her know that he was coming back home on that night. As it was about midnight already, she fell asleep there on the sofa.

Derek opened the door and went to the TV room, he knew Emily always waited for him there. He woke her with a kiss.

"Wow, my powers never fail me. I see that I woke up Sleeping Beauty with my magical kiss just like in the fairy tale story..."

"Awww, Derek! You scared me!"

"What?! I told you I was coming… What's wrong, Princess…"

"…If only life was a fairy tale and we all live happily ever after just like in that story…." She said, sadly.

OF COURSE, Derek heard the sad tone in her voice.

"What is wrong, Emily?" He was a little more serious now.

"Nothing…"

Derek raised his two eyebrows: "Nothing? On me, Em? The two past days you've been acting totally different and cold on the phone…"

She then sat in position and looked at him: she could not hide anything from him anymore. But yet she remained quiet. So Derek said:

"You cannot fool me, Emily, I am still good at profiling but I do not need my profiler skills to know something is wrong…"

"It's nothing, Derek!" She got up now and she was passing by him, because she had tears already forming and she did not want him to see it. But Derek quickly, gently held her by the arm:

"Are you not getting cold feet are you? You do not want to marry me after all? What is troubling you and do not tell me you are fine when you are not…Are you upset and getting cold feet about being my wife?"

"Of course not Derek! I always wanted to marry you ever since I met you!"

"What is it, then? …Something with the babies? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… nothing wrong with them…"

"So, tell me…" He said, softly, caressing her face. So, she finally said:

"Derek, I did not really wanted to tell not because I want to keep anything from you but this is so disturbing to me that I have to tell but it is hitting on a very touchy subject that I know that you have been hit with this all of your life and that is racism and prejudices because of your color of your skin. Today, when I was at the park with our babies, this ignorant woman said it must be hard to get twins to adopt saying that our babies were adopted because she thought they were adopted since their color skins were so different from mine… That really hurt me so much deeply because it was like she mocking you and our babies that I had to tell her the facts not because she deserve to know but because I am so proud of you and proud of them ,being their mother. What is going to happen when they go to school they will get more hurtful comments and teasing from their class mates and this was a grown adult who is usually not as lenient with the comments and racism… My heart is breaking for our babies, Derek, and I am so sorry you had to go through all this too all your life…"

Too much information for Derek right now, He just put her into a warm and tight hug, while caressing her on the backs. And she kept venting:

"Derek, I do not want this for our children. What happens when they go to school and the kids in their school tease them about this? It will hurt them deeply and make them hate school. This is breaking my heart thinking about this already. I know it is a long way before they go to school but it is not far off than you think as we all know that time flies..."

"Emily, I know exactly what you are talking about… and look who I became… look how strong I am now… and I'm not talking only physically…"

Emily loosened the hug a little just to be able to look at him, and said:

"But it was a long and painful road for you… I don't want my babies to suffer…"

"We cannot avoid our babies from experiencing all things in life...the only thing we can do is to prepare them with our best, do our best so they grow up with faith, hope, love, to be strong and confident, teach them and prepare them for the future, Em… it's all we can do…Loving them with all our hearts, and it is from our love that they will become strong to face everything that they have to face in life…"

Derek were talking and caressing her backs, while hugging her:

"I always had all the support from my Mama and sisters. Our babies will get the same love and support from us like how I did all my life… Jus relax, Emily…. And don't give to much value to what this woman said, okay…"

Emily was a little calmer now. Derek had this power to calm her, and make her feel better.

"I love you…" She said to him.

"Love you too, Princess… Now, I want to see my babies! I'm dying to see them…. Miss them a lot!"

"Please be careful not to wake them up!"

* * *

Finally, it was the day of the wedding. Emily and Derek were still in bed since the last time that they had fed the babies, it was around 5 am, and the twins had went back to sleep so she was enjoying Derek's company in bed for a little more longer time.

It was about 8 AM, when both, Derek and Emily were woken by some desperate people on the front door, ringing the bell. Still with her face buried in Derek's muscular chest, Emily said:

"Oh, God, say I'm still sleeping and this is not happening…"

"It's the big day, Princess… Our big day…"

"Yeah… you said it right! OUR big day… so we could just do what we wanted to do! The way we wanted to do… I have a strong feeling whom that it is, maybe if we do not answer the door, they will go away"

"Knowing my Baby Girl, she will kick down the door because I taught her that…"

Both of them got up from the bed.

"Derek you go downstairs to open the door before they wake up the babies...I'm going to change clothes..."

Derek went downstairs while Emily changed her clothes, and brushed her teeth, etc. About then minutes later, she went downstairs and from the top of the ladder, she could see Penelope, JJ and a young lady that looked familiar to her but she could not remember who she was.

"Oh there is my doll! Emily you are so lucky because you like crap right now...lucky you that you have me to get you totally transformed for your big day! I'll turn you inside out!" Penelope yelled as soon as she saw Emily coming down the stairs.

"Oh, Pen, this is too early. I need more sleep. You cannot turn me inside now because I am not awake yet. Can you come back tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? You have lost it already…no worries, leave it to me, let your Fairy God Mother take care of you with my magical Fairy God Mother hands…"

"Don't look at me, I totally gave up…. I'm just a supporting figure here…I cannot control her, Emily, I am so sorry she even forced me to bring Henry's nanny to take care of the twins while us three of us get ready... and go to God knows where Pen plan for us. I did not want to know as I dare not ask…." JJ said.

Emily went crazy hearing this. She approached even more closer towards them and said:

"Wait, wait, wait… Did you say nanny? I don't need a nanny, this must be some confusion here..."

"No, doll, there is no confusion… the only one is confused here is you… so let me explain to you again: today is your wedding day, and as I know this is going to be your only wedding… because you were so lucky to hook my Chocolate God heart… unless you are planning to have another one… we have to make sure this day will be super, mega, ultra, utter perfect and unforgettable for both of you and all your guests…"

"I know is my wedding day… but I'm still a mother!"

"And you will continue to be a mother forever…"

"Pen, really… I wish you told me about this ahead of time, I trust JJ implicitly and she took good care of Henry but my babies do not know her, they will cry their eyes out. I cannot leave them today with her. I do not think this will work out but I do appreciate you two so much in helping me with the very huge day for me…"

"I know, Emily, how you feel. Henry was about the same age as the twins when I first met this nanny and it was tough for Henry to get used to her alone with her but she is very loving with lots of experience. She knows how to handle all babies and the twins will be fine with her just like Henry was with her all the time…"

"Oh, it is not you… it is because they've never been apart of me…really … they don't know anyone except the people they always see, I cannot do this… I will get ready here at home… we can do this here… I can make my own make up and hair…"

Emily said to the young lady and to them, and finally sat on the sofa as if no one could ever take her from there. Derek, who was only observing so far, then, sat next to her on the sofa and said:

"Princess, this is your special royal day. It is just one day and you should not have to worry about our babies on this very special day. You deserve to get the total princess and queen royal treatment just being pampered. You know I would take care of our babies for you to have this time with Pen and JJ to get ready but I have to get ready myself to be presentable with you on the altar because you are so very beautiful and gorgeous I need a lot of work to look almost as good as you but that is impossible that is why I need a lot of time with the boys to help me great ready. Emily our babies will be just fine, Henry's nanny will do just fine as you heard stories how much Henry loves her and look how Henry turned out to be so sweet and loving. Please, Em, do this for yourself and please do this for me too because I want you to have fun today without any worries in the world…"

JJ also sat on the sofa, on the other side of Emily, to talk to her too:

"Emily the salon is right here...not even half an hour drive from here...if she needs anything, she can call us... and we will come back in a rush to pick them up and check up on them...it is not like you will have to go to China..."

At this point, Penelope herself was feeling uneasy and questioning herself mentally if she had gone too far with her craziness. But not for too much time because soon, Emily noticed that Penelope was getting a little embarrassed so she got up from the sofa and took both hands of Penelope and said:

"Thank you for always making me happy and color my life... I know this is a precious time that you took from you to dedicate to us… so thank you sooooo much and let's go fast before I can regret this…And by the way, JJ, to respond to your last statement, about it is not like I will be going to China but why does it feel that with Pen we will be taking a rocket ride to the moon or Mars because it always a total trip with her…I know it will always be an adventure for sure, JJ, if I come out of the salon with green, purple or pink hair I will hold you both responsible…"

"With Pen in charge anything is possible Emily…"JJ said, jokingly.

"You two have a little faith, please, trust me, all the royal family will be jealous of you Emily my beauty after you are done today…"

After a long time, explaining all the instructions for the nanny, Emily kissed the babies, she approached Derek to give him a hug and a private temporary good-bye. He said:

"Relax, have fun, Emily… today is a very special day for both of us, and the first thing that came to my memory is the very first time I put my eyes on you and shook your hand, crossing the BAU table, when my eyes met yours… you totally won me there… and now… today… you are going to be mine…"

"I'm already yours…" She whispered to him.

"I know… but including in the paper!"

"Which means you are going to own me?!"

"Yes, exactly that…"

"Hmm, (she smiled sexy)… I like that…"

From the door, Penelope yelled:

"Oh, God, you two… as far as I know the honeymoon is after the wedding… etc… you will have all the time of the world to talk and do spiciness, so C'mon, Snow white…"

Emily went with JJ and Penelope to the salon. The three women would get ready for the wedding there at the salon. Penelope had prepared a big day for them, especially for Emily. Penelope had made an appointment for a manicure and a pedicure, and stress-relieving massage, and a lot of others pampers for the three of them. She and JJ and Emily, the weeks before had hired a wedding company to take care of everything so nothing could go wrong with the special day. They were getting lots of pampering now, and they were talking all the time which helped Emily to feel a little more confident and relaxed. After the massage, the manicure and pedicure, the three would be fixing their hair and do a professional makeup. A special lunch had been provided for them too, as it was past one PM. Emily calling the nanny each hour, to check on the babies.

* * *

Around 5:30 PM, the three women were almost ready. The team of the salon was working on the last details of the make-up and hair of the bride. She was already on her wedding dress. Penelope and JJ were ready already.

"Emily… you look so beautiful!" JJ said, totally thrilled.

"I know… thank you…I never imagined myself in this situation… I never imagined myself getting married…. I never imagined myself getting married with the man of my life…"

"You deserve all of this, Em… trust me… everyone in the world deserve this chance… I mean… I know you two already live together and already have babies… but trust me… it will be different from now on, and I'm talking by experience as you know I've been in the same situation as you… and when me and Will got married, it was like we really belonged to each other, it was good before too, but it was like our love was like butterflies and from the day we really got married, totally committed to each other, our love became strong as a stone… it rhymes…" JJ said, smiling, tears in eyes. Penelope came to prevent them from crying:

"Hey, hey, hey…. Nah, nah, nah, nah… no crying, no smudge makeup, you two! Wowwww, Emily! You look like a perfect Princess! Oh my God…" Penelope also had tears in eyes, and both Emily and JJ could not help, and said:

"Nah, nah, nah, nah, No crying Penelope you should follow your own rules now...…"

The three women gave a triple hug.

* * *

The wedding it would be at 6 PM, and exactly that hour they were leaving the salon. It had a limousine parked in front of the salon.

"Pen, you didn't! Really? A limo!? You shouldn't!"

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I should! A wedding with all the good you deserve, Em. And I swear to God your mother has nothing to do with it!"

* * *

At the big room that Derek had rented to the ceremony, everything was impeccably perfect! It was a pretty and elegant big room, for a very traditional wedding reception. The towering guest table centerpieces were designed with purple hydrangea, roses, lilianthus, larkspur and stocks. Long strands of crystals hang from each centerpiece for added visual effect. Each guest table was adorned with full length ivory table cloths and chocolate brown embroidered overlays. Gold chiavari chairs complete the timeless, classic look. Fran and Derek's sister had stolen the twins from the nanny, they were taking care of the babies all the time. It had about 150 guests, all BAU family, Emily's parents and some good friends of both of them, and some relatives of Derek had also came from Chicago. Derek was very handsome in a tuxedo gray, flawless. He was a little impatient because Emily was almost half an hour late for the ceremony. Fran went to talk to him to try to calm him:

"Look if my son could still look even better than he already is!"

"Oh, Mom, you do not count…I know I'm your favorite little boy, always…"

"Oh, Derek, my boy, my little boy, I'm so proud of you, son, look at the beautiful family you made…I'm so happy that you finally settle down and with a strong woman like Emily, a great mother she is, I mean… I only see happiness for your future with your family, and I know that every single stumbling block that you two will be able to deal with and get this bond even more stronger than ever."

"Thank you, Mom… Emily is really everything to me now… along with my babies… and of course you and my sisters… life is perfect to me now…"

"Derek, and I know your father must be very proud of you too, taking care of me and your sisters, being the strong man of the family all the time for us. You doing your job like his making the streets safer by putting away bad people and bringing justice to the victim's family and always helping those in need, saving countless lives…"

The room was really big, and it was perfect, impeccable decor, round tables on both sides of the hall, many flowers, and decorative lanterns, and there was a flowered path for the bridesmaids and Emily to cross, to the small altar where Derek, and the man who would celebrate the wedding were waiting.

Emily had opted to have only Penelope and JJ as her bridesmaid. Minutes before the door opened for Emily to enter the place, JJ and Penelope gave her a last hug:

"Thank you so much, I want to say that I love you two so much, and I know I'm going to stay at BAU for long time still, just like you both, but no matter how different our path can go in the future, you two will always be here inside my heart, as the sisters that I've never had."

They were very emotional now, and they were ready to enter. So the door was opened and the wedding song was playing, for Penelope, and then JJ make their path. Then, Emily was slowly walking to the altar, in a beautiful wedding dress, focus now only on Derek, and he could not take his eyes off of her.

Every step that Emily walked toward the altar, and to the love of her life, Derek, was a step farther past where she believed she could no longer feel that such bliss, where she thought she had no right to be happy, duo to handful of bad choices, or actions of which she was not even a bit proud of, like abortion and other things. The instability of those feelings, the pain in her soul, the deaths with which she lived daily basis at work, were always an excuse and obstacles to happiness, making compromise its ephemeral stability causing frustration. All that was left behind, every step she was taking to Derek. Even unrequited love, and even a man who truly loved her, she had to leave him and send him to jail, because he was one of the worst criminals in the world! What a fate! She did not think that it was possible even a fair share of happiness, not even when she tried to live a love calmer beside a man possibly had loved her too, Clyde, but she did not love him, and once again the frustration, guilt and remorse took care of her. And now, more and more close to complete happiness, she had no fear, she no longer carried on her backs, all this guilt and remorse! No more momentary happiness made only by small joys. Her dream of happiness was to marry her beloved and have her own family. She was accomplishing her dream and she was now feeling like the most happiest woman in the entire world.

Derek seeing Emily there walking up to him, he felt as if his heart would explode in happiness, it was like it had only the two of them in the room.

That smile of hers was so angelic to him and he still could see the sexy woman that he felt totally in love many years ago. Their eyes were totally connected now that Emily could feel herself totally naked, not only because Derek was looking straight to her body, but she knew he was the only one on the planet that could see her inside out, that could touch her soul, and totally understand her, he was the only one that could perfectly "read" her, make her feel totally safe. Yes, she had a man! And for him, he was feeling like the happiest and luckiest man in the whole universe.

And, as might be expected, to the sound of "Mirrors", perfectly played by orchestra that Derek had hired for the occasion, and the sound of the violin standing out, Emily finally arrived near the altar. Derek took about three steps to get her, he reached for her and pulled her close to him, gently, saying in her ear:

"Princess, you look absolutely stunning not enough words in the entire universe to describe how very gorgeous and stunning you always look but seeing the love and glow in your eyes now it is totally indescribable. Take my hand and we will be joined in eternal happiness now with our babies forever as one happy family forever…"

It gave tears of happiness to her eyes, and it was a big response for him, he could see how happy she really was.

And with the beautiful words of a pastor to celebrate the wedding, Derek and Emily heard the beautiful words he was saying about love, life, happiness, etc, but the main thing for them was what they were reading within each other's eyes as they held their hands. The pastor was saying:

"We are gathered together on this beautiful afternoon to share with Emily and Derek as they exchange vows of their everlasting love… As Emily and Derek take their vows today, we are privileged to witness the joyous love of a new family. May their marriage bring them the peace, joy, comfort and contentment that is known in the hearts of all God's children. An essential requirement of a good marriage is a strong bond of real friendship and trust. Emily and Derek, your love for each other will grow deeper with every passing day, but it's important to remember that your love stands on a foundation of genuine, mutual affection and respect for each other. To truly LOVE another person is to be willing to accept both their strong points, and their weak points, with equal measures of understanding and respect… The vows you are about to exchange, will serve as a verbal representation of the non-verbal emotions that are as real as any thing that can be seen, heard or touched… For it is not the words that you will speak today that will bond you together as one, but the strength of the love and commitment found deep within your souls…"

"Derek, will you take Emily to be your wife, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish her friendship and love her today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor her, laugh with her and cry with her? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?"

Derek (looking at her eyes): "I will…"

Emily, will you take Derek to be your husband, your partner in life and your one true love? Will you cherish his friendship and love him today, tomorrow and forever? Will you trust and honor him, laugh with him and cry with him? Will you be faithful through good times and bad, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?

Emily (looking at his eyes): "I will…"

Derek put the ring on her finger. Emily put the ring on his finger. Derek kissed her lips, whispering into the kiss:

"I love you…"

They signed the book, then they started to greet all the guests, one by one, and took zillions pictures, with them, with the twins, only the two of them, etc. They would have a dinner reception at the place too, and the dance.

After having greeted all guests, and after the dinner were served, etc, the big part of the guests were dancing, including Derek and Emily, but the time now was for the fast dance, some rock song, so Emily went to invite a really special little man to dance, and Derek a really special baby girl, who was in her small cute Princess white dress. They were holding the babies in their arms swinging back and forth dancing. Hannah on Derek's arms, laughing cute, while Derek was shaking her with the dance, and she saying something like "dah dah dah dah", wanting to meaning "Dad", as if she wanted to sing too; and Brian also having lots of fun in the arms of his mother.

At a certain moment, Fran approached Derek and said:

"Derek, not too fast…"

"Mama, even their mama is not worried… grandmama should not be either…"

During the dance, they approached the table where the cake and the typical wedding sweets were, and both Hannah and Brian wanting badly to touch the wedding cake. Both Derek and Emily looked at each other, normally Emily would never allow this, but it was their day, and Brian and Hannah were a big part of this too. So they just approached the cake, so the babies could touch it, everybody thought that was too cute, calling them the little Morgan artists, as they were sticking a finger into the cake and Derek adding his proud comments all the time, like:

"The cake needed a breather or air conditioning, anyways…"

They both had made a small hole in the cake, as they had grabbed a piece of cake in their little hands, and suddenly they started to crush the cake on Emily's and Derek's faces, as if wanting to put the smashed cake into their mouths, making everybody laugh even more. Derek approached Emily and started to kiss the cake out of her face, with small kisses and licks, and Emily doing the same for him, as the babies got a little jealous as they started to slap gently their parents for some attention too.

They all were having, great, funny and wonderful time. At the end of the party, Emily and Derek were about to cut the wedding cake, they were in front of the cake, holding hands to make first cut on the cake, when Emily felt sick, she thought only to herself: "I know this sensation…", she look at Derek and said:

"I think I need to vomit..."

She ran away fast to the bathroom.

**THE END**

* * *

**There you have it folks a typical ending with more suspense but I leave it there for you to have your imaginations to take you anywhere you want it to any ride you like. Speaking of rides, thank you so much for joining me in this long journey ride with you trying to bring you everything which is angst, drama, romance, spice, love, humor and suspense. Please give me you final comments on this story and I will miss writing this story very much. Mega thanks to all of you again and love you all. As you all know, I have another Demily story that I'm writing called "A Big Surprise From the Past", so if you like my writing, be my guest. Also, for the wedding vows, I got some help from Yahoo, Answers. Also, I want to thank Giselle, and Paul for all their help. And everybody again for R&R.**


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